Badcompany back for more

[AnotherStander]

Depression puts one in a very emotionally fragile state. It's a time when most people need the support of their loved ones more than ever. People sometimes do become "emotionally distant" when in depression, but it's because they're having difficulty feeling emotions at all. Some people describe it as feeling like their soul is a black hole, and having been through it I'd say that's pretty accurate. From my personal experience with it both having suffered it myself and having supporting loved ones while they went through it, I'd say GAL is the wrong response. Your W may not be asking for support right now, but believe me, she needs it. You need to help her through this, and as I mentioned earlier in your thread that may entail encouraging her to get to the doctor and discuss A/D's. Depression is a mental illness and should never be taken lightly.

[MrBond]

No I didn't see that anything was missed. If your W has depression (and if you've done any research on it), she is looking for something that is going to make her "feel" again. She's looking for a lifeline. That's probably why she's trying to touch you, do things physically with you, etc. So you have to be that for her and fill the void that she feels.

If not, then another guy will.

[badcompany]

Gotcha

[badcompany]

Some people were telling me that she is cycling and not to cycle with her.


Maybe i misunderstand, but sometimes i feel like i get conflicting advice here.

[ericmsant2]

BC

TIME buddy....everything in TIME. She wants to ML and hold hands..that is a good sign!

Patience is a b*tch - right now, I still see the same thing I saw in your post a while ago. You want this to be fixed NOW. You may need to have some patience dude. If she is depressed she (not YOU) needs the time to sort through it.

Maybe instead of focusing on your pain, focus on trying to have some fun with her. Try and show her by your actions....what a happy person is.

As for the conflicting advice, you will find it here. Take what YOU feel works for YOU in your sitch. Only you know that.

God Bless,
Eric

[MrBond]

You said she was diagnosed with depression. That has nothing really to do with the M. The marital problems are a result of the depression.

Be there for her ESPECIALLY since she's initiating. Go out and have fun with her. Remember when you two were dating, try and get her to "feel" it.

[badcompany]

what if the depression is caused by the marriage ? not the other way around ?

not saying I feel that way, just a hypothetical ?

[badcompany]

I just want everyone to know I value their opinions and advice. weird and confusing time for me.

[MrBond]

For one thing it doesn't seem like your R is the problem. I mean if it were, your W would not be reaching out to you like that. Trust me. She'd avoid you like the plague and talk to you as if you were the worst person on earth.

There's some other issue here or it could very well be physical. Just be there for her and nurture and intensify the good feelings while diminishing the dark ones.

Maybe start a new type of adventure together. Or some activity which has a goal attached to it. If you give her something to focus on, it could be a good way to get her mind off of things.

[ericmsant2]

Bc

Mr Bond is giving you some very good advice and from what i read you are getting good signals from her.

I know you probably want more, you want the security of knowing that she is back to her old self.

It may happen but you really need to take it slow dude.

Change is a part of life.... how we deal with it says a lot about us. Can you go with the flow, remain positive, be a light for her...while she changes and works through whatever it is she is working through? You cannot control how she feels/reacts to you but you can control you.

So plan a trip just you and her... has she wanted to do anything lately? Does she have a hobby that she stopped? Think what could you do to make you and her feel good?