Since you've mentioned the credit card to W, I'd change the following email/text:
W,
Here's a gentle nudge about credit card bill. I've already paid $800 of your portion on XXXXX. Please reimburse me as soon as you can by March 1 at this address. Much appreciated. -NYG
I hesitate to change anything on the credit cards. We actually have two together. One i'm the prime holder on (joint cc) and one she is -- she uses it for personal stuff and it pays for half of our athletic club membership. I just don't want to change that yet. Heck, I haven't even changed my mailing address. I don't know why she hasn't asked me to, or why when she brought me some of my mail she didn't bring it all. Is it wishful thinking that she doesn't want to change anything either?
I'm going to wait another day to send the text about the cc. Thanks for your help with the script, Wonka. It's been just one week since I told her to leave me alone, but please leave the check... and I'm NOT giving her my address. I don't want her to see or know where I live.
Now Wonka, I wish I could tell YOU where I live. Or that you could find me on Fb...
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Loved the Twizzlers comment. They help me think too.
This time is like spring training NY Yankees style ... Use it to get into the best shape possible... emotionally, mentally and physically... develop new interests, explore new places, go to therapy/groups, read/journal/grow.. look deep within..
you are on the hero's (heroine's) journey... a dark challenge you want no part of (isn't that the truth?)... but where you will find forgotten parts of yourself, strengths you never imagined...
Bc from what I have seen... and what I felt for about 3 weeks before my XW found OW2.. is that piecing is a true test of emotional strength.. prepare yourself... sounds to me like you may very well have a shot at it...
and i wish i could find you on fb Hugs, NG Grace
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
NYGal common last name is on FB, with just a few New friends. NG I'm encouraged by your feeling that some day I might have a shot at piecing. Right now W and I are not communicating, at my request. I'm very distressed that she is complying! These days I'm struggling to just get by, because I'm so tired of this now 4 months long roller coaster ride. I called in sick this morning after a restless night of nightmares and visions of them together. I tried everything to STOP the awful thoughts, except Benadryl, which I don't want to become a habit. In one of the nightmares I think ow actually was banished, but any dream with her in it is a nightmare!
So to sign in and see your note was very encouraging. Thank you!
Last night I shared all my insights on being a better partner with a friend. She said, does W know all this? She thought if I just told W that, she'd come running to my side. I had to say, no, now isn't the time while she's still in the affair fog or still "messed up" as W said, or wherever she is now. My friend is currently being pursued by her X partner. They split a year and a half ago. I tearfully (with people in this bar watching the whole process) held her hand and told her with great sincerity and intensity to give XP a chance! That maybe she has learned something from their separation, and that this could indeed be the love of her life. I'm a big advocate for working things out, as you can imagine, and I just wish someone would have the same conversation with W one day soon! All too often friends just say, we want you to be happy. But my friends who married and had in their wedding ceremony a promise from everyone gathered there that we would all support them as a couple in time of need -- it was profound to be reminded of that recently. That friend has vowed to do the same for me and W. But fate stepped in and their lunch had to be rescheduled. Maybe fate is on my side and the timing will be better later.
The real reason I believe we might have a chance someday is that W has repeatedly mentioned friends who have split up and gotten back together. I see that as cake eating on her part, but I also have some hope that she really is trying to figure herself out, and can't come back until she has. We were so good together, so right for each other. This is all so wrong.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Wanted to say thx for posting on my thread and also that your resilience and determination are inspirational!! Being transparent and owning your junk is SO hard for some of us, though it is so needed and you make it look natural.
Know that you've got a fan in SC!
Ojap M 13 T 15 D 11 D 11 D 9 BD #1: ILYBNILWY 09/2015 BD #2: W asks for S 12/2015 ---------- Currently: Limbo
I'm gonna go have another bag of Twizzlers for lunch.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Just sent the cc email to W as Wonka suggested. Fingers crossed she won't argue or say something mean or refuse to pay it or something. Sigh.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Nothing in response to the email about cc. But I did get an email on my work email asking me to change our CenturyLink account to authorize her. That's the first communication from her in over a week. I know it could be worse, but it still makes me sad. Very matter of fact, with a thanks! sign off. I changed it already, and will respond a while later...
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
