Not much advice, but moral support. And a reminder to be patient.
I wouldn't ask her to do anything with her Facebook page. But you should feel free to do whatever you feel is right to yours. Including NOTHING, until your emotions are calming down a little. It seems to me you have more important things to attend to than her right now. I know this has been sudden and recent and you are disoriented. It's OK to feel that for a bit without having to do anything. Naming emotions is a way of calming them.
Best to you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Yes, I know WAW and I have issues that we need to work on but does that mean we can't have simple friendly, non-relationship exchanges as a means to work on our friendship? Or keep the lines of communication open?
I'm also having a hard time detaching from how quickly this all happened. I know that I zero control over it but I still often wonder the why's, how's etc.
Because I don't know what's going on with WAW, I'm feeling stuck. Do I continue to follow the painful path of DB? Or do I completely cut her off, tell her to come get her things from my house, and tell her take me off of FB as her boyfriend and hope that makes me feel better?
Again with the "buts" ????
Look at it this way...
You are on a break....
You have zero internet or any way to reach her...
You are unsure of how long she will be gone....
DO NOT ring any bells that cannot be un-rung....
Stay inside of your own head for now...
You seem to be doing really well, and grasp the concept ( from what I have read that you post to others).
You just need to step back, and learn to apply it to your own schidt....
Because I don't know what's going on with WAW, I'm feeling stuck.
It would seem to me that if you know how often WAW poops a day, then you'll be unstuck. How silly is that, right??
You're giving away your own power to WAW! Doesn't matter if you know or not what she does or doesn't do, you chose to remain stuck by living inside your head. Get out of your head and get out more often with GAL activities. That will be the fastest way to get unstuck, Thorn.
SMH. I'm not done with fear yet and we're talking about what your WAW is doing again... I SO want to start swinging a 2x4 on you but not my style and others (Mach) swing them like Hacksaw Jim Duggan so I'll let him do that.
I really hate talking about the WAW's but I'll say one thing real quick. Are you ready to call it quits on her and you guys and die on that hill right now? If yes then sure, tell her to get her crap, change her FB status, and get out of your life and you can deal with that closure. I think that's a pretty dumb idea if you really love her as you say you do. My guess is all that BS is based on your emotions and frustrations (of not being able to control the sitch). Guessing you think that gives you the control back right. You know how I know, because I used to say the same schit.
She left so what makes you think she wants to "have simple friendly, non-relationship exchanges as a means to work on our friendship"? If she wants that she knows how to contact you. I know it's tough buddy but right now there is nothing you can do about you and her but what you're doing. Doing your own thing, GAL, reading, and working on yourself.
You are not in control of it right.......
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
I know you are all right on the money. Thanks for the tough love, eventually I'll start to get it. I appreciate you all steering me in the right direction.
Thor, Have you spent some time with the questions that Wonka asked you? Ones I'm specifically wondering about are the 'how are you addressing/ what are you doing about it types of questions'.
Fear...told you we weren't done with this one. Since you've said you're religious I can go here a little with you. I'm sure you know in the end God won't give you more than you can handle. If that's the case maybe he's allowing this to happen for a reason, maybe to force a change in you? No one knows His plan for you but something to think about huh. Also why not turn to him when you're feeling this fear? There are so many scriptures you can say to yourself when feeling trapped in this stinking thinking (Deuteronomy 31:6, 2 Timothy 1:7, Chronicles 28:20, Isaiah 41:10 & 13, .....).
Originally Posted By: Thornton
If you're fears come true then what happens?
Panic ensues creating more fear.
What I was thinking about more than this is what is the outcome? Few examples: you were afraid to lose control of R, you were afraid of being left, etc... When you start looking at it from a different way a lot of your fears may have already come true even when you let that fear control you and make you do or act in detrimental ways. Thinking about it that way, does it make sense to let your fears control you anymore?
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
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