The Show Must Go On

[JuneReN]

BF, really is key not to try and guess what is going on in H's head or behind the emails. I assumed after reading letter that I "found' that H really wanted xgf back, that she had been the one staying over etc etc and none of that was true. I always take texts and emails as is, but ask for clarification if not clear in wording.

[Limbowife]

Hi Bright!! How is your Saturday going??? It is storming and rainy here and very hot. I have plenty to do but I also foresee a nap in my future.

I would be covered in bruises from your class. I am not the most graceful person. Have fun laying by the pool and and hanging out on the beach. I will be with you in spirit!!

I am never sure about the texts I send. I think you are doing a great job the way you are handling it. I really see this progression as small baby steps forward in a good way for you. I am standing right behind you urging you forward on this journey. It is certainly a rough road at times. Hang in there. I am so proud of the progress you are making. I had told Linda to go buy herself a treat and I want you to do the same. Shoot I may even do it myself.

Enjoy your day my friend

[mizjjd]

Hey Bright Future!

I saw your post on LindaM's thread about you not getting many responses and it made me curious.

I think its just the curse of the newcomer's forum. For newcomers there are 9740 threads vs only 3516 for MLC. So maybe its easier to get lost in the shuffle while in newcomers?

IDK, but don't take it too personally

Take care

[RosaLinda]

Ruby this is very interesting to me: "I assumed after reading letter that I "found' that H really wanted xgf back, that she had been the one staying over etc etc and none of that was true." I'm a great one for jumping to conclusions too. For example, I assumed that the 2 or 3 hours my H spends on skype with the Tramp every day consists of interesting discussions about current affairs, food, culture, etc, and of course, declarations of undying love and plans for their future life together. 

Well I just got home (I DID get myself a treat Limbo thanks ) and H probably didn't hear me drive up, he usually closes his door when they speak (probably so I won't wander in again, RT flipped out like a crazy woman the two times she actually saw me on the computer video screen). I can hear them, and she is defintely giving him a lesson in speaking Russian. What......I am SO SO surprised!!! No wonder he says talking to her gives him a headache!

I'm glad I saved you the money for that flirty text e-book Bright. It IS a good book, just not for right now. If and when it is appropriate for us to pursue our Hs a bit, I'll take detailed notes and give them to you. 

You write nearly perfect English. But your journal would be for just you. No one else would see any spelling or gramatical errors so you COULD concentrate on content. I'm going to try it!

I'm sorry you don't get a lot of responses. You post on many threads and have many friends who love you Bright. How could anyone think a woman who takes pole dancing lessons for exercise is boring?! 

But maybe J is right and more people would answer on MLC than Newcomers? You could try starting your next thread there. Cadet was the one who advised me to switch over. You are definitely not a newcomer anymore!

[BrightFuture]

Ruby, Limbo, mizjjd, Linda, thank you for your replies.

Well, just got a major setback… Just found out that H signed up on a dating website. Don’t ask me how I know. I would probably get a 2x4 for that.
Yesterday I replied to his e-mail about the business, but inserted a couple of sentences: “I’m happy that you were able to set everything up” and “Hope you have a great weekend” at the end. Was it too much? Did he think that I was pursuing again and decided to move further away by signing up on the dating site? IDK anymore… I was getting so many encouraging responses that I was making some progress… I guess not…

[uRworthy]

Hi, B, thought I'd drop by as we have mutual friends.

Forgive me as I didnt read through your whole sitch.

Dont know how you found out about dating site, but, I will tell you that finding out stuff like that doesnt serve you well right now.

And neither does overanalying or worrying about your interactions with him.

B, it is best to continue moving forward with your life. Keep GAL, looking within, making any necessary changes.

Leave him to live his life, ya know?

[BrightFuture]

uR, thank you for checking up on me. I always learn a lot from your posts to other people. I know it is consensus on this board that snooping on WAS is not a good thing and it doesn’t serve LBS well. I’ve learnt some valuable things thru snooping though. It hurt at first, but then I found out that it was making me stronger and more determined to move forward with my life. IDK, I need to think more about these feelings.

I agree with you that I need to leave him to live his life, and this is what I’ve been doing pretty much since BD, well, with a couple of setbacks according to DB principles. In my recent replies to him I actually was not thinking much about what to write. It comes almost naturally these days. I thought I was making good progress. But, my findings today made me think again about what I did wrong to push him away. The initial shock wore away pretty quick though, and I’m back to the calm state of mind now.

[Limbowife]

Hey Bright, I really don't think that him joining a dating site has anything to do with your emails back and forth. Please don't take this wrong because I would never hurt your feelings but I think it all has to do with the fact that maybe like my H he is just an idiot. He did it because HE wanted to. Don't you dare carry any guilt over him being selfish and all wrapped up in HIM.

I won't comment on snooping. I know it is stupid and it does hurt me but since my H lies all the times i have had to do some myself and found out some stuff I needed. Bad Limbo I know.

Have a good and peaceful night.

[BrightFuture]

Linda, thank you for cheering me up and commenting on my English. And thank for offering me the notes from the texting book.

The information you found out about your H Skyping is definitely interesting. I bet you were surprised to hear that they actually doing the language exchange. I guess there is nothing else left to talk about, hehe.

I don’t know if I should move to MLC forum. I’m still in doubt if my H has MLC or not. He doesn’t exhibit the crazy behavior and doesn’t do some things that I read about on other threads. His behavior is actually very consistent with the person who just fell out of love and got tired of R problems. There might be some elements of MLC. Actually, I would say there were some elements of MLC, but I don’t think I see them anymore.

[RosaLinda]

well Bright, my H is also signed up with a dating site, but as far as I know has not used it to date anyone. I know because of the charge on the credit card. He told me that he likes to browse dating sites, including that sexy Russian site advertised on TV, without signing up, grrr. I would not read too much into it, just more MLC craziness. You should especially not blame yourself for sending a cordial email. I know these MLCers are nuts, but "I hope you have a nice weekend" would NOT throw him over the edge.

Believe me, I was SO surprised to hear RT giving my H a Russian language lesson. I always wondered what they have to talk about for hours every day. Now I know that they do more than just tell each other how much they love each other LOL! Of course, for all I know she could have been teaching him how to say "I love you darling RT and promise to divorce Linda" LOL!

There is nothing wrong with you staying with the newcomers forum, Bright, if you aren't exactly sure if your H is in MLC.

PS I have snooped too, and always swear I won't do it anymore as the things I learn always break my heart. But sometimes a person is so in the dark and just needs to have a little bit of light on the situation.