He reached out his hand to me and when I reached out to take it, he picked up the remote control and tried to shake my hand with it instead of touching me with his skIn.
That was crappy and I bet it hurt your feelings. I know I hate the feeling of "disconnect", and the feeling of being shunned.
What a jerk Deep breathing honey, let it roll off your back.
And next time, if you're up to it, grab the rubbing alcohol and wipe down the remote so he doesn't get any cooties.
Keep thinking about Merry Old England.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
What a jerk! That was mean, and the smirk is just cruel on top of it.
I hope this is the fuel you need to stoke the GAL engine that is all about you. You get out there and put you first... You deserve some TLC. One of my old pals here way back when was (and still is) a huge proponent of amping up the self care. Have you read any supportive authors like Marianne Williamson or Cheryl Richardson? Cheryl has some dynamite books on the topic, with lots of help getting started. You might find reading that sort of stuff to prop you up.
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Linda, when I read your sitch versus mine, I think that men in MLC are much more nastier than women. I feel for you. I think your up-coming trip will be great. I've visited England several times, and it is a great place to visit. Enjoy.
Hi Linda! Thanks. For stopping by and checking on me. It means so much.
Now I am afraid I am going to have to come and kick your H butt for doing that to you. What a nasty thing to do. Sometimes you just want to kick them...
I am so excited for your trip. You so deserve this. In the meantime be good to you and go pick up a little something just for you. Maybe a book or a good smelling candle..or both!
Keep your chin up my good friend and know that you are in my prayers.
Thanks for your support. It was such a small thing compared to the lies and unfaithfulness. I don't know why I let it bother me so much. The strange thing is I didn't have any expectations, not even of him answering me when I said good night. After a good night's sleep I think it was a good sign that I felt anger towards him instead of hurt, and that he could see my disgust and anger. Baby steps towards a better PMA that belongs only to me.�I'll check out those authors Betsey, thanks.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Linda, I know it is painful, and my h was the same - it was as if I had a contagious disease, potentially fatal to anyone within 5 feet of me. [When we met in February this year he kissed me!!!!!!! nearly fell over]
Now I wish I had just laughed at it. I mean really, shake hands with a remote. Come on, it is hilarious, as well as hurtful.
Another friend and I who have have lived through all of this, both agree we wished we had laughed at our xh's idiotic behaviour more. It would have done us good, and night not have hurt them
Ah, Bea, eventually, that is what I often did. Just laughed.
Oh and made clothes for his cell phone and invite it to Thanksgiving dinner and decorated his chair. LOL!
He still tells me he misses that about me. Poor fool still doesnt realize the connection. LOL!
One time, he did something hurtful like that Linda, cant remember what exactly and I turned around to face him. He looked at me, realized what he did and wasnt sure what my reaction was going to be.
I shook my head and laughed hard, while leaving the room. And there he stood, I would guess, feeling foolish.
Yes, anger is better than feeling hurt. When you get to thinking how crazy he is and you dont want to catch it, then you are on your way, my friend.
Hi Linda, one thing about all these mean things they do and say, eventually it catches up with them, once they start remembering some of them.
The memory of them has started fading for me, I have to work at dredging a lot of them up now, or look back in my journal or posts here, and I do have an excellent memory (much to W's consternation sometimes).
Now if I could just find a cure for these koodies and bubonic plague I am infected with, THEN all would be well!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I would like to see you get into the mindset that he is lucky you are being gracious enough to let him live there.
Yes, yes and YES!
The turkey. I'd like to box his ears. And then hit him with the remote. Jeez.
You were also asking if you should contact him when you arrive in England or during your trip? Put my vote in the absolutely not column. Not even to rub it in - you would be rubbing it in more if you don't contact him because you are having too swell of a time to think about him. Even better if his visa does not come through and he's still on that couch at home fondling the remote. Now that is something to smile about!
A little anger is natural (in fact, lots of anger) and can be used to propel you forward. I am in a bit of a rage phase which is probably not healthy. But a little anger is good; it helps you keep your distance.
Deep breathing honey, let it roll off your back. 
