Hey SP, I find that online I can be flirtier (is that a word lol?)than in person. I can build up a rapport before meeting and I've noticed that the crazy comes out in women fast if you message with them a few times and that saves you meeting someone who's not nice, ready or a gameplayer. On the downside it's hard to gauge the unknown too. For example, the lady I saw last week stopped messaging me the day before our date. Turns out she'd messaged me from work and for some reason the messages weren't showing up. I was rather anxious about whether we even had a date anymore lol. When I actually met her for dinner it just wasn't there for me. I also have found in my seven years of singlehood that women go to courses or events e.g. Yoga class and their walls are up real high. They're here to do yoga and that's that. I once took a Latin Line Dance class and had a lady come over and start making conversation and the teacher, who was apparently into me (yeah, I could actually tell lol) came over interrupted and any time that lady tried to interact she'd break it up! Otherwise it's been a dry pool...and as far as going to church to meet women, it hasn't given me any prospects really. Women don't want to sh!t where they live and I don't blame them. I do know some people who've met their spouses at church but I haven't got much action there lol. Anyway, be good to yourself and love thyself first. What will be will be. Good luck.
Agree, if its gonna happen get it over now before you actually take possession of the business. Is there anyone, family, you can trust you can put the name in temporarily so she cant get any dibs on it?
Completely agree about the entitlement cr@p; they all do it eventually. My X initially didnt want anything, just wanted out. I waited too long and ended up having to give so e alimony for a few years. It was a deal for sure compared to what could have happened but still, why does a woman who makes $60k a year need money fro me? Selfish, entitled b!tch!!!!
You are correct about attracting younger women, this is very very common to be honest. And the better looking they are is going to cause youto be seen as "high value" and will attract more. Odd you are not attracting more close to yourage, but as you said, could be a shortage in your area in that age group. Your preference is yours but I personally wouldnt rule out someone younger; you never know depending on their experiences and maturity level. Besides, if youre forced to trade up, mightas well be a newer model! My girlfriend is about 5 years younger but everyone always mistakes her for about 28-30. She has aged very well and took care of herself!
Agree with whatisis; online allows you to weed out the riff raff a bit and discard to nutbags and clingy / needy ones. A few of myfriends out there are having good success with that popular speed dating app. Not sure if we can mention its name but sounds like "tender"!
Keep focusedand path forward!!
Az
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
Take the following with a grain of sal trot as I'm not a lawyer and don't even play one on tv:
As for support for your ex (I'm talking strictly about alimony here, not child support and not the division of assets acquired during the marriage): First of all, if she quit her job, alimony should be calculated on her presumed earning capacity, ie the income she was making at that job. You can't just arbitrarily quit your job to get a better settlement or to get out of child support. Second, in most states, it's standard to put in a clause that alimony stops if she cohabits with another man.
Third, debts or assets acquired after the formal separation date should be separate property.
Maybe it's my online approach, but I find that 90% of the women I message, never reply back. I have heard this is very common. What I have found is, the women who message me are WAY off from what I am looking for. Perhaps the same is working in reversal, but I feel that I do have a lot to offer an attractive, successful person.
I do have the Tinder app, and I did meet a girl about a week ago, after a couple short messages. That is something else I have noticed. If there is too much time spent messaging or speaking over the phone, the spark goes out before you ever even meet. Now, I try to set up face to face contacts sooner than later. Still for me, in person flirting and dating is more effective. I am not sure if I am maybe just not photogenic, or maybe I am wording my profile wrong, but I am just not attracting the women I would like to meet. In person, I feel a little more successful.
I reality, I AM looking for a younger model. Perhaps not younger than wife. She was 8 years my junior. I have always gone with that international "10 year" rule, but everyone is telling me the new rule is "1/2 your age plus 7 years"...lol. I would have no problem dating a woman 10 ears younger than me, but I find that I am getting attention from women that are 12 years younger, and even 14 and 15 years younger. I have a "girl", that would love to date me. She's 20 years younger! That's too much of a difference, and I really worry that we wouldn't have enough in common for the long haul, maybe even the short haul. On the flip side, women that are my age or older, in general, feel MUCH older than me. I am still pretty playful, young at heart and somewhat young appearing. With that said, the search continues....lol
KML, I have heard similar things regarding the assets and inheritance. My attorney says, "this is the norm, BUT..". It is the "But" that worries me. I am working on coming up with a settlement as quickly as possible. At this point, Wife and I are never getting back together. It's unfortunate, but Wife still kind of haunts me in my dreams. It's sad, but true. I just need to end this portion of my life, and hopefully I will be able to sleep better at night.
I think the going rate is about 10%, so I read. Just remember that most of the no responses have nothing to do with you. Some women are looking for some specific attribute e.g. a guy who plays tennis, are ambivalent, are looking for validation...there are a ton of reasons women don't respond that don't necessarily have anything to do with you. Now, I would suggest you try different approaches and see what happens. A book I like is "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book" by Evan Marc Katz which helped confirm for me that I was doing something right lol. I'm not crazy about some of his examples of witty things to say to women but that's him not me. I also find that through messaging for a few days or a week you get a feel for the person. When I get "have a nice day" a few times and not much else in response to my chatty message then it's time to move on. Again, I find the crazy comes out real fast and I'm glad I didn't go for the coffee meet too soon. Anyway, hang in there!
I don't have much working knowledge with Tinder myself, but from what I have been told from my friends that do, they use it more for like a speed dating app. One in particular has had success catching matches while downtown on a weekend and lining up "coffee dates" the same day after a few texts. Makes sense in regard to your comment about them losing interest over a relatively short period of time.
Whatisis is correct; lack of responses is typically not about you, it's about them. A lot of women using this app and dating sites in general just like to get the validation. A lot of it is also casting a wide net in hopes to catch the "one" fish!
Agree with using earning potential and she should be held to it as well; what's good for the Gander needs to be good for the Goose too! Definitely get the best settlement as quick as you can and don't give one more inch than you absolutely have to. The longer you wait the more entitled she will get!!!
Az
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
I have to share a dating story...well, not exactly a "dating" story.
A friend and I went out a couple weeks ago, to see a movie. Afterwards we went to a bar, and decided to have a few drinks. While we were there, a couple ladies came in and sat next to us at the bar. I sparked up a conversation, and away we go. I was really hitting it off with one of the women. We just seemed to click. THEN, my friend dips a little too deeply into the Tequila. We have all been there. Being a good friend, I quickly escort him out, and take him home. During my departure, I completely forgot to ask for this girls number.
Monday rolls around, and I had been kicking myself all weekend for not getting her contact info. low and behold, I get a message from an online dating site I frequent. It's her! She tracked me down, because we joked about online dating, and she remembered the site I am on. We exchange number, text back and forth several times and agree that we should get together much sooner than later. We tentatively planned to meet later that week. We also exchanged Facebooks, and of course I did some detective work. She seemed super outgoing, very athletic and I noticed she had a great job as a hospital director. I dug a little deeper and noticed that her ex-husband had commented on a photo, so I furthered my investigation. They apparently divorced in 2011. All is well so far. Then, I notice this link he recently put on his wall. It had her name and a caption reading "name withheld" pleads innocent to 17 counts of theft and forgery. Yep, this lady I met was out on 100,000 dollar bail. It sounds like she racked up 300k on a hospital credit card, for personal stuff, over a 3 year period. She then forged checks to pay the credit cards off. Long story short, she is probably going to prison and I am so happy that I am skeptical of people. Catastrophe adverted...haha
