ITM: I'm glad you had a fun night out. We all need a little levity during really trying times.
Hang in there. It will all come together. If you've only got 2 weeks till court date - I would not be planning any moves. It's good to have options in your head (we all need a Plan B) but wait and see what happens and then you can make your decision based on the facts.
Hang in there ITM. I'm in the same boat you are financially. I make too much for any assistance (food or healthcare assistance) but not enough to live on really. I'm $1200 a year over the cut off......what a crock!
In short, I sympathize.
Your STBX is a sick individual. It's twisted to contact you on your anniversary and say how sorry he is that he's done things to you that couldn't be repaired and then to go to FB and rub salt in the wounds by joking about the end of your marriage. No, you aren't on his friend list, but I'm sure plenty of people you both know are and he knew it would get back to you. Nothing is private! What a dufus!
How fun playing softball! I played when I was 8 years old.....won the award for losing the most blood. LOL! I'm not kidding! The ball always managed to find my nose. I wasn't too good at blocking it!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
S15 came home tonight mopey and really moody, wouldnt talk at all. He had been out to eat with his D. after about an hour of watching him like that I finally asked him what was wrong...he started tearing up and said ow had called his D while they were out and his Ds phone was so loud he could hear the whole conversation (they were in his truck)..he said "she called him babe...and said I love you to him"... by the time he got it out he was full on crying.
Now, i will tell you that this man has always been pretty clueless our whole marriage, but really??...your son can hardly make himself spend any time with you and this is a decision you think is wise with your 15 yr old son sitting next to you in your truck????
I of course, waited for S15 to go to bed to have my cry...the thought of another woman saying that to my husband made me want to scream...and I can assume that he has said it to her, whitch makes me want to throw up........when does that stop?? anyone able to answer that one for me???
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
Like CTH said, it's not something that will magically disappear even after a D is final. It still haunts me to this day. Just move forward with dignity.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Got a call from my L yesterday, she said that STBX and his L wanted to come to a support agreement before the court date on the 2nd. We have been going back and forth since yesterday and are waiting right now for a response from them on an offer the we made this morning, after they turned down the one we made yesterday. I am stressed out and at work having to try and make these crazy decisions and feel like Im being preasured. I dont know if this is the norm, but its ridiculous and if my L calls or emails again this morning Im going to tell her that I will get back to her when i get home. AND...Im not going to make a decision about my financial future on the phone on the spot!!.. Is this normal ???? I feel like my L is just trying to get it over with...and not being really helpful.
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
If you are stressing about the calls then it is perfectly fine for you to say you need some time to consider it. If she balks at that then she is definitely not looking out for you. Step back, take a breath, and don't look at it again until you have time to take into account all of the details. This is a good portion of your life you are talking about, not what you're having for dinner tomorrow! Gees!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
ITM: Yes, this is normal. FIrst of all - it is a business deal to your lawyer and to his lawyer. Second, as Mish says - this is YOUR life. It has to work for YOU. It IS hard to be distracted at work but there might be some info she is trying to get your input on and truth be told - most agreements are made during 9 to 5 hours. That doesn't mean to settle but do remember that there has to be some give and take on both sides in order to reach a satisfactory agreement. And a good agreement works for both parties.
You will never get everything you ask for (well, it's not likely) just make sure you can live with what you do agree to. Prolonging it is expensive too. It's kind of like selling a house - sometimes you take less so you can get it done with sooner and stop paying out more on that house.
Anyway - the good news is that your lawyer IS working for you. There is some action. You need some movement in order to Gitter Dun.
My ex didn't really do anything to get the ball rolling on the divorce. I guess he wanted it but wanted me to do all the work or didin't want to be the bad guy or something! The one lesson I learned is that your L is not there to listen to how bad your STBX is or to help talk your way through the problems. They are there to get you divorced, like it or not.
Your L of course is there to look out for your best interests but still at the end of the day it is just a day's work for them. Only real thing my L kept telling me was that my ex was a snake in the grass and I would be much better off without him. Basically that is true.
I hope this gets resolved quickly for you but never agree to less than you deserve.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
