Contact from ow

[peacetoday]

Happy New year all.
2019 is going to be a fabulous year!

I get on face book last night and there were several messages from the OW (wife) to me
from October on
I didn't see them because she is not a freind

I guess they are still M or back together

NO contact from XH

She is a mess, basically asking me how to get rid of him
wanting to send him back
Saying how he has ruined her life
saying how he told her I was the problem , but now she can clearly see its him

she is 37 and says they met at 23 and she was too young to know better
at 23 she had been D with a 7 year old already(who she abandoned at that time)
apologizing for her part in this

She cant write full sentences, terrible grammar sentences missing noun or verb
asking if her daughter now 20, can write to my D 23
she is absolutely nuts

I deleted the messages
she wrote since October and into November

NOthing from XH (thankful for that)

Im so glad they are far away
I of course will not respond and see if I can block her from any future contact

Job
What is her need to contact me?

[job]

Peace,

I think the woman is desperate and wants your attention. Sounds like she may have been drinking from what you posted. Generally, as you know, when someone is under the influence, they tend to blurt out exactly what is on their mind and it sounds like that is what she's been doing by sending you messages. If that is the case, it's taken a long time for those rose colored glasses to come off and realize that life w/your xh isn't a bed of roses....but that is not your problem.

Well, you can't solve her problem. She already knows how to prepare for a divorce, so she can figure it out all on her own. They made their bed, so they need to lay in it forever and a day. They are two adults and can figure out how to either make it work or go their separate ways.

I did have another thought...maybe she was testing the waters to see if you would respond and to see if you were still waiting for him and would be willing to welcome him back with open arms.

You did the right thing in deleting the messages and not responding. You may not hear from her again for a while...but do not be tempted to respond.

[kate11]

That is awful! So sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope that she stops contacting you at once.

[Gordie]

Peace

Sort for the unwanted contact

Not fun at all

It did cross my mind it was maybe XH using OW�s Facebook account

But then it doesn�t sound like it

Happy new year to you

[Gerda]

This sounds like a massive test of your screen name.

Peace in the midst of that message?

Facebook is so evil. I have never had a Facebook account for myself. My H got one at BD and started contacting all the women he knew before, so I knew then that I would never enter that realm. It's so clearly a temptation for us too, to have to be exposed to that kind of crap.

I agree you should not respond. But I would do it in a more positive way. I don't have time at the moment to remember if you are a praying person, but I would very actively lay her at the altar daily and pray that she finds God's will for her life until the thought of her note doesn't bother you anymore. If you are not a praying person, I would print out her post and bring it to the river and give it to the river, or the fire or something that can actively take it away from you.

I can feel just what you must be feeling. It's such a violation. We all know she is a pathetic mess. In some way I think she is trying to apologize to you. Maybe you can accept her apology in your heart (I mean by talking to God or the trees or the stars about it, not to her) just to have some freedom. I wouldn't be able to do it, not at all! but I know it would be good to do if you could!

(((((PEACETODAY)))))))

[marina7]

Wow,

So glad you deleted it.

Good for you

And yes OW saying D to contact her D smh

Thank God you're stable as you can see OW likes chaos

[OneArt]

Peace, what a rare treat to see a post from you about you, but I'm sorry for the circumstances.

I heard from the 1st OW twice. Both times under the guise of apologizing for blowing up my life. Both times very clear that she was: 1) trying to make trouble with him; and 2) trying in some way to distance herself from the wrongs she committed by portraying herself the victim. Seems similar to what yours is up to. Sad in any case.

You are old hat. You don't need us to tell you what to do. But a nice reminder for those who have not seen for themselves or have problems accepting that these people don't leave for a better life and it is certainly not all wine and roses.

Hope you have an amazing 2019!!

[peacetoday]

Hi
Job , One Art, Marina ,Gordie Gerda and Kate
Thanks for your responses

I think you all hit it from every possible angle for me and I appreciate your feedback


I think I am letting this go-
I do believe she is under the influence of something and I sense
she was needing to apologize for her part
and at the same time grasp for answers to try to fix her mess, which I obviously cant do and would not want to
I feel so far away from this chaos and my life is really good without them-

and yes for the new person it does show what the MLCer's new fantasy life becomes down the road-
and the kind of person their affair partner really is-

I will energetically send her forgiveness and good wishes
hoping that both she and XH find their way to Healing God and peace

xoxo

[job]

I did have another thought this morning about the unwelcome message. It could be that the dust is settling and they are both realizing that they no longer have anything in common and yes, the rose colored glasses have broken and they see all the warts, bumps and flaws of what they've done. If you think about it, in the beginning, you were the common denominator in the mess. He was running from his marriage and his relationship w/you. You were the big bad wolf and needed to land somewhere else and that woman was the one that took him in, stroked his ego, and they most likely talked about you a lot. Now, in the current day and time, you no longer are the common denominator because you have nothing to do w/them...so, what can they discuss but themselves and evidently that's not working out. As long as they have that common denominator between them, they will unite as one to support each other...in this case...that is completely gone and what better way to re-ignite that spark...but to text you.

You did the right thing by not responding. They now have to look at themselves and what they've done.

[peacetoday]

yes..
thank you