Here I Am Again!

[Missmygirl]

This past week was spring break for our kids and so we took a trip to the Caribbean. E likes warm weather and one of her past complaints about me was that we didn't take enough vacations, so I purchased tickets for us to travel to Grand Cayman for a week.

The kids had a great time. I had a good time as well, however, it seemed that E was quite disconnected from me throughout the entire week. We still seem to have an emotional gulf between us. Not once were we physical and when I asked her what was wrong, she responded that something that we once had between us had been broken and it still hasn't been restored. So, I guess I am still living with a WAW even though she hasn't left physically.

I still get criticized for mistakes that I may make. My latest offense was not hearing/listening to her. My attention was on my iPad while trying to purchase museum passes that she said she needed. I purchased them using my account. She was trying to tell me that she wanted to purchase them on her account, but I had already executed.

In a normal, healthy relationship, I would probably expect to hear something like, "I appreciate you purchasing the passes for me, but I really wanted to make the purchase under my account". Instead, I got told I have poor listening skills from an irritated spouse who went to bed without saying anything to me afterwards at all.

I am doing my best to figure out how to deliver what she is looking for, but it seems that my successes don't get recognized and my failures get magnified and then used as weapons against me. Maybe my problem is that I am trying too hard.

I am trying to continue this course, but events like this make me want to just walk out the door. Her repeated accusations against me cut me to the core. I feel she is attacking my very character. This is VERY frustrating.