[Wanted1]

Journaling --

Nothing really major to report. Kids and I went on the vacation I booked back in November. W was pretty anxiety filled prior to us leaving. She came to the house to say goodbye the night before we left and as she was leaving I thanked her for being OK with me taking the kids on the vacation and I got a pretty nasty sneer. Oh well.

A couple days prior to us leaving, on a day when I had the kids, my oldest (D7) said to me "Mom said she wasn't invited on the vacation." I told D7 that that isn't true at all. (W would have been invited if she wanted to be part of the family moving forward. She knew this, I believe) I asked W about this and she said she did not say that, that she told them this was Daddy's special trip with them. Not sure who to believe. I find it hard to believe that D7 would make that up but who knows...

The vacation was awesome. Kids had so much fun! It was a great time. We got back last week and then I left last weekend for some GAL with a couple friends.

I'm not sure if I wrote about this in my previous posts because it's been awhile, but prior to leaving on the vacation, I told W I need to see her proposed settlement and custody agreement. She gave it to me the week before we left (2 weeks ago) and of course it was almost a complete 180 from what she verbally agreed to beforehand and what we've talked about. We emailed back and forth a couple times regarding it and the last email that was sent was me explaining to her the reasons why I don't think I need to pay her any type of a settlement in the amount she had proposed in the draft she created. I still haven't heard back from her. She has not responded to it or given me any type of a counter-offer. Is this a sign of her dragging her feet? Not sure. I'm curious about it though. Also, the fact that she purposefully made it a point to tell our kids during their BD that we aren't getting a D really boggles my mind. If I remember right, as she was telling them we aren't getting a D she sort of trailed off with a 'at least not right now.' Very interesting to me......What am I going to do about it? Nothing. I'm going to wait her out and see if/when she finally brings something back to me. The ball is in her hands. If she wants to play ball she is going to have to do something with it.

My WW is doing the same with the settlement. Tells me one thing and tries to low ball me on the settlement. Then threatens to fight custody if i want more.

Yep. I had the same scenario for awhile as you can see. She agreed to my stipulations right after BD. Then came back and said she was under "duress" and never agreed to anything. Funny, because she drafted the divorce agreement back then with everything the way I wanted it but no use arguing. I think in my situation, she realized there was no way I was going to back down and she probably was a little concerned about everything coming to light in court hearings, so she eventually relented. She changed a few minor things around that benefited her but I got the vast majority of what I was asking so I agreed to the rest.

[neffer]

Hey W, DB is about saving ourselves first. Remember that.

Kids will no longer be kids someday. You can teach them how to fly but you can´t follow their flight...

Be there for the kids, be THE SAFE PARENT for them. There´s DB after D, get into it.

So, keep moving forward W, and keep DB.

(((Wanted)))

[Wanted1]

Just a random question I want to throw out there and get everyone's advice/suggestions on. For those of you that are D, what did you do with your wedding band?

Sell it?
Still have it in some drawer never to be seen again?
Trade it in on an engagement ring for your 2nd chance?

Mine is a pretty expensive band. Diamonds all the way around it. My D became final this week and I'm curious what everyone did with theirs. One option that I thought about the other day was the possibility of keeping it for my son when he grows up since it is such a nice one. But, maybe that's some voodoo/bad karma thing that I don't want to pass on to him!

[LH19]

Still have it in some drawer never to be seen again?

[Davide]

Yeah. I wouldn't pass it on. Maybe sell it... or stick it in a drawer to forget about it.

My W took mine when she left the house. I dunno if I even want to ask for it back...

[SoTorn]

I left my wedding band in my WWs room after I confirmed A. Its probably about a grand worth of gold. Ill get it back and sell it for scrap before I move out.

[Twofeet]

I stuck my ring in the firebox. I will take it to the grave or pass it on to the kids. I see it as a memento to remind me of the good times in my MR, and to remind me that my MR resulted in my children. I also have XW rings as well. Eventually, I may have to give them to her and I forgot to get my half of the value of them in the D. They are worth a nice chunk of change. She says she wants to hold them and give them to our girls. I think she just wants to sell them. I dunno just do what feels right to you.

[Ready2Change]

I handed my ring to MsR2c when she handed me D papers. I am sure she sold her ring to pay for expenses during D. Wish I still had that diamond.

[Wanted1]

Well, it’s been over a year since the BD. I haven’t been on my thread since shortly after my D was final as you can see but I’ve been coming back on here to read other peoples sitches. It’s somewhat therapeutic for me for some reason and I like to pay it forward by helping out here and there when I can.

Things have been going well for the most part. I never in my wildest dreams thought at this time last year I would be where I am today. I am happy with where my life is and truly feel I’m in a better place being D. Honest to god. No more stress, shame and embarrassment that comes with being married to a serial cheater. No more walking on eggshells in a R and all that “fun” stuff.

With that said, the one part that really still irritates me is ExW is still with AP3. Seems to be going strong still after over a year. I will never accept him. He was a crucial part in destroying my kids’ family and I know if it wasn’t him it would be someone else, but it was him and thus I have no time for immoral people.

This past Sunday, exW FaceTimed D6’s iPad while they were with me at the house. I’ve never prevented FT although I’ve been a little concerned with the frequency of said calls from exW. We are on a 2-2-5-5 arrangement and she will call numerous times during the 5 day stretch I have them. I, on the other hand, respect her time with them and usually just FT once during her 5 day stretch. This call on Sunday, however, took an interesting turn. While they were talking, AP3 all of a sudden appeared on the screen. I was right next to them at the kitchen counter and when I saw him appear I ended the call. The kids didn’t seem to mind too much but exW proceeded to try to call back numerous times which I just ignored. She then text me telling me I need to allow their mother to talk to them. I told her I have no problem with her talking to them but I refuse to accommodate ‘someone else,’ given the history, to interact with my kids when it’s my time with them. That is my right and my decision. It’s a boundary that I will enforce.

Was it wrong? Maybe. But I don’t really care. It was inappropriate in my opinion that she allowed that to happen and him to think it was OK. I would never dream to allow my SO to FaceTime the kids when they are with their mother and my relationship with her wasn’t a contributing factor to the D.

I wish, so bad, this POS would just go away. Disappear. If it was ANYONE else I would be absolutely fine with it.

Question for the vets here.....is this R between them seriously viable? I was hoping it would fizzle out by now. It hasn’t and I’m beginning to wonder if this jackoff is going to be a part of my life and my kids’ lives for the long haul.

[Wanted1]

Well, it’s been over a year since the BD. I haven’t been on my thread since shortly after my D was final as you can see but I’ve been coming back on here to read other peoples sitches. It’s somewhat therapeutic for me for some reason and I like to pay it forward by helping out here and there when I can.

Things have been going well for the most part. I never in my wildest dreams thought at this time last year I would be where I am today. I am happy with where my life is and truly feel I’m in a better place being D. Honest to god. No more stress, shame and embarrassment that comes with being married to a serial cheater. No more walking on eggshells in a R and all that “fun” stuff.

With that said, the one part that really still irritates me is ExW is still with AP3. Seems to be going strong still after over a year. I will never accept him. He was a crucial part in destroying my kids’ family and I know if it wasn’t him it would be someone else, but it was him and thus I have no time for immoral people.

This past Sunday, exW FaceTimed D6’s iPad while they were with me at the house. I’ve never prevented FT although I’ve been a little concerned with the frequency of said calls from exW. We are on a 2-2-5-5 arrangement and she will call numerous times during the 5 day stretch I have them. I, on the other hand, respect her time with them and usually just FT once during her 5 day stretch. This call on Sunday, however, took an interesting turn. While they were talking, AP3 all of a sudden appeared on the screen. I was right next to them at the kitchen counter and when I saw him appear I ended the call. The kids didn’t seem to mind too much but exW proceeded to try to call back numerous times which I just ignored. She then text me telling me I need to allow their mother to talk to them. I told her I have no problem with her talking to them but I refuse to accommodate ‘someone else,’ given the history, to interact with my kids when it’s my time with them. That is my right and my decision. It’s a boundary that I will enforce.

Was it wrong? Maybe. But I don’t really care. It was inappropriate in my opinion that she allowed that to happen and him to think it was OK. I would never dream to allow my SO to FaceTime the kids when they are with their mother and my relationship with her wasn’t a contributing factor to the D.

I wish, so bad, this POS would just go away. Disappear. If it was ANYONE else I would be absolutely fine with it.

Question for the vets here.....is this R between them seriously viable? I was hoping it would fizzle out by now. It hasn’t and I’m beginning to wonder if this jackoff is going to be a part of my life and my kids’ lives for the long haul.