Got a nice little email from h this morning. He is begging me for money. I am not responding at all to him. In the email it asks why I am not answering his texts. Haha bc they are blocked !!!! I sound mean but what in the world would make him ask me for money?
Lisa
YOU DO NOT "SOUND" MEAN...you'r silence is you setting a boundary around you & your kids. You will NOT be mistreated or dragged into his meloDramas anymore.
You'd be a Fool to give him money, even discussing it is weird.
His odd, unhealthy (& under the circumstances-cruel,) requests for pictures & intimate talk,
WHILE he's cheating on you, is simply appalling.
I've been here a long time & had some success. I've seen a lot of wacky cluelessly self absorbed behavior & misconduct.
Your h's behavior is worse than most, & around HERE,
that's saying a lot. Keep on keeping on...life does get better.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes, he is a selfish person. He has taken to calling my home phone and his emails arent really about the kids. He tells me his ow/gf that he is living with is telling him to get a different place to live bc she says she wants his kids to have separated bedrooms for whenever they visit and stay with H. As i have mentioned she is 25 well she just turned 26 and has 2 kids herself that drive her crazy. H informed me through an email that she was quitting her one job and just waitressing on the weekend. Are you serious? I know my focus should NOT be on ow but she takes one kid to school one to daycare and sits home all day? Ow is separated from her h and he has the kids half time so sometimes she doesnt even have kids to take care of wow so much for that ambitious go-getter that he said she was.
Anyway H's requests for money continued tille he got paid yesterday. Well another email came telling me he quit his job and got one here in our town and he will start that one Monday. Great! Also this morning was an email that he found and was looking at an apt but that if he couldnt get it he was going to have to go to an extended stay hotel. I havent responded to these emails but WOW, how bad is it that he has to stay in an extended stay and get out of her apt ASAP. Is the bloom coming off the rose?
I am just glad that I am changing myself for the better and wont get dragged through this again. My babies deserve better.
Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Yes, he is a selfish person. He has taken to calling my home phone and his emails arent really about the kids. He tells me his ow/gf that he is living with is telling him to get a different place to live bc she says she wants his kids to have separated bedrooms for whenever they visit and stay with H. As i have mentioned she is 25 well she just turned 26 and has 2 kids herself that drive her crazy. H informed me through an email that she was quitting her one job and just waitressing on the weekend. Are you serious? I know my focus should NOT be on ow but she takes one kid to school one to daycare and sits home all day? Ow is separated from her h and he has the kids half time so sometimes she doesnt even have kids to take care of wow so much for that ambitious go-getter that he said she was.
Anyway H's requests for money continued tille he got paid yesterday. Well another email came telling me he quit his job and got one here in our town and he will start that one Monday. Great! Also this morning was an email that he found and was looking at an apt but that if he couldnt get it he was going to have to go to an extended stay hotel. I havent responded to these emails but WOW, how bad is it that he has to stay in an extended stay and get out of her apt ASAP. Is the bloom coming off the rose?
I am just glad that I am changing myself for the better and wont get dragged through this again. My babies deserve better.
Lisa
Good for you, keep up the HARD work.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
My H is a little on the crazy side i am starting to realize more and more. Like I posted earlier he has been haking me down by email and my house phone all week until he got paid yesterday. I have been ignoring anything thats not kid related. About 30 minutes ago I get an email from him saying that he is going to be refusing to correspond with me anymore bc all I do is spew **** out of my mouth and screw with him. He said its really aggrevating to him that he has to wake up and deal with me about the kids. This is one paragraph from his email
Im done i will not email or call you anymore have the kids call me if they need anything or if they want me to come pick them up enjoy your big plans weekend which u must not be doing much bc i spoke with son this morning and he didnt sound too excited
Really? I realize that H is with her this weekend and her kids at her apt and I dont know if he is really moving out or not but where did this crap come from? He is bringing up my big weekend plans which is putting out all of our Christmas deco and the tree and stuff here at my house with the kids. He doesnt know this bc i told the kids I had big plans for the weekend and apparently this is what they told him. I was wanting to surprise the kids with a fun Saturday. I dont know what he means about "spewing crap"out my mouth bc I havent spoken with him concerning anything other than the kids. I truly am confused about this. His tone (as what I can tell in an email) is nasty and harsh.
Oh I can't let him bother me today.
Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
just posting here so I dont try to email or call H. I am letting him ruin my day by his email this morning and I was doing so good Ughhh.........
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Lisa, try not o let him steal your joy. My daughter and I are putting decorations up today as well. Enjoy your day, let the chips fall where they may. Someone in Tennessee is walking the same exact walk with you, even by putting deco up today lol
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Thanks subguy, I am trying to not let it bother me but you know how that is , lol
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Thanks subguy, I am trying to not let it bother me but you know how that is , lol
If we were to "compete" with him in his crazyland, and we should NOT do so b/c we like the planet earth, then at least get real and see this for what it is... it's A VICTORY! You got to HIM!
He cannot stand that you won't engage w/him and he fears you have big plans with some OM or something b/c why else would he imply that the kids either complained (as if they'd be left alone)?
I don't see how you can honestly feel insulted by this. Sure it's nuts, b/c you said NOTHING to him, so where's the spew?
And there must be some trouble in paradise or he wouldn't share all his issues with the OW's job and kids AND he would NOT NEED MONEY FROM YOU...OMG!!...
That is why it makes me laugh and shake my head and say, "gee, i guess SOMETHING is Not going so well with HIM"
and your reward is NOT spending another ounce of energy on it...
(unless you want to pat yourself on the back a little).
But all you have to do now is GAL and Make sure the kids are clear on what is happening with YOU and the good stuff going on for you AND THEM...
(don't worry about HIM, b/c he's not your problem)
and create some good memories for THEM and YOU...
It's about time. He's not in your life for all intents and purposes.
If he somehow corners you into a conversation that you cannot avoid, really Lisa what is there to say? He's with OW and she's not the first and won't be the last.
What WIFE has to say anything to that? IF he wants to tell himself he's "trying to be friends" or some other BS, tell him to call you at your youngest's wedding or some other big family event in a decade or two and MAYBE then you guys can be all hunky dory.
For now, you have had an awakening and are simply too busy GAL to deal with his bad behavior and let's face it, HIS behavior is terrible by any standards.
Don't let him drag you into his delusions...you are on earth Lisa. We don't know where he lives...
And real h's don't cheat on their wives AND ask for money AND get angry when their wives FINALLY stop engaging...
Keep up the great work!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I posted a new thread in Newcomers tday but I will journal here now nded up changing my cell number which he got from our 12 y/o son. I have been reading and researching like a mad woman on why I am still allowing him to hurt me emotionally.
if you dare to read be prepared its long but maybe by me journaling here I can see my mistakes and also get feedback.
He moved into an extended stay bc he HAD to get out of her apt. Apparently our 12 y/o son was causing issues with her while he was staying with his dad for a few weeks. She didnt want to have to take him to school and pick him up everyday. She didn want to "babysit" him in the afternoons. She keeps her and her part time sons food separate and according to my H he had no money to feed our son anything other than what he got at school or peanut butter sandwiches. So while she was feeding her kids dinner on the nights she had them she didnt feed my son bc his dad who is her "soul mate" didnt leave food for him. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??????? Please let me include that she is on food stamps. Please understand I am NOT in no way knocking anyone on assistance at all. But she is now 26 has 2 sons ages 5 and 3. Her school aged son goes to public school and the 3 yo goes to a state funded day care. Not a VPK program but a daycare while she sits at home all day. She is on section 8 housing assistance. All of this while she has a license to practice hairdressing but chooses to cut only family anf friends hair and told my H that sitting at a salon waiting on walk-ins is a waste of her time. Ummm How else can she build a clientel? she waitresses on Sat and Sun nights every other weekend and thats it! No full time work. Unbelieveable to me. Oh yeah and she has a 2011 car worth 35,000 that is in her and her daddys name. who makes the payments ? I have no idea? Yep, I am a little furious at this bc my H has bereated me every time he left and this time especially hard at me for not being a go getter like her and she has 2 jobs while raising her 2 kids and all I have managed is working part time here and there while getting two degrees and singlehandly raising 6 kds bc he was never here. He worked at least 60 hours more like 70-80 per week.
Yeppers I am being very bitter right now and I dont like it. I am not trying to be a martyr and I know he is blinded right now but dang come on H knows what I have been through with him these last 14 plus years. yes, rewriting history.
I am sorry for the flood of posts fromme but I have to get this out
I
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
