H and I have been married almost ten years. He adopted my now almost 16 year old D and we have a 7 yo S. He grew up in a house where his father cheated on his mom and his mom let the kids know about it at an early age. H's first PA with OW happened 8 months into our marriage. She lives states away, and they would meet halfway. We did counseling when I started getting emails from what was likely her boyfriend disclosing A.
Fast forward to 8/2011. They were at a work meeting and slept together again. H told me, and we did IC. I thought about D. His parents finally divorced and he had been drinking and made a lot of positive changes after this.
Fast forward to last year. I had to go on medication for some auto immune issues. I gained 25 pounds within 6 weeks. I was miserable. I was dizzy, in a fog, and overall not myself. After 6 months on the medication, I quit cold turkey at Christmas, and it told months and months for my metabolism and body to come back. I went to my doctor in late March and started a new medication and ramped up to my final dose at the end of May. Along with diet changes and finding out I am gluten intolerant through an elimination diet, I now weigh less than I did before the meds. My auto immune issues are not controlling me at all. I'm back!!!
In June, H told me he wanted a D. A week later, he revealed a 6 month affair with the same OW who now is married and has two young children.
I did the DB, but honestly, I also just focused on who I wanted to be. I started looking at hobbies and things to do with my kids.
H was deep in the affair fog. After so many affairs, I just wasn't sure I had it in me. I kept focusing on the other three members of my family (mom and two kids). I sent H an article on affair fog geared towards the cheating spouse. He is close to the kids and I didn't want the affair to destroy that regardless of the marriage.
He went to visit his brother and stayed there with them. Pictures posted by my in-laws all over FB. I went to interview attorneys to cover my bases. He came back knowing I was doing that and said he wanted to stay and be with us instead.
Since then, the truth has started coming out. He is depressed. His parents have caused issues. He has issues. He is getting a therapist, but he needs a psychiatrist as well. Our oldest has bipolar depression controlled with meds and therapy. H is depressed.
He told me that the OW had a tummy tuck, fake boobs, etc. After having kids so he is attracted to her and had to use libido pills to have sex with me. (I'm a size 6 now.)
This wasn't said in a mean or hateful way. He was crying as he said it all. I kept it together and kept encouraging the truth, but it is painful. It is really painful.
Only you can answer that question. I found out (the hard way) that my H is not the good moral person I thought he was. And I am still having a hard time fully detaching and walking away.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
