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FaultyH Offline OP
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Hello all! Im new here but have been reading Michelles DB book for the past month. Heres my situation.

My wife and I had been separated for over a month now. She has been set on divorce since the begining of our separation. The reason is because, after a big argument that we both had, I failed to contain the argument between us and my family found out about the argument. Then I sided with my family against her. While my intentions were not to slander her name with my family, the fact that I vented out to my parents caused a chain reaction of dissapointment and resentment against my wife. Now, shes packing to move out by the end of this month. I deeply apologized to her by first acknowledging my faults and emphatizing with her feelings. To this day she still express to me how dissapointed, hurt, angry, and hateful she is against me, and I truly understand her feelings. Even our mutual friends have been involved. It is a true mess! She continues to lash at me pretty much every day, but I truly understand the way she is feeling and I dont argue with that. I truly love her and I am doing things that I believe will rebuild this severely damaged relationship. And by the way, I am not here to defend myself. So feel free to call me out. Any advice will be truly appreciated.

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Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


Me-70, D37,S36
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I'm sorry you find yourself here. Can you give us some history? There must have been more going on for your W to move out...


M 46
H 44
D 12 S 8
M 9 T 11
BD 2/15/13
"Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13
Agree we are 'healing' 7/13
Definitely Piecing 9/13
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Originally Posted By: lovethehub
I'm sorry you find yourself here. Can you give us some history? There must have been more going on for your W to move out...


. . . and for everyone to side against her? Why would they automatically do that, was there some prior incident with her or something about THIS incident you haven't told us?

We need more info.

Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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I'm sorry that this is happening to you, gbaez. I agree with others that there must be more to the story if your W is moving out. What was the big argument about?


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I pretty much made a similar mistake. My husband went crazy when his family found out. I didn't mean to tell but they were visiting and I could not hold back my tears. Its always better it seems like when noone else knows about it. Family will have things to say and resentment. Things are way calmer for me now, but the separation and divorce issue still floats around.


Me:27 H:26
T:3 M:1.5
D 6 months
D bomb: 6/21/14
I Moved out 9/7/14
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Is there a history of her feeling stressed toward your family?

Unless you have experienced her siding with her family against you.....then you don't know how she feels.

What are your ages?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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FaultyH Offline OP
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Wow! First of all, thanks to all of you to respond to my thread. I did not expect such a quick response from that many users. The history is very very long, but I managed to keep it as short as possible. There were two major events; one involving family, and one between us and the family. Since I am still on "moderation" I will just share the first story.

Around two months ago we had a formal wedding (we first married around 2 years ago at the court house). We both worked pretty hard for this event (she worked harder, off course). At the rehearsal night, my wife got offended by my sister-in-law (which was part of the wedding party) because she did not acknowledge my wife when she walked into the venue the night of the rehearsal (they have been having issues since the beginning of the year, but 5 days before the wedding, they "solved" their differences...at least thats what everybody thought, including me). Since I wanted to make my wife happy, I had to compromise by telling my brother that I prefer for his wife (sister-in-law) not to be part of the wedding party anymore. This caused a negative chain reaction, because now my brother (best man) did not showed up for the wedding, as well as my aunt and uncle (they helped my SIL and W to reconcile 5 days b4 the wedding). We still had the wedding with some bitter-sweet feelings in my heart. But we still had fun.

So this was the first incident. More things happened, but it is too long to post here at once. So I will post little by little.

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What a
Age of you and wife?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Have you read DB or DR?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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