Starting my new thread. I received a text from H saying he was running a little late from work due to incident he had this morning. I didnt respond, as Steve you have said no need to respond to informational texts.
He texted again just now saying "30 min away". So it is nice he is updating me. But again, I wont respond per everyones advice. I just hope I am not coming off as unappreciative of his communication. Because I am happy he is doing that. I dont want him to stop communicating well just because I dont respond.
Does that make sense?
Last edited by job; 09/07/1810:08 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Thank you. He ended up calling twice after I didn’t respond so I answered and just said ok sounds good. He came to the house and wanted to tell me all about his day. I listened to him a bit, validated his feelings and kept it moving. I said I was heading out for a bit and I changed clothes. He asked if I would be out late and I said I wouldn’t and left.
Enjoying my spa pedicure as I type this and excited to pull out DR and continue reading. Thanks everyone! This community is a complete God send.
Had been feeling quite confident and woke up today feeling a little down again. I got home last night, showered and after he left I didn’t hear from him. Which I had been so I think subconsciously I thought I would. (No expectations no expectations I know I need to engrave it).
He sent a text this morning asking if the baby slept through the night and I said no and he asked if that was normal lately and I said ya. Then asked if I got the money he left me and I said yes.
So that’s been it. I believe he is supposed to come by tonight but I’m not going to mention it. I wonder if his remorse has already started to leave his system. This is when I would normally cling and ask him to spend time with us, and then down the road I would regret it for not sticking to tough love. So this time I’m sticking to it. Continuing to db, hoping that eventually he will feel sad again about this situation, enough to make an effort towards us and our R.
I get scared that I am missing opportunities and that he will stop feeling sad and start being fine for good with his lifestyle.
Last night I was thinking it would be amazing if you could absorb all the info for the book "The art of seduction" quickly. It is huge and take a long time to read, but well worth it. Might add that to your "to read" list. Even skim through it at the book store....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ready, Thank you I’ll dedinitely look into that. You think it would be helpful in my sitch?
Just got a text from H saying “just leaving job site and running errands, wanted to see if I could come by for a little”
I said he could. But if he thinks I’m stupid he’s crazy. I know he’s trying to come earlier than normal so he can have his Saturday night out. He thinks I believe his BS about not going out, I know exactly what he’s doing. What a sad life he leads of bars and asking permission to see his daughter for a few hours because HES choosing to live this way.
I feel like it has to crumble at some point. It hasn’t seemed to get old for him and it’s been almost a year. Amazes me that he thinks he’s pulled the wool over my eyes. Trying to get out of my own head and assumptions so I don’t say something stupid to him when he gets here. But I’m on to his games.
I have got to work on not being so available. I really do know that. I wish I hadn’t responded yet.
He texted me again to see if I wanted food from where he’s getting some. I said I’m good thanks. Or else he would come here to eat dinner together and I don’t want to be doing things like that right?
Keep it up. He needs to start seeing these changes in you on a consistent basis. Try to get that visiting schedule pinned down. If he texts and says hes late or coming early. You have to be ready to let him know you're going somewhere or made other plans. Otherwise hes just going to come and go like hes been doing. Put your foot down and dont worry about what he's going to think or do. At least try not to. You know hes coming to see your D so he can leave. Try to show him that your world doesn't revolve around him anymore.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
