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I started a new thread because the old one has gotten too long and won't seem to work.
I am still having some anxiety today but doing pretty well. I spoke with a friend and got lots a good encouragement to just keep working on me and moving forward. Still no contact from W. I guess like 3 said, no timeframes. Feeling anxious and wishing this would change. there's nothing I can do.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I understand. Again, we have spoken probably once per week since she left. Normally contact was initiated by me. Db coach asked me to sit tight and allow the changes to take hold now. its only been a few days. Just keep swimming, right?
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I was in the middle of posting to you this morning when your thread got locked. I'll post it in the morning, since I saved it at work.
You have no choice, except to keep swimming. It takes time for your changes to take root.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Lttb thanks. I look forward to your post. M, we speak once by voice per week maybe. She still will not come in the house....I am running all events and other things that are not related to horses. Basically the rest of our life.
Can't. Sleep. Not sure why I feel anxious. Have always been able to "sense " things around me especially between she and I. My mind is probably just playing tricks on me. I just feel like my situation is changing but can't Describe if its good or bad. I know that might sound nuts but its just something that happens. I really. Have to just try to stay in my own head.
I flat out do not understand her decisions to remain separate and silent but I guess I don't have to. I didn't make those decisions she did.
3 told me to not expect anything. I understand it intellectually. In my mind's eye I know that I saw this playing out very differently. That we would live apart but continue to talk and work. That she would reach out but she hasn't really done so. As I write this and the days wear on I guess its just sinking in that I was wrong. I feel disappointed and hurt. The other parts of my life are moving along ok. My kids are getting used to this and my house is peaceful. I don't know what comes next. Maybe my anxiety is growing pains really or possibly me fighting reslly letting her go.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Strange...after I wrote that post some of the anxiety went away. Perhaps just enough to sleep.
I was ready to be the one to walk away from this marriage. She has pushed me away for so long..... I remember what I learned here over the past year and decided to keep trying on my side.
I admit to feeling envious of those who have a chance now. But they've earned it. Sometimes I wonder if we will have a chance. I'm getting ahead of myself and need to try to stay in the moment. Sometimes I dream about what that would be like. Seems to far off to even get to. I wish she'd. Reach out in a friendly way. It too complicated. So many reasons to stay quiet until you have a direction to move one way or another I suppose....well, I am off to try and sleep. Thanks to all for your support. I would be ina much darker place without it.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
You're a good person. Keep doing what you're doing. Definitely rest. Being a daddy is awesome but even more so for your babies.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Paul I too had trouble sleeping early on in my stich. I remember those days. I started taking Melatonim. It worked for me. The more sleep the clearer your thoughts will be. All that anxiety is you worrying about the future the past and everything else. It's hard not to feel that way. But worrying doesn't change things it just hurts you inside. Anxieties are self induced by stinking thinking or irrational thoughts. Practice using a big RED STOP sign when your brain goes into over drive. Try it see what happens
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
thanks Rick! I will do that. having a lot of trouble feeling positive today. Again nt sure why the change in the past 2 days. but it is what it is. I went to class this morning and sweated it out for a while. At least my body is getting "ripped" by all this working out LOL
I have many good friends the reaffirm me. Why am I so hell bent on discussing things or focusing on this one person who does not seem to value me???
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
