Left Behind Newlywed

[sandi2]

How about an update?

[Pluto]

Not much to update on; Haven't communicated with WAW much at all since last week. She sent me a long winded text to basically let me know she signed the paperwork to revoke her access to our joint bank account. I waited a couple hours and simply responded 'thanks'.

Other than that, I've been focused on me and what I need to do moving forward.

I ended up meeting with a lawyer, who I consulted with on some of the burning questions I had around separation agreements and how I can better protect myself, just in case. I'm holding off on the separation agreement for now, but was advised I am free to change the locks on the house - and that it was likely a good measure for both peace of mind as well as to prevent any potential issues should anything go missing (I wouldn't automatically suspect WAW is involved).

So now I'm working on getting a locksmith over to re-key my doors, then find a good dog-walker to help out when I have to work late.

Otherwise, it's been peaceful in the house. Quiet, but peaceful at least. Starting to sleep a bit better and feeling more relaxed, which is refreshing.

I still think about WAW and miss her from time to time, but I know that no contact (as much as possible) is for the best right now.

Thanks for checking in, Sandi! I really appreciate it.

[25yearsmlc]

Pluto

I read your thread....dang...


We're all rooting for you. And for a woman to bolt this early in the marriage, well...

I'm thinking maybe she did you a favor AND OR she's very confused. You dated from when she was quite young, correct?

Anyhow, you're right to focus only on YOU and YOUR LIFE now.

When the anniversary comes up, you will wonder what to do.


If you had children, I'd put a photo of the lives your m created and say something like "it's still worth remembering"

and or, "we did a lot of GOOD things..." and leave it at that.

But you don't and it was an issue for you. So I'd probably leave it alone.

But don't be shocked if she gets lonely and since OM is away, she may reach out.

Like with a text or something.

FWIW, by this time next year, she'll be done with OM. Or he with her.

The only question for you however, is What will YOUR LIFE be like?

[Pluto]

Thanks, mlc! That means a lot.

We did start dating when she was very young... both of us were.

I have thought about how to handle the anniversary, which is essentially next weekend. We don't have kids, and I don't have any means of sending her a card or anything (I don't even know what city she's living in, let alone the address). I thought it might be best not to text her at all on that day and continue with no contact.

I did end up having to text her to let her know a package arrived here for here, and she wrote back apologizing about not coming to get her mail (which she's asked that I just leave in the box for her, so I did) and then said something out of character - "I hope you've been well." Well is not a term she uses ever. Normally, it would be 'good' or she'd just simply ask me outright how I'm doing. I responded letting her know there was no need to apologize and that I was just keeping my word. She told me she appreciated it. I also told her I was doing fine, thanked her for asking and told her I hoped the same for her. She told me she was well too. That word again.

But, as Sandi says... It means nothing!

Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Going to play my weekly hockey game, try to meet up with a friend for dinner, and hopefully get a locksmith lined up.

If/when she is done with OM, I'm not sure I'll be willing to take her back anymore... but that's not a decision I have to worry about today - so I'm going to live my life how I want to. I'm going to learn how to cook better for myself (and others). I'm going to do a better job of cleaning and taking care of the house. I'm going to reconnect with my friends and not alienate them like I have in the past.

Above all else, I'm not going to let this break me. I'm an honorable, trusting guy. My values dictate how I behave and treat others. I'm ambitious and competitive, but I also have a good time and like to think I don't create/keep many enemies.

My life is going to be awesome, and it'll be her loss that she's missing out on it.

[DeeDeelynn52]

Pluto, I'm so proud of how your doing!!
Denise

[labug]

You do sound good, Pluto.

[25yearsmlc]

keep us posted Pluto, you're doing well.

oops...but I MEAN IT! And your w probably does too. No wondering!! She'll know how to reach you if and when the time comes.

Hugs

[sandi2]

My life is going to be awesome, and it'll be her loss that she's missing out on it.

That's the spirit!

[Pluto]

Thanks, everyone!

I really appreciate the kind words and encouragement.

Little update - I just booked a long weekend getaway to go visit some friends and hit up an amusement park, a micro brewery, and some other tourist-y things I'm sure. Pretty excited about that.

Continuing to play hockey, including a few extra pick-up games here and there. I've got some friends coming over to hang out tomorrow night as well, to play some games, hang out, and have some drinks. I'm looking to see whether there's still time to sign up with a softball team.

I've continued to try to be as dark as possible. WAW has reached out a few times here and there for what I thought were pretty inconsequential things that could have waited. Trying to be polite, positive, and quick to let go of the conversation. The other night she messaged me just as I was getting in to bed, which seemed random. Once she told me what she wanted to say (just minor updates about an online game we both play(ed) together), I thanked her and told her I appreciated, then let her know I was just going to bed and wished her a good night.

I've done really well not stressing out about her or wondering what she's up to. I'm doing much better focusing on me and GAL'ing.

[Anders]

Pluto, are you still here and how are things going for you?