Tumbling, Busting, and Tori - It's wonderful to have support from each of you lovely ladies.
So here's today's scenario - spend the better part of the day doing light housework, including laundry - Yuck! W did come home at some point last night and it looked like she had fun. Hangover. . At one point during the day she said that she was getting hit on by somebody, no one would really want to get hit on by. So she said she was married. That didn't work for this guy. But it did for others? Nice right? The bar owner (her aunt) kept the guy away.
The rest of this day was her dropping D11 off for a sleepover and then her doing a little retail therapy before a work function. The boys and I go to a park and have a pretty good time.
When we leave the park I get a phone call from W. She tried shopping but left early and came home as she has been crying all day, including while shopping. She is going to not go to the work function, but rather go spend time with a coworkers (the one who was the OW for a different R) and some of her female friends. W says she needs to clear her head, she needs to get better. She then literally said she "chooses us". I validate all that and wish her well, be careful. If all this is true, then Yay! I am going to tread lightly though. No sense in treading on dreams.
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Good job planning to tread lightly. You sound very strong, Andrew. I'm impressed. You exemplify what it means to be DBing and validate your W under difficult circumstances
Hope you enjoyed the work function.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Good update. She is being really open about her feelings, which is great, and you are listening and not reacting when what she says isn't what you want to hear. Awesome job.
Also, when you make your list of wants, don't only focus on the short term (e.g. no OM,) but on the long term (e.g. financial responsibility.)
It sounds good and it might be something which could re-ignite the flame
Flame = Fire.
Fire = Fuel(common values/goals/love/desires) + Oxygen (space,boundaries) + Heat (attraction)
Women don't love men they can't respect. Being someones second choice has consequences. Be in charge of your actions. Too many confuse patience with time, patience is a mindset. Taking healthy actions requires no patience. Choose to thrive thru this instead of holding on to survive. Your sitch can change quickly when you start a fire in your life.
Thanks for simply being here and continuing to cheer me on.
Coach and Starsky, Somehow I missed over your post initially. I am still trying to grasp it's full meaning. I'm pretty sure she I'm the first choice, and I do have her respect. Should I interpret it to mean, to take proactive, positive action to make things better? Or????
Journaling... Yesterday was fair. W was again an admitted emotional mess, per her. I struggle with not helping her. I know it is her journey, but I have to at least vent it here, that I want to console and make everything better. I've simply been validating what I can. IN the afternoon, she reportedly was beginning to "clean up her FB." Last night, she was very distant, so I told her I was going to the bedroom to read. She soon thereafter followed, and cuddled up next to me. At one point, we fell asleep for a few while holding one another. Then she woke and eventually went upstairs to her bed. This morning she shared, bad nights of rest / couldn't sleep. I hope she calls and schedules an IC appt soon.
But i am here with you cheerleading for you on the blanket!
:-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Afa, If an intruder was in your home and after your wife, what would she respect?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
. At one point during the day she said that she was getting hit on by somebody, no one would really want to get hit on by. So she said she was married. That didn't work for this guy. But it did for others? Nice right? The bar owner (her aunt) kept the guy away. 