moving out..... deep breath

[job]

Julie,
If I'm overstepping myself, please let me know...but the situation w/your son and him requiring leg braces, have you given any thought to contacting Shriner's or another large organization like that?

[juliegayle]

Job.
Not at all overstepping. That is exactly the kind of resources I am exploring. We had medicaid when s was born and lost it when he was 3 and I started working full time. He is now on waiting list for ssi and medicaid. Services in our state su@k so I am looking at 5 plus more years on the list. He is also on a slightly shorter list for CAP worker. In another year he will also be old enough to apply for a case worker that will focus on community skills.

I am also talking to easter seals.

We never really worried about these services before as my in laws helped a lot. They have both retired now so the help they can offer is limited.

I am open to all suggestions in and outside the box.

[job]

Julie,
Here's another org. that you may want to look into...St. Jude's Hospital for Children.

[juliegayle]

Found out today I gave an std. I was shocked. Went through the time line with the doc. Have been intimate with no one but h since 2000 and noone at all in almost year and half. Was given a full std screening in 2004 when pregnant with s and was negative. Doc said if I had been infected then blood work would have been positive even if no symptoms. So I was infected somewhere between 2004 and 10/2013.

I am livid. Did h begin PA with OW earlier than I thought or were there more OW earlier? This is just another betrayal and now I need to pay for his callous abuse of our marriage. I know o didn't do anything wrong but I feel so dirty. I don't think I will even be able to look at him when he comes for s tomorrow.

I also found out I am diabetic. Can't blame this one on h Both my parents were/are diabetic. Planning to do something good with this diagnosis and take back control of my health. No more emotional eating and self medicating with chocolate. Had a really positive session with a diabetes coach and have follow ups scheduled for Thursday and next week.

Apparently the stress from the uncontrolled diabetes triggered the STD outbreak. Otherwise I still wouldn't know.

[juliegayle]

Have not gave

[job]

Julie,
I am so sorry to hear that you've gotten an STD. You need to advise your h of this information, as he is this little gift around to others. If you've not been w/someone during that time period, it most likely was your h that gave it to you.

The bottom line is this...take care of yourself, take the meds for the STD and do what you need to do to get your diabetes under control. Stress has a way of hitting our weak spots in our bodies. So, be kind to yourself and start relaxing a bit more.

I know that you are furious right now and I do not blame you, but you do need to tell him so that he can be tested and he will definitely need to tell all of his partners that he's given out the gift that no one wants.

Please, please take care of yourself.

[Mighty]

Hi Julie. Glad you are being positive about your health and taking control of it. I'm sorry about the std thing. Sounds a lot like mine. Went for a routine check up.... and boy was I surprised when they called me the following week! She said stress made it worse... so... gotcha there.

It is horrific news. To be so betrayed by your h... in every way. Ugh. I didn't have signs, but luckily I went for my check-up. I had to have surgery.

At the time, I hadn't been speaking w h at all. Yet, ironically, I felt morally obligated to tell him. I sent an email. It was short and do the point. Not hateful... just factual. I did not receive a response. Nothing. I didn't expect to. However, a little while later when my s found out (too long to explain), that's when I heard from xh. It was the monster which I'd thought he'd outgrown. Yet this monster was quite vindictive and horrific.

Later he acknowledged it... and apologized. But, I doubt he'd acknowledge it at this point!

Not trying to hijack, just letting you know... in my experience, he didn't take it so well. Yet, keeping it to the point and factual (no emotions) didn't give him room to do or say anything. And it was dead silent.

So glad I handled it that way. Not one bit emotional (that he saw). I let him sit with it.

Keep your head up, girly!

[CaliGuy]

Julie .... ugh... I feel your pain.

Mar13 while driving up to visit with FIL and BIL my W called to tell me she thought she might have a STD, I laughed and said that was impossi...oh chit. Mind you we were sexless for 3+ years and I knew OM and her at that point were PA, had to put on a poker face during the visit (They did not even know we were going to D)

I then went to get tested and the anger I had, the embarrasment, shame, all that .. yeah .. Even now its a tough one to swallow, thankfully I was clean but now I have to think about that if I were to go on and try to save the M.

And yes .. the stress triggers the outbreaks, I know that just by the way W would explain it, and forwhatever reason she was good with the fact OM gave her this .. for about a year then all the sudden it was a deal breaker .. MLC on aisle 3 .. just nuts.

Sorry to hear you have this, its just not fair what this thing puts people through.

[juliegayle]

Thanks Job Mighty and CaliGuy.

Yes stress seems to be the culprit for the outbreak and the elevated blood sugar are a big stressor on my body.

I have been debating and dreading how to tell h. Doc said I didn't have to tell him which seems weird to me. I think an email may be the way to go. Thanks Mighty, I was dreading a face to face.

[Lifes Twists]

So sorry to hear about the STD. I don't know how I would react if I found out this way. I would probably text her and thank her for giving me the gift that keeps on giving. I think this is a huge concern for all of us to think about and is one that many will face if we end up back with our spouses.