Floating through the waves

[needgrace]

Hi, Time for a new thread. My last one was "starting to float."

The new title reflects that I am definitely floating but that there are still occasional waves which rock me but then thankfully, pass through...

so another wave today...

email from W asking me questions about our marriage certificate... stuff she needs to file the D...

in my mind, that is stuff she needs to figure out on her own... i don't think i have the certificate and don't want to help her with this...

i thought i made it clear to her before that i was not going to help with the D.. i respect her right to do so and will not stand in her way but this is her road to walk..

so how do i say this to her again? i don't want her to think that i am doing this bc i am not moving on with my life.

do i just not answer? do i just say that i don't know?

thanks!

[Brit45]

A no reply too harsh? I wouldn't help her with the info!

[vera be fierce]

I like the title! I will remember this next time I'm at the beach - some actual practice of floating with the waves would be good for me, I think

As for the email - what if - either don't reply or write back and said "Don't know where it is, sorry." If you don't have it then that's the truth, no?

[needgrace]

Thx vera. i should have given more information.

she had emailed and asked if i had the certificate. i replied no, i don't that i thought she did. i thought that would end it but....

she replied, "I actually don't think we ever got it. i have the domestic partner certificate. I am trying to find it online but can't. we didn't do a private one did we? I remember the guy asking us, but i think we said public. do you remember? also, we did everything in SF right? We got married on Sept 6th right? not the 4th. I know the union was on the 5th."

too funny or sad or both that she can't remember the date.

[vera be fierce]

Wow.

Wow. Talk about a slap in the face.

How about, "Can't remember, sorry."

[Brit45]

WHAT? That is way across the line. No response. Seriously you did your part.

[Valeska19]

NG,

Don't respond to anything that she can figure out on her own...

It will put you on a rollercoaster that you don't need right now.

And I don't think she means to..

.. at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself after my XW commented on my best friend's status last night......

... a person whom she never really talked to and a person she knows I hang out with/rely on a bunch since my S.

But thinking that she is "slapping you in the face" is no good. Doesn't help in anyway.

Ignore.. Rise above..move forward.

((( )))

[Jessica M.]

I felt the same way when WAH was filing. He was asking me questions and wanting to help him with filling out the paperwork. I wasn't trying to be nasty but I wasn't going to do anything to help him with wanting to end our marriage. Silly what they expect our help with. It's too much, of course, for us to expect them to work with us to save our marriage!

[Valeska19]

*Doesn't help us*

[scaredsilly]

grace, unless you want this tennis ball coming back at you again, you may just have to spell it out. tell her that you have previously stated you are not there to help her divorce you. you are moving on with your life. she has fired you as her wife so she will have to find someone else (clerk at the courthouse, attorney, new wife, etc.) to take over where you left off.

just my .02 worth.