And So The End Is Near...

[Intact]

Glad to see you drop by, and glad you are doing well. You sound good.

We both made plenty of mistakes but I will never forgive or condone the way in which she reacted to those mistakes.

To me, those are two different things. Forgiveness is a choice.

Perhaps I'm just not a very forgiving person.

Maybe you could be...

Thanks for your post. Perhaps you're right and 'Forgiveness' is something I could work on.

I really don't feel much need to forgive her in all honesty. Her decisions don't haunt me anymore, they don't wake me up at night and it's been a long, long time since I've shed a tear over the decisions she made.

Perhaps one day I will feel the need to forgive - and that is a decision I can make then.

DBing was great for me - I am a better person for this whole process - yes I still need to make improvements - but I am confident I have done so much work on myself - Of course, I wish we could have done the work on our relationship but it just wasn't too be...

[Breakdown]

Thanks for your post. Perhaps you're right and 'Forgiveness' is something I could work on.

I really don't feel much need to forgive her in all honesty.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You may not see that yet, but it really is.

And I don't see it as a singular event, but rather a change in a way of thinking. It bleeds over into patience, understanding, and compassion.

Think about it...not for her, but for you.

[T1000]

Glad to see you drop by, and glad you are doing well. You sound good.

We both made plenty of mistakes but I will never forgive or condone the way in which she reacted to those mistakes.

To me, those are two different things. Forgiveness is a choice.

Perhaps I'm just not a very forgiving person.

Maybe you could be...

Thanks for your post. Perhaps you're right and 'Forgiveness' is something I could work on.

I really don't feel much need to forgive her in all honesty. Her decisions don't haunt me anymore, they don't wake me up at night and it's been a long, long time since I've shed a tear over the decisions she made.

Perhaps one day I will feel the need to forgive - and that is a decision I can make then.

DBing was great for me - I am a better person for this whole process - yes I still need to make improvements - but I am confident I have done so much work on myself - Of course, I wish we could have done the work on our relationship but it just wasn't too be...

I can relate to this.
Right now forgiving my W isn't really on my radar. I don't hold any major ill feeling towards her.
I will probably completely forgive in time. She ran off with OM2 a month ago while saying she was working on our M.
Forgiving people is worth it for yourself, I also believe there needs to be a certain amount of time in between the act and the forgiveness else your accepting the behaviour as if it's OK.

Like most things on here it takes time and patience. When it's time and I want it, then it can happen.

[AnotherStander]

Forgiveness is really just letting go. It's saying "you hurt me, but I'm not going to dwell on it or blame you for it anymore". It doesn't mean forgetting, MWD makes that point in DR. It also doesn't mean some big speech needs to be made. It's a state of mind, you can forgive someone without ever saying a word to them. This is often the case with WAS's, the LBS doesn't need to verbally forgive them because the WAS doesn't think they wronged the LBS anyway.

[T1000]

Forgiveness is really just letting go. It's saying "you hurt me, but I'm not going to dwell on it or blame you for it anymore". It doesn't mean forgetting, MWD makes that point in DR. It also doesn't mean some big speech needs to be made. It's a state of mind, you can forgive someone without ever saying a word to them. This is often the case with WAS's, the LBS doesn't need to verbally forgive them because the WAS doesn't think they wronged the LBS anyway.

Not thought of it that way. So that's a no to the plane writing "I forgive you" in the sky?

Sometimes I find it crazy how much goes on behind the scenes for a LBS and the WAS literally has zero idea. A bit like the LBS has no idea what is happening for the WAS before BD.

[jp787]

Intact, Hope your doing well. I will post more when I get off moderation.

[Intact]

Thanks Jp - doing very well thank you. Enjoying my life and I feel blessed every minute I get too be with my Son.

AS - You may be right - in that case I suppose I have "forgiven" her. I don't dwell on what happened anymore and I don't really blame her - I blame us both.