jahita

[Thornton]

Hope you are hanging in there, Mu.

[ARose]

Mu, I hope you are out welding something tonight.

[Vanilla]

Preferably some tacky sore parts to a sleazy bum with red hot solder.

You have my permission.

V

[mutatio]

Hi everyone, I just can back from welding class. I experienced something interesting over the course of the evening. We were working on vertical welding, welding steel in a position like a picture frame on your wall. Anyway, I was struggling all night, travel speed to fast, travel speed to slow, arc length to long, arc length to short, amperage to high, amperage to low. All night I struggled, I kept saying "don't get frustrated, be patient and keep trying". All night I said this and all night I $ucked. I had time for one last pass and I was really p!ssed off. I said to the piece of work " I'm going to burn your mother F ing a$$, I'm sick of your $hit. I went at it with a vengence and made a really good pass, my best weld of the night. Before you say good job, please know I was doing all of my welds like that last week.

The point I am trying to make is that when I was trying to be understanding and work the problem I had no success. When I was angry and solely focused on the work I performed much better. It's almost like when I was a nice guy and tried to work with the steel I kept failing. When I was angry and focused I forced my will upon the steel and succeeded at what I was trying to achieve.

So here's the question. The anger triggered the focus and will needed to get the work done. Is there any way to use this focus and will to help me detach? I think I struggle because I am a nice guy and don't want to make waves. I desire to be kind, compassionate, positive and more strong willed. How does one turn on the strong will without being angry?

[Vanilla]

Mu

I am not sure this is purely anger. I think it's a second level emotion a combination of anger and joy.

A state called determination.

Joy because you are doing something you love (welding) and anger because it wasn't going so well, possibly a tinge sadness in the mix.

If you can tone this anger down you will have a state called flow or focus.

It's the state Zues uses in his games , that V uses when she is finalising 100 tax returns before 31 Jan each year and she can't get them to work.

It's using anger to motivate, a very good use of anger.

Pleased to see it.

V

[Vanilla]

Fat fingers syndrome damn edit button missing.

So you can use this if you can find joy in detaching from your sitch. I think detaching is the opposite end of the states than focus.

Detaching seems to need less focus on the outcome not more.

However this is valuable because Mu can see he can deliberately a state of mind called focus, can he see that he can deliberately choose to use his feelings to trigger the state called detachment.

We often define detaching and tell others to do it without telling them how. Determination or focus is based on a deliberate outcome, such as getting the weld correctly done. Detaching is saying the outcome doesn't matter.

We may feel the feelings as the come but with mindfulness and meditation we can control our state of mind. So I can't see the same combination helping with detachment but choosing a different state will. You have just discovered you can have some control over your state of mind.

Shift.

My thoughts Mu

V

[JksD]

Hi Mu,
Maybe you can use the anger for boundary making? You can be a nice guy and still have boundaries. You just decide that you are not going to let anyone else's monkeys get over the lines that you have drawn and step all over you.

I am also struggling with this problem. I really that I take on too much because I can't say no. And in the end, I end up hurting myself and sacrificing what is important for what is not.

[mutatio]

Thanks V and Grlonfr. I will look into harnessing this energy. I am getting used to rearranging the furniture of my mind. There is to much clutter in there. Be well

[ARose]

Mu, you sound like you are on the verge of a breakthrough. I am so glad that you are taking that welding class. I want to say more but I am running out in a minute. Hang in there Mu, you are doing better.

[SciDad]

Mu,

I've been thinking about how you seemed to harness the energy of your anger to achieve your goals. I'm not sure this is exactly right, but let me know what you think.

To me your anger was a tool to let go, but more in the sense that it allowed a critical process to occur. When most people get angry they throw caution to the wind and work in a primal state of action, with no reflection. While not intentional, angry actions start when you let go of restraints and allow emotions to flow. You are no longer restrained by the "what ifs" and you simply do without worries; I think the letting go, not the energy of anger is what allowed you to progress further.

Just my thoughts, and a variation of what seems to be my theme lately - "sometimes you just gotta say what the F***" and just do something. Take a leap. Have faith you'll land in one piece. Please let me know what you think - I value your insights more than you know, and am invested in your success.