Hanging on to the roller coaster

[job]

CC,
You are going to have ups and downs until you detach a bit more. Maybe you had just a wee bit expectation w/the interaction you were having w/your h. Now, it's back to zero expectations and no more snooping. If you need answers, sit quietly, they will come when you least expect them.

I hope you feel better soon. Enjoy your evening out.

[CallaghanClown]

I miss him terribly today. I just want to scream at him "you're making the biggest mistake of your life". But that would be the biggest mistake of my life.

He needs to go on this journey to give me time to go on my journey. Back to me!

[CallaghanClown]

TRUELY terrible day. Received the call I prayed I'd never never receive. The OW is pregnant. My H swears he's never slept with her but I'm still devastated. I can't trust a word he says, so who knows whether he did or didn't have sex with her. If he didn't she was sleeping with someone else while messing with him!!

I feel utterly lost. I actually believe he didn't sleep with her but I still feel like I've been hit with a brick.

I've told H we need to have a proper chat. When I said it I was calm but ready to tell him I can't keep going and I want a divorce. Now I've calmed down and I know not to have a R talk. I think I'll take this opportunity to get finances and access arrangements sorted. Plus he's thinking of working away. I think I'll take this time to discuss the impact of this.

When I called him he said he'd never slept with her. So I said that we need to chat because its obvious from what he said that he has slept with others or plans to. He said he hasn't and isn't planning too, which I know is a lie. He's been trying to sleep with several women.

I want to tell him he's making a huge mistake......

[job]

CC,
One never know if they are telling the truth or not...but when she's far enough along a paternity test can be done to settle up this nonsense. I suspect he's been sleeping around and yes, w/her as well. Now the wait begins until such time as a test can be done.

I think you are wise in getting your finances and access arrangements sorted out. You can tell him that he's making a huge mistake, but he's not going to listen...he's on his path of destruction for now. The best thing to do is take care of you and your financial situation. You may even want to be physically checked out as well...just my two cents.

I'm sorry to hear this particular news, but it does crop up from time to time on the Forum.

Please take care of yourself.

[LoisB]

CC,

I'm sorry. Take good care of yourself today.

Yuck pretty much sums it up, doesn't it.

We are all here for you.

Heather

[kml]

You received a call that OW was pregnant - who called you?

If OW did - then bear in mind that they HAVE been known to fake pregnancies on occasion.

If someone else told you the gossip - it could be your H's, or it could be someone else's. (I don't, however, believe your H's claim that he never slept with her - take that with a HUGE grain of salt.)

Is OW even claiming this is H's child?

And if it was - would that be a dealbreaker for you? (It would for many people, but not all).

I think your plan to just sit for a bit and get your finances in order is the best idea. Fretting about it won't change what is or isn't true. And the truth will come out eventually.

[sayitaintso]

Tough call to get CC. I myself have been dreading that same information sometime down the road.

48-hour rule in effect. Time and Space.

[CallaghanClown]

It was a friend that called to see if I knew. No she's not saying it is his. She's in a relationship!!! A mutual friend is asking her who the dad is.....

H is obviously hiding more though because he called spewing lots of paranoia mania and says he's taking his Facebook down to protect everyone he loves.

If the baby is his I'm out! I know I could be very wrong but I don't think it is.

Well soon see.

[tigerlily78]

Oh CC, that is really a tough deal. Give yourself some time and space to process, because you don't want to jump to conclusions... but yes, at some point H is going to have to level with you.

Maybe best for you to go through the script in your head about how that conversation will go down. What questions do you need to ask, what assurances can H give you really? Given the new circumstance what does HE plan to do (clearly this shakes up the status quo, right?) Be clear that you are not an idiot and the OW probably isn't either. If it IS his, it is going to be found out eventually, he does himself no favor by lying now, it will only hurt you more down the road if in fact the baby is his.

[LoisB]

CC,

I'd make it clear you don't want to see H for 48 hours or so.

He may try to put his spin on things for you. I could see my H trying desperately to see me so he could swing me over to this way of seeing things.