I have some Chantix pills that I'm not using and she wanted to get them to give to a friend. Beyond that, she suggested Friday b/c her dog has a vet appointment that day and she would have him with her so said she thought I might like to see him and spend time with her dog (who used to live with me).
I'm worried if I say no, she'll say just leave the medicine in the mailbox so she can swing by and get it.
Yeah I miss my dogs too - I understand. I'm by no means a vet here, however, I would say yes. I'm kinda of a wussy though. One thing you can do is ask her what time becuase you have plans?
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
Instead, she is offering to bring the dog over for a visit.
Why would you say no? Are you worried you'll have an R talk? Are you worried you can't show your W your good side?
Make plans to go out AFTER the visit. Be dressed to the nines and have a plan to go somewhere (make sure you have a plan to go somewhere). That way, if you start to become uncomfortable, you can make your exit with the valid excuse that you are going somewhere.
It doesn't mean you hang with your W all evening either, if things are going well. Let her enjoy your company and then excuse yourself. She will have a GOOD memory of you to miss.
Ok, will do. It's during the day on Friday and I have court scheduled at 1:30 so there will be a reason to excuse myself. i will be wearing a suit, I imagine. I will tell her to bring it on! She will see the good side of me and we will have a good time Thanks so much guys!
All right, how bout an update. Things went really well today. The EX came over a few minutes after twelve, and brought one of her dogs. The dog she brought used to live with me before she left. He was thrilled to see me and got along with our other two dogs. Anyway, after a while outside, we came in and she sat down (which is, in and of itself a new thing) and we chatted for nearly an hour. We had some really good conversation. No relationship talk, but just friendly banter. We got a chance to ask about what each other was up to and such. I was able to let her know that I had been scuba diving and was pursuing more certifications, that it was my 134th day with no alcohol, she got to see some work on the house, and also some future plans regarding scuba, hiking, etc. She told me about applying to pharmacy school, some upcoming dog shows, and how her mother had been doing.
She stayed much longer than I thought she would, about an hour in total. We joked around a lot and pretty much the whole time, we were both smiling and laughing. We both made jokes that were kind of "inside" and we both laughed when that happened. She made nice comments on my clothes as well. At some point she started to leave, and it was at least another 15 minutes before she actually got in the car. This wasn't because of anything I was doing other than talking. She noticed a book I was reading and asked me questions about it. It was a book by J.R.R. Tolkien and she has some books of his as well, even suggesting we should trade books in the near future.
When she was leaving, I walked her to the car, and she stood in the yard for a bit and continued to talk. It was me that kept moving towards her car. That was the point I was able to bring up my sobriety, and she gave me a high five and also shook my hand in a fairly flirty way.
To top it all off, I didn't text her after she left, even though I wanted to tell her I had a good time and that it was great to see the dog....a few hours later, she texted me and said thanks for the chantix pills and gave me a smiley face on top of that.
It's hard not to be too upbeat, but in response, I just said "yer mighty welcome" and that was that. I think I left her with a good feeling and that was the best I could hope for. Maybe with some luck, we'll get some more contact in the future. She initiated this one, as she could have easily said leave the medicine in the mailbox or whatever. Rather, she said let's do it Friday and you can see my dog. I got the sense she was nervous at first about seeing me and was comfortable after it was clear I wasn't going to talk relationship, ask about boyfriend, or anything like that. Thanks so much for the support guys, and wish me luck in the future.
Ok, so some new developments are afoot. Hope it's good news.
Anyway, on Tuesday of this week, EX and I were texting and she asked me a personal question. She said she hoped she wasn't being too nosy and I said no, you can ask me anything you like. If I don't want to answer, I'll decline to answer. She was cool with that and told me the same went for her. I said thanks but there isn't anything I feel I need to ask at the moment. A big breakthrough for me, not asking any personal questions. Later she said that she thought it was silly for us to walk around on eggshells for each other and I agreed. She said it was silly "especially now" and I asked her what that meant. She said just that emotions weren't so high any more and that time had passed. Not sure if she means that she's over me or what, but I don't think she'd still be texting me as much as she has if tha were the case.
Later we talked some more today and she told me about her plans for the weekend, a first in a long time. She's been responding to me pretty much immediately and has initiated texting as well. We have shared some things that are going on in our lives and such. She hasn't really asked me much so I haven't given her much info. Hopefully this continues for a while. We've even slightly flirted a bit.
The hard part is that now I want to text her all the time and talk to her. It's hard to refrain from talking as much as I'd like. I would think though that, even though she's been really positive towards me lately, I should still be mysterious and not respond all the time. Thoughts?
Thanks guys for the responses. It's really hard not to assume this means she wants to get back together. I kinda get upset and want more more more. You're right though mach1...she'll let me know when she's ready.
We kinda continued talking into the evening. I let her text last and then went silent. I just really hope that with time she can start to like me again. I'm not sure I want to be "just friends" but I'm willing to give it a shot for a while. To tell you the truth, part of me hopes that her talking to me like this will cause a rift with new boyfriend. Of course, that could backfire. Anyway I guess just play it cool and see what happens. Maybe she does just wanna be friends, but wouldn't that be harder on all involved? If its truly over, why talk to me at all?
Thanks so much guys!