Im already divorced and will be a year in September. i am currently dating a real good girl and haven't spoken or had any contact with my ex wife in months. Out of the blue she emails me yesterday and starts talking she tells me that she is still scared to talk to me but has seen a change even though she is scared to talk to me cause she thinks i will go back to being mean to her. She told me she has just started dating a singer in a rock band lol completely different from me being im a clean cut law enforcement officer. I say well maybe u can find happiness and he will be good to her and the kids and left it at that. she responds this doesn't mean we cant be friends and civil to each other. i say sure we can be friends and left it at that and haven't contacted her since. for some reason i really could care less that she is dating someone. Just weird she contacted me out of the blue. Women are def. different.
My XW and I reached a civil point at about that same timeline. I can't say we have ever become "friends" since the D, but we definitely have each other's back during difficult times to ensure that our son is taken care of.
Maybe you're at a point of detachment that allows you to not care that she's dating. That's not so different from what the rest of us are trying to do with our current sitch's - reach a level of unconditional love that yet doesn't leave our own needs neglected.
Thats true I would eventually like to give it another shot with her as i do still harbor care and feelings for her but if not we can just be friends. I think it kinda shocked her when she told me and my response was good maybe you can find happiness with this guy.
whats funny though is a few weeks ago i was at a cookout with my current g/f and my ex wifes best friend walked up to me outside and said you know she isn't over you.I simply responded by saying yea sure but im glad she is happy. Her friend responds im telling you the truth i talk to her everyday. Guess we will see what time brings.
I have noticed that if I've treated Xs well - no matter what the reason for the split up - they occasionally come cycling back thru to at least take a gander at you again. The caution is that, yes, they are remembering the positives of the sitch again, and wondering if your behavior and changes are real, but but their choice to cycle back has more to due with discontent in their current sitch.
DB principles apply here as well. Familiarize yourself with the DB/DR texts and proceed with light, positive caution. : )
