Volume III

[ncl]

TM,
I know yesterday must have been exhausting. I'm glad you're through it, and as always, I'm proud of your gentleman behavior.
I hope the rest of your weekend as well as your Thanksgiving is a good one.
Love & hugs, lc4

[paige40]

TM
Just thinking of you. I am speachless that all she could come up with is you married for the wrong reasons.... wow.. I am sorry.
She has no idea what she is doing right now. She will not find a better guy than you.

I am glad she didn't upset you when she came over for the decorations.

[Valeska19]

Wow TM,
I'm sorry she said that. Must have hurt like an SOB.

I'm glad you were able to get through the visit amicably and with no feeling. You are far more detached than I.

Keep on Keeping on.

((( )))

[workinghardguy]

Just script TM, just script... She has to tell herself something otherwise there would have to be something more fundamentally wrong.

Or... and this is a theory I'm working on in my sitch right now. Maybe we did actually marry for the wrong reasons... I know crazy, right? But, my W has all these issues: abandonment, security, abuse history, alcohol issues, a drug history. I have issues too: caretaking, co-dependency, being the savior, etc... Those two combined to bring us together.

So maybe we did marry for the wrong reasons? Her needs were met by my behaviors but over time they really weren't. THey were a band-aid on a much deeper wound.

The difference is I want us to work on stuff together. I now realize the extent of our issues and want to work on it. She doesn't. I watched my mom go through hell and back with my dad and his illnesses and never leave him or abandon him. She watched her dad move through four wives and her mom through three husbands. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why things are why they are.

I'm glad you're detached... I'm hoping I can get there soon too.

[Telemark]

Her comment didn't really bother me because it didn't surprise me. In her mind it is the truth and nothing I could have said would change that.

I'm just ready for all of this to be over so I can move on. I don't feel the deep sadness and despair I've been feeling for the last few months. It is still lonely when I am at home but I'm trying to keep my social calendar filled so I am around people who are good for me.

[Telemark]

I just received a notice that my posts are being moderated...huh?

[dbmod]

Telemark-

These references are not recommended or allowed. Telemark post. If you have questions, you may contact [e-mail].

[In_Shock]

TM you are handling this so well....but I can feel the pain as i read your words. I'm thinking of you. This time of year is going to be especially hard for so many of us who have found this terrible but awesome community.

I am sending you big big big hugs. (and moderation without a warning first? TM has been here a long time!)

[jbnati]

Telemark, I hate hearing the that excuse. However, I think you're correct - it is absolutely 100% correct in her mind. In her mind, life under the big top is the way to go over what she previously had. At least that's the way it is in her mind NOW.

By contrast, you have improved your own life. You have learned from your mistakes. You have become a much better man. You will be an excellent catch and you will now attract the right kind of woman you want to attract.

As always, I'd rather be you than your W.

[In_Shock]

Amen to what JB said. It took me a while to realize he's right--It's absolutely true === it's better to be US than THEM. With the horrific gut wrenching pain comes self examination. You are both two of the most solid men I've 'known'.