DBing to save myself

[LisaLost]

continuing..

Back to the extended stay, Come to find out he only paid for 2 weeks instead of the month he kept swearing to everyone he was getting. I now see why and what the plan was. She and he are pretty evil people. Lord, forgive me. If you had been reading this thread you will know he had been begging me for money and I havent even flinched. A few times I slipped and he got a reaction from me but nothing like he has received in the past from me.

He got a 2 br suite told our 12 y/o that the extra room was his and that for him and his brothers and sis when they came over and that he and his ow were going to slow down and he was going to work on being a good dad and getting them a home and all this crap that excited my son. According to 12 DS he tried to like dads new gf but when dad wasnt there she asked him all kinds of questions and made him uncomfortable. He told me these things but made me promise not to tell his dad bc he didnt want his dad mad at him. My 12DS has a bed wetting issue he has had forever and it got worse while over there. My H got mad bc he had to wash the sheets and stuff daily. Also since she only has her kids occasionally but our son was over there all the time it got to be a problem with them.

Well the move out was just a show. He had her over every single night of course that caused issues with my S and my H. my son finally had told me about the food situation so I went and purchased groceries for the suite bc it has a kitchen. I purchased things mainly for my son. I pre cooked hamburgers, taco meat and spagetti sauce with meat that he could just heat up. Needless to say her and her kids go through it knowing it came from me. She even had the nerve to text me that she was enjoying an ice cold Coke that I had bought and that she always wanted to to buy her a drink. I didnt respond. She sent that she is fixing tacos for her family at her bfs hotel suite compliments of chef ex wife.

well of course the go through all the food and H asked me to take son to get more. I said Oh I dont think so. So much more .....He starts drama with our s and so does ow. so he told dad he wanted to come home to mom and his real family. He was dropped off 10 minutes later. H and ow have told everyone that he tried so hard to make it work with his son and even got a 2 bdroom suite but son went back to momma. so poor poor H.

Truth is he ran out of money to pay for his room needed to get rid of our s12 so he could go back to her apt and not make it look like he was the bad guy. He swore to my son he wasnt going back there no matter what just last night he told him that and guess where he is?......


What is kicking me off is that he is telling our s12 that HE9son 12) made the call when he said he didnt like dads gf and wanted to go to his family. oh wow!!


again forgive me I am getting this out

[LisaLost]

My son is back with me and of course H is happily back with ow at her apt.

Something to add to this drama is that H emailed me a few days after he moved into this extended stay and said he knew how I felt and that karma had gotten him bc she had went back to her ex husband or stbx. He kept telling me he was so broken and how he feels so bad that he ever made me feel this bad if thisis what it feels like to lose your love. Basically saying she dumped him without actually saying it. I didnt respond and he called me heartless and told me that I might not believe him that she left him but time would tell. yeah whatever

Just two days ago after her telling me again how pathetic and pitiful I was and how I am old and she is young and fun. I confessed to her and now to you guys I went over to his room on night in just my lingerie and robe and we had sex. I eneded up telling her this at this point and she called me a liar and I described lots of stuff still I am a liar. He even called me a liar. Later she left a message that said even if I did sleep with him that I was the whore loser bc I was slepping with a committed man. UMMM well I am still married to him and she actually is still married to someone else. wrong of me yes but really ow you want to say that? She said of course he will use u for sex. how does that feel to be used for sex? that was her question to me. yep I brought it on myself but she really buys this. Then he says with her on speaker phone that he loves her and will spend the rest of his life with her. and she added so there and they hung up laughing.


yes I know I am an idiot.

[LisaLost]

sorry for the rambling

[dbmod]

Taking care of yourself is the MOST important thing you can do right now--and actually always. It allows you to be able to take care of your children well, to do the things you need to get through your day. You come from a place of strength.

You're doing the right thing.

[LisaLost]

i feel like i am losing my mind right now. why rub their crap in my face? its breaking my resolve she laughing at me over the phone that was suppose to be a convo with me and H about our son H letting her call me pathetic and worthless and to hear him not even defend me To hear him say I am useless and he never loved me and he would have stayed with every woamn he left me for but God had plans for him and her to be togther they are best freinds and she is classy something I will never be.they supposedly thought they hung up but one didnt and I got to hear hear him tell her I never meant in al those years nothing but babysitter he said she has to realize that she has ruined my life and bet she cant sleep bc she ruined her kids family the one thing she wanted for them , the 26 year old said yeah she is a f'ed up head case if i were her I would kill myself I couldnt live with what she put you nd her kids though I dont know wheat he said but its not true and I was feeling so strong but to hear this has broken me I have thought I was going right and I messed up my kids lives .

anybody know whats its like to ne laughed at bcyou loved someone a nd are called pathtic and useless i dont kow what else to do but type I am so hurt i know heis a horrible person but cut me some slack

i cant btrath I am crying so hard I am so hurt

[LisaLost]

I hate this rollercoaster. One second my ducks are all in a row and the next they are feathers flying everywhere. yep I have to block again.

why does he have to keep on and on with the I cant stand you Lisa and I could care less who or what you do. have fun with your bf John. I am happy for once Lisa leave me alone. She is everything you arent ad nauseum....

This is usually after a few days of nc with him and then I answer one kid related question and it turns into a blood bath.

why?????

I know where my anger is coming from but his????

Mine is bc he says things then later says he didnt say those things. when his ow asks for proof and I send her the texts or emails she tells me they are all fake and made up REALLY??????

yeah cause now apparently according to her she is a computer programming major

HELP

[Soul.Searching]

Lisa, you need to stop letting him pull you in. He knows he has lost control over you and this is all he has left to control you with. Stop letting him!
He is controlling your emotions, checking that he can still get to you.
He is trying to keep your self esteem down, so that he knows he can still come back, if OW does leave him. It's all about the control right now.

They do not have a healthy relationship at all and are both as low as each other. No matter what he says, I'm sure he loved you at one stage, at least to whatever state he is capable of loving.

You are worth more than letting them do this to you. You are worth so much more. Don't let them do this. If you need to talk to him about your kids, then fine but as soon as the conversation changes topics, you need to hang up. Simply say that you are going now, bye and hang up.
Don't talk to her at all, there's no need to. Don't try to get to her by telling her things, your feeding their relationship right now.

They both sound like very sick individuals and you engaging in this, is giving them common ground. Feeding their unhealthy egos.
Leave them be to either, live their sick, twisted, shallow lives together or to burn out. He will most likely end up the same way to her as he is to you but not while your feeding them. Let them starve.

You haven't ruined your kids lives! Who is the one still there for them no matter what? Who is the one there to pick up the pieces? You are.

You have been dealt a crappy hand but your doing your best to overcome that. That's what counts.

[LisaLost]

You are right but it just seems like everything is so perfect with them. She texts me a pic of some cheesy engagement ring he got her for Christmas that he just couldn't wait ti give her. He and she are both still married. I responded with it looks very nice.

I haven't given him much to fight with me over lately and he sure is digging but why? Why not just go away? Why keep on trying to create an issue that isn't there? Then repeat the same I never loved u and now I have my soul mate. And w you are just jealous of ow and me.


Ignore and ignore and get the meaner parts of him and now she is including herself with the he loves me now so get over it speech of a 26 yo.


Ughhhhhhh

Lisa

[Soul.Searching]

Try not to take it personally. He possiblely is happier with her. Maybe because she is as sick and twisted as he is right now.
Not everybody is right for each other. His definately not right for you, from what I've read his treated you very poorly for a long time. You deserve much, much better.

Don't even respond to either of them, unless it concerns your children.
You can do this Lisa, you really can. Dig deep, dig very deep.