How long will she hate me!!

[jaytee35]

Hi, As most of you know I am already divorced but like everyone else on here I still love my ex-wife and want nothing more to be with her again.

My question is. Is there anyone on here that has had a WAS go months and months and months without contacting them and if so, did they ever contact you?

It seems the majority of people have a common denominator in the fact that they have kids or some sort of ties that keep them in contact. My ex-wife and I have absolutely no reason to contact each other at this point. Is it realistic for me to think she will ever come around and initiate conversation. The toughest part of all of this is the fact that she still wont even give me the time of day to show changes I have made in my life

[~ kd ~]

There are some who have Xs who have not contacted them, years and years after BD / D. And some Xs... after years and years... DO make contact again...

I don't think that people who have non-returning Xs have it any "better" to be in contact. There's certainly pros and cons to both.

The only thing you can expect is that she will keep doing what she is doing...

until... she does something different... which could be never...

IF she does... your changes will shine through, now doubt.

Keep working on you!

[4311]

jaytee35, I hear you and understand where you are coming from. It is instinct for one to think about the "how". "How" will there be a potential for reconciliation if we never see or speak to each other. "How" will they see all the changes I've made. How, how, how...While it may not be logical you don't need direct contact to trigger a potential reconciliation. As I've mentioned in my situation, my ex reconnected with me after almost 20 years and living in a another country - and ended up marrying me. At the same time, we are now divorced, living a couple hundred feet apart, and seemingly have no reason to ever get back together again.

It's not about time or space. Kaffe, as usual, has it correct. You need to do keep working on yourself, for yourself. If you do it for any other reason it won't last.

You'll either bump into her, or someone else, in either case, your work on you will be evident.

[KEE]

Jaytee35,
I do not have children with my ex either. He remained in contact after his divorce and I was really GALing, in grad school, ready to graduate and he came back. Of course 4 years later he left again and I am NC this time.
Kee