We never did come to an agreement, I dont actually even understand why they contacted us to try...they made no attempt at compromising on anything. There offer was so low, and they never budged from it so we go to court on Wednesday.
I dont know if you read it but about 2 months ago I posted when my S15 came home from hanging with his friends and I could tell that he was high, and then STBX wouldnt even come over to talk to him with me. I was so upset that S15 would do that and he had said he did it to get his Ds attention. Well, a couple of days ago S15 comes to me and says he needs to get something off his chest that he wasnt honest with me about. He said he didnt exactly tell me the whole truth that day and that he had actually bought the marijuana from some kid (he had told me someone had it and he tried it)..and when he came home he had hid the bag in my garage. A week later when his D finally come over to talk to him he told his D about it, his D had him go in the garage and get it, bring it out to him in his truck and he took it and got rid of it for him and told him not to tell me. Not only that but my son had text him before he talked to me and told him he was going to tell me cus he felt bad for lieing about it, and STBX tells him, ok go ahead but keep my name out of it and dont tell her that I knew. UNFREAKENBELIEVABLE!!!!!
this is a man who is a recovering alcoholic and goes to AA....and he decided that the best way to handle it is to teach my son to be dishonest instead of being acountable and just telling me the whole story. When i spoke to him he said he felt like the damage was already done and it was the right way to handle it...i told him that I have been always honest with him and kept him involved and informed and you didnt think I should have been involved in this? he said "everyones parenting skills are different".........I could literally pull my hair out..
but on the up side I was so proud of my S15, he fessed up on his own. I would have never known and i told him that showed so much maturity and integrity and that I was really really proud of him for that. I guess Im doing something right after all...even with his D encouraging him to be dishonest, he still made the right choice...:)
coincedently ...i have a meeting with my L today before our court date on Wed. I plan on telling her to see if this will help my case at all...Im thinken he fell from the stupid tree...and hit every branch on the way down....
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
Definitely hit every branch on the way down! It is absolutely an example of bad parenting but not something a judge is going to really care about. Sickening isn't it?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
The court date went as well as could be expected I guess... We got a temp support order in place that I think was very fair, both of us compromised but he of course was not happy. For all you legal people out there we went with the Ostler/Smith agreement on his overtime...which I personally think screws him in the long run but it was fair..and thats all I was trying to be. Its temporary so we will see if it works out. It was one of the most difficult days Ive had, sitting in that hall way (which btw, i have been in quite a few times with my older sons father...a whole other story) with a person I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with 18 yrs ago was painfull to say the least. He was defensive and border line rude...sitting there for 4 hrs with no eye contact or any kind of acknowledgement other then the hello I forced out of him when he first got there. I was determined to be friendly if it killed me... so that part is over..its been a hard couple of weeks, our anniversary, the court date and then his bday was the next day... Im tired and sad and really just ready to move on...
Me:48 H:42 M: 18 yrs. S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H D bomb: 9/9/11 OW confirmed 10/30/11 D papers filed 11/01/11 S15 S21(Special needs) S28
Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...
But you got through it. And it sound like it went better than expected. And that is AWESOME!!! Good for you. It WILL get easier from here on. That day in court was HUGE. And you held up well.
Yes - you are tired and you have the right to be sad. And to grieve. But then you will eventually be happy again. And not look back. It just takes time.
Imthemom my court date is June 5th. Going through some of what you have been dealing with. The difference is that I go to court and deal with the system as part of my job. I'm not a L. My W has never been in court. She will be shocked. We started this journey around the same time and I remember when you posted at first. You sound strong and very sorry for what you are going through.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
