Childhood living is easy to do, The things you wanted I bought them for you. Graceless lady, you know who I am, You know I can't let you slide through my hands.
Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away.
I watched you suffer a dull aching pain, Now you've decided to show me the same. But no sweeping exits or offstage lines, Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind.
Wild horses couldn't drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie, I have my freedom, but I don't have much time. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried, Let's do some living after we die.
Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day.
Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day.
The good:
W is still in our home, doesn't talk about leaving or D. No fighting or spewing. No OM. (it seems) No big spending. Her depression lifts at times. Our families still know nothing about our sitch. My personal life outside the M is going fine. W tells me about her times out with friends/FB interactions SHE'S planning a resort getaway for our 30th Anniversary.
The not so good:
W is still cool and indifferent. W is still in the guest bed. Physical contact is pretty much zilch. I don't know how long I can hold out.
Tonight W went out for drinks with GF after work today. Came home and told me all about it. How GF met up with a guy friend who wishes he could be her BF. (I've heard this one before... it seems all her man friends wish they could have her, but none are good enough for her) Also how her X-BF is stalking her, trying to get back together. How he asks for hugs and she tells him no. (Note to self: DON'T ask for hugs!)
My company has been expanding and my department getting new equipment and a complete makeover. It's all very exciting!
The TKD class I've been instructing at my work got extended for two more weeks. My students are loving it and thank me after every class. This class has caused quite a stir, and REALLY helped me feel great about myself.
Thank you to all my fellow DB'ers who have helped me to hold back the wild horses this long!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Oh FY, I was just listening to this song the other day, thinking about everything. It's a great song
Keep looking at the positives, keep focusing on you. I noticed your posituves list is much bigger than the negatives - yeah!!! That's great news about your TKD class! You are building that life outside of your M, you have been great at GAL!
Hmmm, I think the term is "a man only a fool would leave"...
I believe that while your W may act indifferent, deep down she's not. And even if it doesn't seem like it, she's watching you taking everything in. I can attest to this.
Those wild horses are no match for us!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
The list of positives is bigger than the negative list, so that is good! Unbelievable your family doesn't know! Were you not physically clingy in public before MLC?
So good to hear the class is going well! And that it is having a great effect on how you feel about FY!!!
As far as how long you will hold out? Just for today is all you have to do. That's what I would tell myself last year. I can make it today.
Thanks for your comments on my thread. It always means SO much!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I believe that while your W may act indifferent, deep down she's not. And even if it doesn't seem like it, she's watching you taking everything in. I can attest to this.
Thanks TVS, I've sometimes thought the same. How could they not? Especially when they are still in the M home with us.
Cadet: Thinking that this could take many more years DOES NOT help me. I will continue to hope for a quick turnaround, not only because it could happen, but because it's the only way I can do this. If things don't turn around this year, I'll deal with it then.
It seems if I use a powerful enough microscope, there is some positive movement. Thanks to all who pointed out our positives out weigh the negatives. I do consider myself one of the lucky ones on this board, if there is such a thing.
Yes, I am enjoying the scenery along the way... we only have so many days on this earth... it's up to us to figure a way to enjoy each one!
Originally Posted By: RH
Were you not physically clingy in public before MLC?
We would sometimes hold hands or walk together arm in arm. Post MLC she made a point to separate herself from me with space while out together. Recently that space has begun to shrink... sometimes.
Mtn: Thanks for the vote of confidence!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I believe that while your W may act indifferent, deep down she's not. And even if it doesn't seem like it, she's watching you taking everything in. I can attest to this.
Oh, she is watching you, Fy, count on it. She is taking it all in, trying to figure herself out. Thinking about how she said she wants out of the relationship, but, that hasnt made her happy.
Cadet: Thinking that this could take many more years DOES NOT help me. I will continue to hope for a quick turnaround, not only because it could happen, but because it's the only way I can do this. If things don't turn around this year, I'll deal with it then.
Fy, trust me, while every sitch has some commonalities to it, they are all different. How could they not be? Every person and every crisis is different. It absolutely can happen quickly. There is always hope for that.
I think you have the right mindset. You do it until you cannot anymore. Today you can.
It seems if I use a powerful enough microscope, there is some positive movement. Thanks to all who pointed out our positives out weigh the negatives. I do consider myself one of the lucky ones on this board, if there is such a thing.
There are many positives. Some very big ones. And yes, relatively speaking, you are one of the lucky ones.
Yes, I am enjoying the scenery along the way... we only have so many days on this earth... it's up to us to figure a way to enjoy each one!
True dat, Fy, Life should be lived and enjoyed to the fullest. Laugh, love, make memories. Try new things. All of it so important.
Great song, and pretty appropriate for the LBS! I'm glad you have such a positive outlook, FY, grateful for the good things in your life. PMA is the way to go!
I wanted to ask you about one of your "not so goods," the lack of physical contact.
I think both our DB coaches suggested trying a bit of casual touching. I was wondering if you'd tried this and your W's response.
In the 2 weeks since my DB session, I've tried touching my H on the arm or back every 2 or 3 days. He touched my arm back 3 times, touched my arm once without me initiating it once, said "heeeyyyy" disapprovingly once, and ignored the other attempts. Not such stellar results. Did you do better?
I'm sorry that you feel you don't know how long you can hold out, FY. Sometimes I think I can hold out until this time next year. Several times tonight I had to try to hold out for the next 10 minutes. I like ReachingHigher's reminder that we really only need to hold out for the rest of today.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I wanted to ask you about one of your "not so goods," the lack of physical contact.
I think both our DB coaches suggested trying a bit of casual touching. I was wondering if you'd tried this and your W's response.
In the 2 weeks since my DB session, I've tried touching my H on the arm or back every 2 or 3 days. He touched my arm back 3 times, touched my arm once without me initiating it once, said "heeeyyyy" disapprovingly once, and ignored the other attempts. Not such stellar results. Did you do better?
No, I did not do any better. I touched her shoulder twice with no response. Tickled her foot once and she pulled it away and kinda smiled. And I put my hand on the middle of her back once and she arched forward ever so slightly. No comments from either of us.
I do know this: we test/try, but if the response is not favorable we need to back off/give space.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
