Hey Lan, I came in here after quite some time and saw you posting. I guess I dont have to explain or say anything about how I feel to find you here. Stay strong xxx K
After all the work I put in over time and I find myself here today. To say I’m sad is an understatement, but you can’t force some one to love you as I have found out. All you can do is make your changes and they will observe and make a decision, mine chose not to stay (while kidding me on that she wanted to).
So I it’s the big D for me and this is not too far off now.
Thanks for looking me up and you can chat with me any time.
W and her solicitors have filed the relevant paperwork at court. The decree nisi (intention to dissolve the marriage) will be read out in court in 2 weeks time. The decree absolute ,the final divorce can be applied for 6 weeks after that, so we have 8 weeks to finalise financial and custody matters through mediation and we will be finally Divorced. Oh W solicitors did advise me it was a criminal offense to access someone’s computer without their permission, ok it was a wrong thing to do, but it did confirm to me that divorce is the right thing to do, otherwise I would still be holding out hope for that last minute miracle.
I have mixes feelings, I know this has to be done and should have been done a long time ago (DB has probably helped me prolong thing by 4 -5 years) but it feels like my heart has been ripped out and thrown on the floor and probably stomped on a few times. Anyhow, give me a few minutes then I’ll pick it up, put it back, and get ready to start a new chapter.
W and her solicitors have filed the relevant paperwork at court. The decree nisi (intention to dissolve the marriage) will be read out in court in 2 weeks time. The decree absolute ,the final divorce can be applied for 6 weeks after that, so we have 8 weeks to finalise financial and custody matters
This should read:- W and her solicitors have filed the relevant paperwork at court. The decree nisi (intention to dissolve the marriage) we will be given at date in 2 weeks when it will be read out in court .
So the overall time scales for divorce could be a bit longer than 8 weeks.
The subject of church is very topical at the moment (see the thread of RockJC) so I thought I’d share with you my church experience.
This weeks Church service was dedicated to the children and was called “Back to School Sunday” where all of the children who have moved up to senior school (year 7) would attend church in their new school uniforms and the service would centre around them.
Earlier in the week I had told D12 that I wouldn’t attend as that would mean sitting with W and I didn’t particularly want to do that. However after seeing the upset look on her face I decided that I would attend as I would have attend such events in the future as a divorced parent and I couldn't let W’s actions dictate my future.
In parallel to this I received this text from W.
W: Regarding Sunday can we go to Church in one car so D12 doesn’t feel she has to choose between us and also show her as parents we can be there together for her?.
Me: OK
As things happened W’s changed plans and we eventually went to church in separate cars, D12 traveling with W.
In church I sat next to W but not talking. However as part of the church service members of the congregation offer the peace to each other, we offer our hand to shake and say “Peace be with you”. At this point I offered my hand to W and she ignored it, I thought she may have not seen it so I offered again she ignored it again but this time she turned her back on me. For the rest of the service she angled herself so her back was towards me.
I mean I know we are not getting on and are getting a D but it doesn’t take too much to do a small hand shake in the house of the lord, and I thought the text earlier in the week was leading us that way. Well maybe not
Anyway I feel a little bit hurt and upset(rejected even) but I’ll get over it and press on.
I've read through your newest posts Lanzo. Again, sorry to find you here and involved in D.
It still stuns me to see the behavior people think is acceptable to treat their spouses so badly, let alone their children. (i.e., your W would have taken the hand of a stranger in church!...but not her spouse) It just breaks my heart. I can only believe that their current actions will come around to bite them in the a** in the future at some point.
I also believe in doing the right thing for myself and my inner moral compass, regardless of their behavior. It's the only thing I can control and also always feel good about myself.
Keep plugging on Lanzo. I'm with you in spirit.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
