Thanks AJ. There was no R talk last night. I left her to stew and she was asleep by the time I turned in after the football game and some game time for me. Nice quiet day at home with the boys today as she had to go back to work. We will see what the weekend brings. Quoting Stonewall Jackson, "Press on."
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Full day today in New Normal land. Took 3 boys to the YMCA for basketball and racquetball this morning. (S12 had a friend sleep over). Playing racquetball with S10 was an adventure. Found myself just enjoying the silliness and togetherness. Old JF would have made it stressful trying to teach him the rules and how to properly hit it. New JF really didn't worry about anything but sharing time, laughing, and enjoying the moment. Lots of smiles and laughter.
After dealing with a flat tire (fun), spent the rest of the afternoon watching S10 play bball. Sat with W, but had great conversation with others around. Talked with a really good friend that I don't see much anymore. He complimented me on my weight loss and made the comment that I looked like I felt good. It must be that obvious. W got up and went to the bathroom and wound up sitting with some other folks chatting during the next game. I honestly didn't even notice where she was or care. (Big moment for me when I realized that). Had several folks around me I don't normally sit with (W's friends) that I talked with and cheered with during the game. Really good looking woman next to me kept touching my shoulder and leg while we were talking. Didn't mean anything, just the way she is, but it was nice.
Ate with a group after games. Interesting developments there. I was the only dad in the group tonight. I was at the adult table with 5 women. Old JF would have been out of place and let W do all the talking. No more. New JF was charming, listening, laughing and carrying on with everyone. Felt awesome. Our group is a little rowdy and we enjoyed ourselves loudly. I used to feel uncomfortable in those situations, but living in the moment is nice. Being the only man in the group, I got attention from all 5 ladies, including W. Funny moment when W actually admitted to the others that I do all the dishes and the laundry. The looks around the table were priceless.
Today was a great day in enjoying my new bells and whistles that have been developed. I even dealt with the flat tire in a calm, cool manner. ) Not the norm for me). I loved talking, listening and enjoying the company of others. W was engaged in conversation while at the restaurant, laughing and smiling. That are me feel good. No matter how she reacts at home now, it was a good day out. My girl seemed to enjoy herself out today, and for that, I am happy.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Haha... what did we ladies tell you J? A man who does house work is a total catch and tonight your W got to see it in the faces of all those other women.
I am glad you had a good day today with your sons and even W seemed to manage to enjoy herself. Remember, since today you did such a great job showing off the NEW you and getting recognition, tomorrow she may feel extra obliged to take you back down a peg and question it. You know the pattern now though and I have just reminded you, so you WILL be prepared for it. Don't let her knock you down, keep being your better self.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Thanks TL. She had already retreated to her lair when S12's sleepover friends mom came to pick him up. I was the one that welcomed her, rounded up her son, chatted with her while he got all his stuff together. W literally tripped on something jumping up out of the bed to make an appearance. BTW, this lady is super nice, very pretty and got her stuff together. Just another fun scenario for JF 2.0.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
My girl seemed to enjoy herself out today, and for that, I am happy.
This may be the sweetest expression of unconditional love that I've seen in a long time. J, you remind me that good men are still out there AND you remind me of the man I was once married to. He's taken a bit of detour himself, as of late, but I remember when he coulda said the same thing. Thanks for that.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
About that love thing, I'm working on figuring out what that really is. I know that I enjoy seeing my W happy and up and about. When she was in the bed crying over the holidays it broke my heart. I want her to be happy and healthy. If she can feel better for herself first, then maybe she can begin to heal. So many demons in her head kicking her butt right now. I ask God every day to help her find the strength to navigate this storm. I ask for strength to help me grow during this crisis and stay out of her way while supporting her and my boys to the best of my ability.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Truth is, we must change in this crisis. If we don't adapt and overcome, it can destroy us. I know if I was the same person I was 6 months ago, I'd be suicidal or gone. But here I am, taking care of business and really enjoying myself most days. Thanks to amazing people her and my stubborn disposition I haven't quit yet.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
