Thanks to Job and Heather for your posts on my last thread. I had to sit back for quite some time before the desire for revenge took a back seat. I had a session with my C and he couldn't believe the anger I expressed. I also wrote an email telling XSO exactly what I thought of him. I still haven't sent it. My C says it would be my way of saying "this is it" - as if his marriage hadn't already said that. However I still feel the need to keep that door ajar, as stupid as that seems in the circumstances. And do I really want to lower myself to his level? Throwing dirt his way would feel like I was letting myself down in some way. But who knows, maybe one day!
On to the new dilemma...
We still do not have a sale on the house. It is getting cold and dark here and I feel that mentally I have moved out. But with no sale there is no money.
My S and BIL have just bought an investment property for rental, I asked if I could have first refusal a few weeks back when we appeared to have a buyer for the house. they have called today to say the sale should complete within the next two weeks.
What do I do. I want to move back closer to my family. to start over. find a job (I haven't had a "proper" job in over 10 years - will any one want me?) Do my own "thing".
However without the money from the house sale I have very limited funds. Certainly not enough to support myself for more than 2-3 months at the outside.
Do I jump at the opportunity and hope for the best.
Will an empty property be as easy to sell? Not doing great at the moment anyway.
What happens if I run out of cash and cant get a job?
What if..?
The other issue is this is what XSO and I had intended to do before the MLC blew in - feels odd doing it on my own - but don't really want to stay here either. Living here was his dream - it is my nightmare now.
Will have to make this decision relatively quickly - they will need to find other tenants if I decide to stay here. And if I leave there is soooo much to do (on my own)
I can talk myself into both situations at present. Not an answer. Any other perspectives out there??
All alone, sorry you find yourself in this situation. Did you have any jobs for the past 10 years? If you did, you can always present it in a nice way in your Resume. Do you have anybody who can help you with your Resume? There are some websites that have the services. I used it once on Monster a few years ago, they did pretty good job. After that, I’ve just been following with the style they suggested.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I have held several part time jobs over the past 10 years, just not exactly career builders...
However, I have followed your advice - Monster was helpful. I have written my CV, had a couple of friends look it over, and sent my first job application!
I have to say, all this thought and planning has certainly taken away the brain space I give to exSO and OW.
Think of it this way. Only the strongest women can survive what we are going through!!! This situation isn't for the faint-hearted. You've already survived a huge life-changing event.
You can do this!!!!!
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
the whole of this week seemed to be taken up with having to come to a decision about should I move, or not?
Decision made. I will be packing up all my worldly goods and moving on in the next couple of weeks - back close to my family. My head has been full of all the good that I hope will come out of this decision. Until today.
Yesterday I started to pack up my summer and "dressy" clothes that I certainly wont need for the next few weeks. I have soooo much more packing to do. Here in lies the problem.
The whole "moving" thing just seems so overwhelming right now. apart from the logistics of organising a van/help and packing. exSO still has so much of his stuff in the house. I keep coming up against memories - good and bad - which seem to be keeping me from doing.
Decisions of what to take and leave, the thought of leaving the home we chose to live out his dream. The friends I have made. All seems far to much to deal with today. But will it be any easier tomorrow? How long can I leave if for until I just have to buck up and get on?
At the beginning of this week I was so excited. Today I want to climb back into bed and wake up when the nightmare is over...
Just googled him, his name didn't come up immediately with anything I recognised. I then googled his new name, and up popped his pic link to a twitter account along with a link to his FB page.
the picture was enough - he isn't who I love and remember...
DON'T!!!! You are hurting yourself on purpose. I almost did the same thing a few days ago. I stopped myself. A picture on facebook isn't going to tell you the truth. It isn't going to help you move forward.
If I had searched him up, you would've been one of the first to call me on it and tell me to stop.
Remember, a picture doesn't tell the whole story. And, you know the whole story, better than his current spouse!!
You're right. He isn't the guy you love and remember right now. He's cuckoo right now. Let him be cuckoo with someone else. You don't need it right now.
Please do something nice for yourself this evening.
Much Love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
