I started a thread earlier this morning, wasn't exactly thinking clearly, so I'm trying again with a new thread.
This is a re-visit from previous seperation, divorce, divorce busting, re-marriage, seperation, re-uniting again, now another bomb dropped.....WAW planning to move out again.
I have run the gamut. Seperated 9 years ago as wife was having em affair, I did all the wrong things....pleading, begging, you name it. Finally detached and use DB techniques, mostly for my own sanity. Re-united, re-married, seperated again after 2 years. She kept saying she knew she needed to come home, same stuff on my part, mistakes at first, then DB techniques, then she came home again. We've had some great times since her return but life keeps getting in the way....kids, finances, aging parents, job related stress, you name it.
When I made a committment to marriage, I meant it for life, for better or for worst. I guess I need to just move on now, still love her and she says she still loves me, but she wants to stand on her own two feet. Sometimes think we have come too far to give up. I know if I go distant, she will drag me back in again. Kids will be devastated again is the toughest part for me. We both have made mistakes, but I truly don't think the feeling is gone, still too much there. I suspect some kind of affair, maybe not physical, but emotional.
Need prayers and thoughtful advice.
Me:53 W:50 M:29 years T: 30 years Children: S21, D12
Missing was a great sex life Kaffe. Most of that attributed to simply not making time out of our schedule to make it a priority. Actually started to get back on track before the last bomb. I think it can be very good, but think she is very unsure.
Me:53 W:50 M:29 years T: 30 years Children: S21, D12
positive day yesterday, tried to distance myself from her(we actually work at the same place). In the evening she mentioned that I barely talked to her today. I can sense that she doesn't know what she wants, and I don't think she really wants to leave.
Me:53 W:50 M:29 years T: 30 years Children: S21, D12
Hi Robb, sorry that you're having troubles. You say what was missing was a great sex life. For a W, there's a lot more to a great sex life than sex. Can you dig any deeper? Why weren't you finding or making time, both of you? What might she have been resenting and not telling you? Did you communicate really well together?
In DB, what to do next is usually work on you, make marriage to you better than it was, be someone she'd be a fool to leave. Is there anything there that you can see to work on?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Thanks for replying advina. Wife began going through menopause about a year and a half ago, that seemed to diminish her sex drive some, we both had decreased libido. We would have some really great sessions, but some not-so-good ones as well. The not-so-good ones tend to make us fearful of trying at times. We have such busy schedules as well, just had trouble finding time to be intimate. I know that is something that has really affected her feelings. She loves me and I love her, we just need increased intimacy. No excuses are good ones though really, like I said, we just didn't make time for it as we should have.
Me:53 W:50 M:29 years T: 30 years Children: S21, D12
