WAW having affair, still living in separate rooms

[sayitaintso]

What do you want to do?

Can you do that with zero expectations?

1st year post bomb I acknowledged it and my stbx did not and I was hurt.

2nd year neither of us acknowledged it and I felt much better.

[kenva]

I didn't acknowledge to w about our anniversary this weekend. And I was ok with it. She was at her parents house this weekend hanging out w s and a comment my mother in law made after just a few comments w said, which she is still avoiding any talk w her parents , was that it came across that she does not want to be married. She said something to w that it would have been our anniversary and wife's comment was, " it technically is still our anniversary. " She also told her mother that she realizes that what is going on isn't good for our s and that she is trying to get out. Man was she cold the last couple of days, ignoring me. This morning tho , she was a little warm. I still get frustrated occasionally when I think of her and OM, and when she is cold to me, but I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and still pray every night she wakes up.

[kenva]

I picked up our s as I usually do after school. He happens to tell me that mommy will be home later after she looks at a house. Hmm. He said that he would stay w her a week and a week w me. Funny. I confronted her a while back that we three need to sit down together and she have the talk w him. I guess not. Kinda pissed off that w and s were at a function this weekend and the om was there. Not together tho. Just a couple of hours ago s asked me to take training wheels off his bike. I did and he rode around. I was proud of him. So w comes out to watch then asks him to go for a bike ride which they did. So back to her house search. More power to her. I'm not moving out. And of course it doesn't look good that she is the one moving out.

[kenva]

So w just emailed me,and I had a feeling she would, about her finding another house. She wants me to decide ASAP on my decision on our current house if I can qualify to buy it and take her name off the note and deed. If not she wants to set a trial date and let the court decide. She said she had told our s that he would stay one week w me and one w her and she still wants to swap out on Wednesdays. She also tells me her parents are going to be out of town for thanksgiving , which is a lie, there not going anywhere, and that I can have our s all that day w my family. WOW, another kick in the mid section. I know I can't stop her. Anyone w any input ?

[sayitaintso]

She wants me to decide ASAP on my decision on our current house if I can qualify to buy it and take her name off the note and deed. If not she wants to set a trial date and let the court decide.

I know its tough but don't let her dictate what your options are. If you two are capable of having a productive discussion then you can do so and you can then take as much time as you need to make a decision that is best for you and your s.

If you can't discuss it then you can take as much time as you need to make a decision that is best for you and your s.

If she wants to threaten you w/ trial dates and even if she goes through with what's necessary to get a trial date, then take as much time as you need to make a decision that is best for you and your s.

I would recommend consulting with an attorney.

She said she had told our s that he would stay one week w me and one w her and she still wants to swap out on Wednesdays.

Why is she discussing these types of things with your s when nothing is established or certain yet? That is not in his best interest and I would let her know that until an agreement is in place, whether court ordered or not, to not discuss these things w/ s.

Of course she still may but just like her filing papers or threatening you or whatever the H else, you have no control over what she does so do your best to remain neutral.

She also tells me her parents are going to be out of town for thanksgiving , which is a lie, there not going anywhere, and that I can have our s all that day w my family. WOW, another kick in the mid section. I know I can't stop her. Anyone w any input ?

Be grateful that you get to spend Thanksgiving w/ your son. This will be my first year w/o them on that day.

[kenva]

Thank you. I am going to bring it up lightly tonight if she talks. I am going to suggest her to have her attorney write something up to take to mine. This I hope will buy me some time. I have a DB coach session on Thur. In our s, I told her a while back that we need to see a co parenting therapist to discuss how we approach him. She's just ready to go. Which, would it be a blessing if we are apart from ea other for her to realize what she is missing? I hope. At home now is really tense.

[kenva]

Last night she said nothing to me as usual. Even after I put our s to bed. I figured it would be the right time to discuss her email but she had her door shut. She text me the other day saying she was staying out tonight. This morning leaving for work, I told her that when she got back from her little thing tonight that the next few days we can iron out things. She just nodded and said ok. I have my coach session tomorrow and I hope it helps. Any input from anyone?

[kenva]

Can anyone tell me how to message another member here?

[kenva]

Just got a text from w to have our son call her before he goes to bed. Yea!! She's out for the night. You think this is having her cake and eating it too?

[MrBond]

This isn't necessarily cake eating. Your W wants to talk to her son. Simple. Let her. You would want the same if you were out and wanted to talk to him.