KGirl - Movin' On and Out!

[KGirl]

Too many posts on the last thread - link to last posts here:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2443737&page=11

Thank you all for your encouragement on booking this trip I went ahead and booked the flight! I did add the $25 trip insurance option so I can change or cancel (well, no refund, but a credit to use within a year) at any point, just in case. I was agonizing over spending the $25 because it seemed like a waste if I did go on the trip as planned.. but $25 is worth some piece of mind. Now I'm hunting for a good hotel deal. I'm a couponer and am always hunting for good deals.. but this time I might forego the best deal so that I can get a Strip view hotel room I was in Vegas two years ago but things are always changing, and there are some things I saw the first time around (six years ago) that I didn't see the last time. They have this new ferris-wheel type thing, similar to the London Eye, that I'm super excited for. And there's a particular buffet I've been dreaming about over the last two years.

I was asked about what I was scared of. I'm not really afraid that H will change his mind and want to recommit to me and what that means for the trip. I'm more afraid that between now and then he'll decide for sure he wants a D and start moving forward... and that I'll be too emotional or out of sorts to be able to go on the trip (not to mention if there is something legal I'll need to take care of). But, the trip is a month and a half from now. Even if he files it takes a min. of 4 months here to be final. He's been stuck in the same place for almost 6 months now, I don't know that the next 6 weeks will cause him to shift one way or the other. And, I can't really worry about things that may or may not come to pass. What I know right now is that H is not going on any trips with me, and I need a vacation, so I'm going! I am moving in a couple of weeks (hence my thread title!), so who knows what that will change for him. It will certainly help me to move on with my life and start building it without him. In all liklihood he won't even know that I'm going on the trip, unless I post pictures on fbook and someone tells him about them. Since we have no kids and he's in charge of the cat and the house, there's no reason I need to let him know that I'm traveling.

[Pluto]

That sounds great! I'm actually contemplating a beach resort vacation in the next month - and I share some of the same reservations... but also that since W is supposedly moving out sometime in June, I want to make sure she's out and I've had a chance to take stock of the additional household bills (since she currently pays for a portion of them, and I'd have to take them on) - and also that I can secure the house and have the locks changed. There's no way I could relax on vacation knowing she still has access to our house. Right now I can't trust her at all not to clear the place out while I'm gone.

[labug]

I can't really worry about things that may or may not come to pass.

You could and have in the past. This new K chooses not to.

[woundedfool]

Now I'm hunting for a good hotel deal. I'm a couponer and am always hunting for good deals.. but this time I might forego the best deal so that I can get a Strip view hotel room I was in Vegas two years ago but things are always changing, and there are some things I saw the first time around (six years ago) that I didn't see the last time. They have this new ferris-wheel type thing, similar to the London Eye, that I'm super excited for. And there's a particular buffet I've been dreaming about over the last two years.

What are your Vegas dates?

LVH (decent, but off the strip) has some midweek rooms for under 50.00

Riveria (a dump, but on the strip) is also under 50.00

I was just at Wynn for about 150.00 night, I think I still have the coupon code for that.

[KGirl]

Pluto - I'm a little worried about the finances and "taking stock", as you say, because I'll only have been in my new place a month. I think I'll be OK, though - our situations are reversed. I'm leaving the house, and our agreement is that H will pay ALL bills associated with the house, plus the mortgage in full. He wants to buy the house from me, so this will be a good test run to see if he can do it before doing anything legal and being forced to refinance. My rent is going to be a little more than my half of the mortgage was, and bills should be comparable if not less (I won't need cable - H needed that for sports!). It will be more expensive solo but not unmangeable, I think. I was a little stressed thinking of all the things I could instead be doing with this money (pay off a student loan! get a car so I don't have to borrow one from my parents!) but those are things I can ponder when I get back. It's time to do something enjoyable.

labug - yes, I spent too much time worrying about the past and the future, not enough in the present. I always felt like it was good to worry about the future - at work that was considered "detail-oriented" and "thinking through all possible outcomes" which was valued, but there can be too much of a good thing. I caught myself this morning ruminating over "What if H told me today he wants stay M and work on things? What would I do? Can I ever trust him or get over this?" but put myself on pause and said "There'll be plenty of time to think about that if that happens. Think about it then. He doesn't need an answer right away." I think you had recommended The Happiness Trap to someone at one point, and it has been very helpful in that regard.

woundedfool - I'm going Sun-Thurs, last week in June. It will be hot but, it's the soonest I can get away midweek! I'm thinking I'll stay at the Monte Carlo - nice balance of Strip location/cost, and not a dump, IMO. I found a deal that's about $45 a night for the basic room (before the resort fees but that's pretty standard for any hotel, I think?) plus a $75 food/drink credit at their pub restaurant. Seems like a lot of credit to spend at one restaurant but I suppose a couple of drinks will put a big dent in it

[woundedfool]

woundedfool - I'm going Sun-Thurs, last week in June. It will be hot but, it's the soonest I can get away midweek! I'm thinking I'll stay at the Monte Carlo - nice balance of Strip location/cost, and not a dump, IMO. I found a deal that's about $45 a night for the basic room (before the resort fees but that's pretty standard for any hotel, I think?) plus a $75 food/drink credit at their pub restaurant. Seems like a lot of credit to spend at one restaurant but I suppose a couple of drinks will put a big dent in it

Yea, you'll blow through the 75.00 there pretty quick.

Monte Carlo is cool(I should qualify it with: South strip is like a foreign land to me).

But you will be close to City center, pretty good vibe in those places (Cosmo, Aria, etc.).

Don't get me wrong, mid-week is cool (that's what I just did), far less BS to contend with (ability to walk up and get seated for food, seats at the pool, etc.).

[artsy]

KGirl, are you going completely on your own, or are you going with a friend?

[KGirl]

On my own is the plan, but it turns out that every summer a friend and her H go at the end of June as well, so if our trips overlap we may be able to meet up. I have never done a trip on my own, but I'll be able to do exactly what I want, when I want, and not have to worry about whether someone else is bored or wants to do something different. If my grandma can do it, I can do it

[artsy]

Good for you!

[KGirl]

Trip planning feels like the only thing keeping me going through this move. H and I have yet to go by room by room to decide who gets what. I asked him yesterday about some things on the entryway table, one of which is an hour glass. I said I'd really like to have the hour glass. He said in a joking tone "you mean the 44 minute glass?" 'casue it doesn't run a full hour. I said "I don't really feel like joking about this" and started getting teary-eyed. How am I going to get through deciding what to do with wedding pictures and mementos? I don't feel like he should keep any of it because if he never wanted to get married anyway, why would he want it? I picked out all the decorative things that he said were wastes of money, and now he wants them because he's "used to how they look in the house." I didn't put all my time and creativity into this to have to leave half of it behind. I'm really stuck right now on how UNFAIR THIS ALL IS. I'm leaving, I'm exiting his life, this is what he wants, why can't he just let me be to do it? He doesn't even have to do any work. And if I try to start packing things that seem obvious to me (like my gnome collection!) he starts asking me questions about what I'm doing and how he didn't get to see what I put in that box. He wants to oversee the whole process, but he won't answer my questions about setting a date and time to do it. I can't do it ad-hoc because if he's watching TV or playing a video game he won't hear me when I ask questions. This is harder than I thought it would be. I just want to get on packing things up and not have to drag this out longer than necessary.