Thank you dear friends for the birthday wishes. I also think of them as positive points. After my last post, my wife left for work and as she walked out the door she said "Enjoy your day", I responded "you too". I never would have expected it. I do not believe it was anything more then a pleasant comment, but she has not done that in a year and then it would be "bye". Again, it was nice but changes nothing. I will remain ever vigilant against long odds but it seems the path of kindness and compassion are the way. Peace
Keep seeing those little positive things and take the focus off what is missing. They may be insignificant in themselves but by focusing on what we have and what we want, instead of feeling bad about what we haven't is important IMO.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
I now see that I have evolved to the point where I am not using my wife's behavior as a barometer of how I should feel. I have detached for the most part but not completely from it. It may be that I have finally broke myself of the codependent tendencies. I don't feel any different, just less stressed, less anxious and less worried about my marriage. I still experience these things, just not as intensely as before. It could be acceptance of the inevitable, whatever that may be.
It looks like blue sky and temps in the 60's today. I think I will spend the early afternoon outside trimming and pruning. I will use my time to make this years growth healthy and beautiful. Deadwood must be removed so that new growth has a effective chance to survive. The trick is to prune just enough to change the direction but not damage the life. After awhile the buds will arrive and the blossoms will appear. I look forward to my blossoms.
I woke up twice last night due to unpleasant dreams about my wife. This has not happened since last summer. It's hard to go back to sleep after one of those dreams.
My PMA needs regular attention. I stopped thinking about it and soon the negative feelings started to creep in. Not much new here. I am struggling with my wife going on a business trip next month. I feel added stress and anxiousness when she goes on one of these trips. I used to just soldier through it but now I prefer to not ignore my emotions. I will post more about those feelings as they become more acute.
Things I need to work on in the short term are validation and PMA. Be well
Keep breathing through her business trip, you got this. It's just a trip, nothing more, nothing less. One more set of days on your grand adventure to self mastery. Welcome the challenge of her trip like you would an upcoming athletic event or test. It's one more opportunity for you to sharpen your skills.
Glad to see the increase in your PMA and how it's becoming independent of your W's interactions with you. Great work my friend.
Cheers, PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
I was just thinking of you today. I feared you dropped us without saying good bye. Thank you for the kind thoughts. Please post so we know how your doing. Be well
