He's the confused one...

[BRNR]

Hi All!

Just wanted to say Hi and Happy Easter to everyone...yeah, I know I am late. LOL!

So no updates on my sitch...all is the same from a couple of months ago. Haven't seen H since December...did have to draw a boundry about a month ago with him "stopping by" MY house uninvited and unanounced. Now I can't show up at wherever the heck he is living, can I? LOL.

All is good. Winter weather has finally gone bye bye and the boys and I are doing great. Golf Mom and Portia, I was thinking of you two today...and AJM and Snodderly. I popped in and didn't see much active with you two, I hope to hear how you are.

Gotta go....Living my life and still thinking it is pretty darn good.

[job]

Well look who the Easter Bunny brought to our door a bit late!

I'm sorry to read that your h hasn't been around since December, but you had to do something to stop the unexpected visits.

Maybe the winter weather has gone bye bye for you, but we had a hard frost last week and Mother Nature doesn't want to allow spring to come into full bloom here just yet. I can't wait for warmer weather.

I'm glad you are living your life to the fullest and having a good time too. Don't be a stranger...come back to visit again real soon. We miss you!

BTW, I did change my name from "Snodderly", just in case you didn't know who was posting to you.

[AJM]

Hey BRNR, Happy Easter!!!

Very nice of you to drop by.

I haven't been posting as much lately. Not too much to contribute that others aren't doing. I still read from time to time, but have been crazy busy. I took on a new job and a new role at church that are adding to my time away. Still in school (personal goal to get a degree; almost done after 2+ years of working at it) and spending time with my son and my GF. Oh, and getting the house ready for sale next year. These plants grow like crazy! And just because I didn't have enough to do, and because my son is almost ready to get his license, I bought a high-mileage car that needs a some "care" to make it more road-worthy. I took a break from a brake job and decided to have a read.

Glad things are getting better and you're enjoying life!

Take care,

AJ

[Portia]

B,

How awesome to see your recent post!! Thank you for thinking of me.

How fast the time has gone, hasn't it? Nothing really new in my sitch either (I'll have to open another thread, my last one is locked) but, I am generally OK with it. So many other things to worry about.

Do stop by again B - always great to hear how you are doing. May awesome things come your way!

[BRNR]

Portia, AJ, Job... as always, thank you for stopping by and updating. It is always nice to hear how people are doing.

I had court yesterday regarding visitation and support issues. It was hilarious... H represented himself, yelled the whole time, called my attorney a liar and said he shouldn't be able to practice law, said that I was a bad mom and never cared for the kids since they were born, questioned the judge on how was I able to afford an attorney when he can barely make ends meet (yeah right), and lied, lied, lied. H has lost at least 50 lbs if not more since he left me, looks almost sickly and dirty, and was dressed in a crazy outfit to court...a man who wears a shirt and tie daily for work was dressed in a sweater, khakis, and these god awful tan shoes.

I just had to update that while I haven't seen or talked to H in months, clearly he is still riding the train to fairy land and seems to still be in his replay stages.

I feel sorry for him...if he does ever get off the ride, he has a lot to overcome.

But all is good with me, i felt that our hearing was fair. The only outcome that I didn't agree with, but accepted rather quickly (I knew it was coming) was the kids being forced to start visitations with their Dad again. They don't want to, but I am trying to be encouraging and have them think positively. It was a hard convo with both boys who are almost 11 and 15 now, but the night was pretty quiet after they accepted it.

Having a good day this morning, both boys dragged a little and had some smart remarks about "not having a good day" when I sent them off to school, but I am sure they will be fine.

So, 18 months post bomb drop, and I can't complain. I thought that I would never be able to "live" when this all started. I have moments where I think of the old H and miss him, but that man is no where to be found now, and I have accepted that he will never come back.

Gotta get back to work. Have a great day everyone.

[job]

BRNR,
I'm sorry you had to witness his behavior yesterday...but at least the judge and your lawyer got to see just how far gone he is right now. I'm sure you looked wonderful and deserve the award of the year for being cool, calm and collected.

That's one more item to cross off your list of things that had to be taken care. I realize it's not how you wanted it to play out, but maybe, in time, things will get better for all of you.

I hope today is a better day for you and your children.

[BRNR]

Thanks job...

I'm sure you looked wonderful and deserve the award of the year for being cool, calm and collected.

I did look fabulous...even my attorney thought so. And as far as calm, cool, and collected....I sure was and was so proud of myself for it too. Oh, and au natural to boot (no meds).

[BRNR]

I had to share my day from yesterday...

I sent H an email in regards to not making our kids carrier pigeons...he responded in a true MLC fashion... not making any sense, bitter, angry, calling me names, and what not, but you want to know what made me laugh.... this line out of his last email...

"in order for me to complete my taxes I need to have a copy of house tax statement along with the tax statement for the childcare. If you would please provide these to me it would be appreciated. Thanks."


Now, funny thing is...it's May 2nd, tax day is over. He moved out in 2012 (and we are talking 2013 tax year), he decided not to proceed with divorce proceedings which would clearly handle who got to claim a house, that mind you he doesn't want the house, and doesn't want to pay for (no spousal support has been paid and he is in arrears $6K), and you want to claim the children, haha, and the children, he also didn't provide for as he avoided child support too and they didn't catch up to him until February 2014 (which by the way, he is currently $5K in arrears on).

So, let me see, you want me to give you information, ONE, sounds like someone needs MY help, and TWO basically give you $$$ when you owe me $11K dollars. Yeah, good luck with that. The lies he tells everyone, my god, he really does believe.

As I said in my title...he's the confused one!!!!

Oh, and by the way, I stayed classy and cool throughout and then finally forwarded the email to my attorney (which H can't figure out how I can afford him when he can't afford one-he said this in court Tuesday).

LOL. Sounds like a whole 'lotta stuff that is NOT my problem.

On a good note everyone is having a great morning today and this weekend is supposed to be beautiful!!!

[job]

You sound awesome! Funny how they remember us when they need something. It's interesting that he thinks he can claim the kids when he's not been paying child support and the kids are living w/you. That's some real good thinking there! LOL!

I think you did the right thing by forwarding his request on to your lawyer. Let him/her deal w/him.

Enjoy your weekend!

[BRNR]

Thanks Job! I am awesome, on all counts.

So, I've been trying to figure out something about me. Is it normal to see everything these (speculated) MLC'ers do as funny? I don't mean to think funniness as a lot of what goes on has serious consequences...ah whatever. Having a moment thinking too much. LOL.

I had a little down time so I figured I would catch up on the latest news. I see a lot of unusual monikers, and it breaks my heart that there are so many new "names".

I often reflect where I was at bomb drop and now. I can't see it when I look in the mirror, but when I go back and reflect on some of my journaling....man, what a difference.

Comment about my MLC'er...I am glad I got a chance to see where he is on that journey of his....still on the wheel. heck, even his emails are starting to sound the same, and my two friends I have confided in say, "Man, isn't this the same stuff he has said before" LOL. I laugh.

New business. I have been casually dating here and there. No relationships, just fun. I had met a man that I liked, but then he started showing some narcisistic tendencies, and I just stopped hanging around and talking to him. Well, I got a surprise yesterday...he texted me...but all nice, asked me how me and my sons were and said that he thinks about me a lot and if I ever need anything he would always be there for me. I responded with a couple of short texts, and it ended.

I guess, the lesson I learned from this was how I detached myself, (granted, not much to detach from my friend here...we've only known each other for about a year now), but how things could be good again. It put a smile on my face for many reasons. I guess I had an impact on him and it was nice to know that even with a simple text he showed he cared. I don't know. I guess the moment has me seeing good and I giving me warm and fuzzy feelings about life.