Court tomorrow. Very nervous. She is out for blood. Lots of $ at stake. This has been crazy litigious. Basically I collapsed after her affair and lost my job through the trauma and is after my severance and spousal support. We make about the same money...this is just not right. She gets a free BMW out of it, you'd think that would be enough. It will be very contentious tomorrow but I cAnnot accept the fact she deserves a better lifestyle than I do. She feels she should be able to maintain her previous lifestyle while I scrape by...if that. I would need to sell my house. She lost the custody battle 6 months ago so now she must feel she needs to win. It is always about money for her and being ahead. Is equity not good enough? That's all I want. Her lawyer is using all the same tactics of attack and accusations. Brutal. Didn't work for them last time so fingers crossed. Nervous as hell. Don't even want to see ex. She is not a good person right now. Wtf happened to her? She pretended happy marriage, gets caught cheating and then just attacks and makes me evil. Then expects the moon. Sense of entitlement is bizarre. Family Law permits these abuses.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I've been there, its not easy. Try to stay neutral. Let your lawyer guide you. All you can do is speak your truth and whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen.
Thanks pal. Nothing got settled except that divorce can be final in a months time. No financials and other things settled. They came unprepared with documentation, disclosure etc. We are only about $30k apart now. This should have been done...they would not settle yet they did not have proof and we did. So stupid and waste of time and money. My hands were tied. I say I owe her $10k in equalization and they say $40k, yet they had no proof and would not settle....Not even in the middle. New financial statements next week being presented. She would not let me have the kids for an over night the week of Christmas even though I offered New Years. She was quite nasty about it and snapped at me. The anger is clear...just still don't know the reason. She cheats and steals and she is the angry one. Go figure.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
She was quite nasty about it and snapped at me. The anger is clear...just still don't know the reason. She cheats and steals and she is the angry one. Go figure.
Have you figured it out yet, FM? If not, you know why you haven't figured it out
Knowing why is not important to knowing how to deal with it. I've been where you are. Answer the second question first and it'll make more sense.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I'm sure she paints you to be the devil incarnate. Is that true?
If you knew why, would it matter? Or would it all have still happened just like it is/was?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Yes she does certainly. Still confounding. I suppose to save face. Make me the bad guy. Exercise in control. Nothing accomplished but spending tens of thousands in senseless litigation. Kids money in the end. Can't stop it. Irrational.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Thanks Ruby. So true. That makes sense. Needed that reminder. I suppose my anger is at all the senseless losses too....family, friends, 50% of kids time, time, being sad and distraught for so long, job, the home I worked so hard and long on, being used, sanity etc etc etc . Over $200k in financial losses. Working hard to recover that with new job and penny pinching. I do need a treat when this is over though. Maybe some new clothes and shoes...it's been a while. Trip with the girls at some point is a must. Ya, we're both pissed. Sadness still hits me daily. I miss you. How are you?????
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I am good!! I hear ya about the financials. I'll be about 25000 myself after school this year and that is before any divorce lol..
Finished one semester one left. Kids are good, H seems to slowly be making his way, but I'll let him deal with that. You can only keep your balance on that fence for so long.
