D18' s grad was very hard. I held my head up and looked at everyone. This was my ball court. I found strenght through everyone else who were there. I knew over 80% of them. I could do this. I saw my ic therapist present. She was unconciously making me stronger. Her daughter is a friend of D18 and they graduated together. She is here as i write this!
I am proud of myself. I am proud of my children, i am thankful of the outcome and the breakthrough for me! I do have great pictures!
Exquisite, we can anchor your success using an NLP technique. It's one I used before I needed to go to court against the G.
Basically, you need ten minutes of privacy. Imagine a big circle on the floor in front of you. Stand in front of it, close your eyes and feel proud like the major moment of achievement. Really really feel proud and amazing, imagine your IC, kids, V, Andrew and Job cheering you on, congratulating you. Step into your circle and as you do tap your wrist (The one with your watch on it). Repeat several times.
Every day for 3 or 4 days you can do this.
That spot near your wrist is called the anchor spot, there are lots of online resources to do this.
It's an NLP technique which helps you build your confidence.
You have shifted, I love it.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I fonction very well as a friend, as a manager and as a mother. My weakness is fear of ex-h and fear of reliving this crap. I am satisfied with everything else
I am still reading and i came across a tab about mental health that would benefit Andrew and many others i am sure. Since we can not share the link, i will copy/paste. JOB, feel free to discipline me if i break a rule
Everyone struggles in life at one time or another, and life’s journey has many ups and downs, twists and turns. Life is never a straight and even path and may require the occasional detour to get to where we want to be in life. Whether you have experienced traumatic events or not, and most of us have, we all experience times when we doubt ourselves, are fearful, uncertain and feel inadequate. This is part of being human.
Trauma can affect our mental health but it doesn’t mean we are crazy, sick or ill. Remember, trauma is an injury that happens to us.
Many people think mental health is simply the absence of a mental illness. Mental health and mental illness are however two very different things. Mental health is the sense of well-being that comes from knowing that you can cope with whatever life sends our way. Mental health is about a quality of life and finding balance between all aspects of our lives – social, physical, spiritual and emotional. The World Health Organization defines mental health as “a state of well being in which the individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his own community.” The Public Health Agency of Canada defines mental health as being “the capacity of each of us to feel, think and act in ways that enhance our ability to enjoy life, and deal with the challenges we face. It is a positive sense of emotional and spiritual well being that respects the importance of culture, equity, social justice, interconnections and personal dignity.
Good mental health can actually prevent mental illness. It is understandable and very normal that when we experience traumatic events we can feel less confident in our ability to cope with what life throws at us, you might feel more guarded, less trusting, less sure of yourself and of others. It can change the way you view and interact with the world around you. This can affect your mental health, disrupt your sense of life balance, your confidence, your connection with others and interfere with your quality of life. While it can feel crazy making but it doesn’t mean you are crazy. Your reactions and feelings are normal reactions to abnormal events.
You survived these traumatic events because of strengths you have and internal and external resources you could access. This also took courage. Recovering from the affects of trauma and enhancing your mental health is about understanding and knowing your strengths and knowing yourself. No one has perfect mental health and everyone can do things to improve their mental health. It’s a life long journey that gets easier as you travel down the road you have already started. You are actually farther down that road than what you might think.
So what defines and contributes to our mental health?
Dr. Corey Keyes described three types of well being; Emotional, Psychological and Social Well Being. We will also include spiritual well-being. All of these types of well being contribute to our mental health and recovery:
Emotional Psychological Social Spiritual Emotional Well Being refers to the presence of positive feelings (i.e. happy or feeling interested in life, as well as a general satisfaction with life, being able to experience moments of joy.)
Psychological well being can be divided into six components:
Self Acceptance – a positive self concept and ability to acknowledge both the positive and the negative aspects of ourselves. Positive relations with others- having warm, satisfying and trusting relationships with others. This includes being concerned with the welfare of others, an ability to display empathy, affection, intimacy and compassion. Autonomy – Self determined and independent, being able to resist social pressure to think and behave in particular ways, to know and abide by our own individual standards and values. Environmental Mastery- an ability to take advantage of available opportunities and shape our surroundings to adequately meet our own needs without restricting the freedom and opportunities of others. Purpose in Life- having and pursuing goals, feeling that life has meaning and having beliefs that give life purpose. Personal Growth- continually developing ourselves, recognizing our own potential, welcoming new experiences, and being able to change ways that demonstrate an increased sense of self-awareness and effectiveness. Being curious.
Social Integration – Feeling that we have things in common with others, feeling connected to both a community and the larger society. Having an interest in people and the world around us and a sense of belonging. Social Acceptance- Trusting others, seeing people as kind and generally holding favorable views of humanity. Social Contribution – believing we are important, valued and effective members of society. Social Coherence – Caring about the world we live in and understanding the way things work within it. Social Actualization – Having a hopeful outlook that society is improving, can or will improve. This would also include believing that people can change and that you can change and grow.
As mentioned earlier a fourth type of well being is “Spiritual Well Being”. Spirituality is about a search for understanding essential core meanings of existence. It is the aspect of being human that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, the earth and to the significant or sacred.
There are many ways to express and experience spirituality and a connection to the world around you. For some it make be a matter of faith or belonging to a spiritual community, it might involve prayer, it could involve dancing, singing, chanting, meditation, yoga, hiking, mountain climbing, walking in a park or, staring at the stars. It is what every helps you feel connected with yourself, with others, the natural world around you and gives you feeling that life has hope, meaning and purpose. Whenever you strive to discover and nurture what gives your life meaning, purpose, hope and a greater connection with the world around you, you are striving to be spiritually healthy. One method, one way, and one size does not fit all.
When you think about the nature of traumatic experiences it is not surprising that some of these aspects of us and our mental health would be challenged. For example when people who were supposed to care for and look out for us instead hurt us it makes perfect sense that it might affect how we see and approach people and the world around us.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yesterday morning, i received a text from one of my sister saying my mother had a major heart attack and it dud not look good. ( she did try to call me on many occasions and on many phones but i was already at work.)
Once i saw the text and voicemail, i called her back. My 2 other sisters and one of my brothers had arrived. Right away, i started fixing the schedule so that me and Daughters could take off for the rest of the week. We are 3 hours away from them.
As we arrived, my other brother had arrived as well but were going to have dinner as mom hasn' t had any change for awhile. They informed me that a patient transfer was gonna take place in the afternoon.
Me and my daughters made her way to my mom' s room where we were greated by my 2 sisters giving us a quick update on mom. Solange put her hand on my mother' s shoulder and told her: " Mom, your baby is here"
I approached her, said " HI mom" I leaned in and gave her a kiss. I could feel her excitement even through her breathing struggle.
Claudette said joyfully: "look, she opened her eyes to see you!! " Solange ( who is a nurse ) teared up and said: " no, that is not a good sign! She was waiting for you Diane! "
And with this few last breath, our mom left us for a better world..
My Daughters could not handle the emotionnal state in the room. They stayed in the hall. I went and gave them the news ...
No need to say more. My mother was my biggest blessing gift from God. Me, my brothers and sisters and my children are all branches from her and my father.
This morning, i woke to a text from ex- h asking if i was ok and hoping i would not mind about him wanting to attend my mother' s runeral.
(((((exquisitetobe)))) - I'm so very sorry for your loss but am glad that you had that one last blessed moment with your mother.
Depending on your own wishes I might suggest that you thank your ex-h for his concern and kind thoughts but ask to be left to grieve on your own with your siblings and children.
You could suggest perhaps that he make a donation to a favourite charity of your Mother's in her name. That's what I did when my ex-in-laws passed and it did help me to know that I recognized their passing and that their children knew that I grieved with them even though I chose to not intrude.
More hugs (((exquisitetobe)))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
