There is my old thread, if it works. Still doing better but not doing enough. I finally started exercising a little but am not where I want to be. I feel like I've accomplished things and then look around and everything is the same. I know what needs to be done but don't take action. Crazy. Worked with this with my IC and failed my first task yesterday, lol!! But, am not giving up, will get it done today and be back on track.
Still need to find GAL activities that I enjoy. Once I get back in shape I would like to start running races again. Trying to plan a girls night out. Really feel like I need to find and get back to myself. I lost myself even before the BD which I'm sure played a part. One day at a time, now I'm going to go our for a walk!
J
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I think this really depends on the S. My W tends to send me messages about our boy when something is going on and has asked for the same but I've read many threads where little informative things like that are not received well. Sometimes they are taken as trying to strike up conversation or pursuing. Doesn't make sense to me but if its not really a big deal, I'd let it be.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
That's what I decided on my walk (and talking to sister). I don't think he would receive it poorly, but I'm not sure. But since it isn't really a big deal I don't see any point in telling him, mostly because I'm not sure MY reasoning behind it. I'm sure he will talk to D12 at some point this weekend and she will tell him.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I've decided I drive too much! lol It seems all I do is think about R when I'm driving. Driving myself crazy...no pun intended.
Had a very vivid dream last night. I was having a R talk with my H and a "made up" OW. In the dream I was not happy because she was not a "skank." I even said that to her. She was however very demanding of my H and rude to me. He told me he was moving to KY with her and when I asked about the kids he said he would see them more than he does now. I do know that it is only a dream but it is playing on one of my fears. Craziness.
Told my D15 we could go shopping today. We have a wedding next weekend. His niece. Little worried because it is a wedding and it is "his" family. As far as I know the only one who knows is one sister and her h and kids (I'm close with them). I'm doing okay emotionally so hopefully I will be fine, definitely limit the alcohol intake.
J
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I just read this on kdog's post and realize I'm also very guilty of this.
"I haven't been around this board in a couple of days - staying busy on the weekend helps! I realized I was kind of obsessively checking it (we're talking on the bus to work, throughout the day at work, on the bus home from work, etc.) and doing so meant I was dwelling more on my situation and H, less on myself and making my life the best it can be!"
Am really having a hard time detaching. Although I feel like I'm "doing" more I don't know how much more I'm really doing. Still have no life unless it involves my kids.
Emotionally I have been doing better but I am in knots again today. Most likely because I texted my H last night (this morning) and of course it goes against DB but more importantly I got very little response.
I have been having very vivid dreams the past few nights, one I talked about earlier but the other ones were regarding the safety of H. I woke up from a dream last night and could not get back to sleep so I texted him asking if he was ok. His response was "?????" I told him I had a bad dream. He did not respond back and I eventually fell asleep. When I woke up this morning I sent him another text saying that "I will take your no response as you're fine and I'm crazy :)" and he simply responded "ok here". I texted him again a little bit ago just saying that hope you don't think I'm being strange and explained that I've had some not good, very vivid dreams over the past few nights and I couldn't get back to sleep. Of course he didn't respond so now I'm kicking myself. Should have let it go. Although I know I have every right to be worried about him where he is and he is still my husband, until the fortress he has built around himself weakens a little this is where we are.
It frustrates me that he can just cut off any emotion at all and just stop caring. I wish I could turn off my feelings that easy.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
Regarding Kdog's post I'm am not only obsessively checking this site but doing endless google searches on how to save my marriage, husband moved out, how to get your ex back etc. etc. Looking for more books and websites.
I need to focus on me and becoming a person I LIKE and want to be around. If you don't love yourself it is very difficult for anybody else to love you.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I guess I should add that the reason his walls are coming down is most likely because of DB and other similar programs. I'm sure he expected me to beg, plead, cry, be mad etc etc. Which is what I did initially....but then I stopped. At least around him, and although as stated earlier I'm not where I need to be I am at least better than where I was a month ago...and my house is starting to look much better (one of his big issues and I love it!)
I guess if you are new and reading this just be patient with yourself. You will have good and bad days, you will make mistakes. We all have, just keep the faith. And if you truly work on yourself you will be a happier person in the end, regardless of the outcome! Now if I can remember that daily!
J
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
