I've limited any texting I do with him (necessary texting, about things like $) to just once a day. If he replies I wait until the next day to respond.
Mine is also still using our house as the mailing address.
Today I keep thinking about how long he was maybe planning on leaving me. How long did he discuss this with his IC before he made the move....I may never know....
Mine is also still using our house as the mailing address.
Originally Posted By: focus
Just chipping in on the mailing address...my WH still gets post here and he left in October! Is he too lazy to change it?
Ha girls Maybe it is sheer laziness, but I sort of think they just don't want to totally let go. Weird right?
Do you really have stuff to text your H about every day MMM? Have you tried only texting him if he texts you first?
Originally Posted By: MMM
Today I keep thinking about how long he was maybe planning on leaving me. How long did he discuss this with his IC before he made the move....I may never know....
No, sadly you may never know. Actually anything he tells you would probably be a big fat lie anyway, so put it right out of your mind MMM.
Let's focus on you instead! What fun things are you up to this weekend? My fella and I are having a lobster fest, on sale at the grocery store! Maybe will go to the beach tomorrow. How about you? And what are you up to Focus22?
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Wow, it's been almost a month since I have had time to check in here. No real updates. Still separated. Haven't talked to my spouse since the 1st of the month. I have had some decent days where I am determined and seeing progres in working on myself.
This week I am struggling with reviewing all of it in my head, trying to figure out how this all really happened. I think my spouse wanted a divorce 6 months before leaving me, but how can I know? Everything that has come out of his mouth this entire time has been one big contradiction or lie after another, with a few normal moments here and there. Part of me still doesn't believe my spouse really wants a divorce.
Thanks for checking in M. Of course you are struggling, trying to figure it all out, and find it hard to believe he really really wants a divorce.
There's really no way to know the truth of why and how and when, because these MLC and WA folk make their own version of the past, which helps them to rationalize leaving their loving spouse. And in the long run, whether his reasons are valid or big fat made-up lies, they are HIS reality.
You sound better, not so depressed. Are you still going to the al-anon meetings? What are you doing for fun? Do you guys have any kids?
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I haven't been to as many meetings lately, but will be going today to one. I've also started exercising again and I got my medications adjusted which I think is helping a lot.
I keep wondering who will contact who first. I really have nothing to say to my H at this point since I still want to work on things. Obviously if H did, he would contact me.
No kids, thank goodness. It makes it a bit lonely sometimes, but I am glad no one else is having to deal with his MLC!!!
I woke up feeling sad today. Thinking about what I have lost because of my husband walking away. No the R was not perfect, but there was love and companionship for many years. I wish he missed me.
Sorry it's rough today. Do you have plans for the weekend? If not, is there something you can do to get you out and moving, or some small treat you can give yourself? Bonus points if it's something you couldn't do with H around.
For example, my H is sensitive to scents, and I love scented candles and room sprays, so that's a treat I can only have when he's gone.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
I am thinking about going out later to window shop.
I looked at his Facebook (which I shouldn't have done) and I see he has bought himself new clothes. Meanwhile a closet full of clothes sits unused in "our" (my) house. It is little crap like that I just can't wrap my mind around. I don't know who this person is. He would say we "grew apart" but I think that is a BS excuse.
Felt very vindictive today. I didn't act on it though, thank goodness. I think I am inching towards asking my H to file divorce papers.
6+ months in and I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened. His motives, the whys. I want to think it was a rational decision on his part, but obviously not if he immediately ran into the arms of other women.
Maybe it is sheer laziness, but I sort of think they just don't want to totally let go. Weird right?