IMO no rules for a woman just be aware of the vibe you might be giving off. There were times I got in a back and forth with someone at night and other times the woman would take her time to respond. If I got into a back and forth with multiple messages exchanged in one evening usually I would meet them out for drinks faster than I would someone who took a day to respond. It just depends on how fast you want to move. Women that took their time to respond where more intriguing to me.
The DR. read my message on a Saturday, she responded the next day (Sunday) and we met out for drinks on Wednesday.
I expected most people would respond at night after they got off of work. Remember that you control the pace.
I’m not intentionally delaying responses to create intrigue. I’m just a bit overwhelmed and tired. How do people have time for this? It’s hard for me to work up playfulness for strangers on the internet.
I feel a lot less confident this time around and I’m not sure why. Tomorrow I will write back to the guy I liked the most. He complimented my profile with specific details and complimented my smile. His profile was well written as well. I notice a lot of guys do that and maybe it’s a way to comment on a physical attribute without crossing the line? I think it’s a good idea if mixed in but not the sole message.
I guess to my advantage is I don’t feel like I want it all that bad. It’s almost like something for me to do and think about other then my ex husband.
I never complimented a girl on anything physical during the emailing back and forth stage. There was one girl that had a really amazing smile that I did tell her that on our first date.
I never had the time to talk to or date multiple women at once. Not sure how many people do that these days with work, kids, and other responsibilities.
Just have fun with it, correspond when you feel the need and just enjoy it. Try to not take it overly serious.
Dating is hard, especially when you are getting back into the swing of things. One of the biggest challenges is realizing that you do not have to settle for anyone, you can be a bit picky. For me, the games is what always drove me nuts, these "wait 3 days to call her again" or "don't send her a FB friend request until the 3rd date" "etc" crap was completely insane.
When I got divorced I dated a few girls. First one I dated was amazing, I could have married her, but I realized it wasn't fair. I was just replacing my ex with a different girl. I had to break it off and GAL, because I didn't really know who I was yet either. Looking back, she was amazing, but a few years later, I know we never would have worked out. I would have had to change into what she wanted, which I would have done, but I would have been miserable again.
Best advice, be you. Don't hide it. The girl I have been with for a few years is like that, completely caught me off guard. One of our first dates, she ate chicken wings, like a freaking caveman, I was waiting for her to snap the bones in half and suck out the marrow (do chickens have marrow?), she had buffalo sauce all over her face and I just started cracking up. She said "Yup... This is who I am, I LOVE chicken wings...I am not proud of how I eat them, but I am not ashamed either." I realized right then and there that she knew who she was and I could take it or leave it. So I took it.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
Thanks for posting eye tie - a girl that eats chicken wings like that sounds like she would be fun! I love it when women are just down to earth and relatable.
So far online dating has been going well. One guy seems really nice and enthusiastic and seems to be a good communicator and we are trying to figure a time to meet up. Another guy is looking into a dance lesson for us which seems like a fun date.
I wish they had on line dating when I was younger before I met my ex husband. I would have loved it. It’s hard now because of time. And perhaps I shouldn’t speak too soon as i have not actually met up with any one yet. I’m just surprised at how fast it’s moving along. I don’t even have nice outfits any more, so that’s something I have to think about. What do girls wear when they meet you guys? I’ll find out where we are going first.
I think I will do well with dating. I work with people, so I can handle conversation and I am making it out to be about having a good time as opposed to meeting a soul mate.
I agree with KML Juju. The one thing that stood out for me with all of my dates is that most people are quite different when you meet them than how they were online. I also figured out that the sooner I met someone, the better...rather than create too much of a “relationship” online beforehand. Makes it more awkward when you meet in person IMO. The exception I made to that rule was with the guy I am seeing now because we texted each other for about seven weeks before we met. But I think the difference is that I didn’t think we would ever meet (because of our age difference) so I was texting him the way I would a friend. We only met because I was bored one night and agreed to meet him up with him on a whim. Best laid plans...lol.
Thank you guys for the advice. I do not have a lot of experience dating - I tend to go straight into long term relationships - so balancing conversations with multiple guys feels weird to me. Not just cause of time issues but I expect getting romantic as well.
I know what your saying with creating a relationship in your head and I’m trying to avoid that as well. Talking on line or even on the phone is completely different from meeting someone. And i don’t want to be influenced by my own imagination and fantasy without looking at the actual real person (I did that with ex bf). The guys I am talking to are interested in texting and talking and communicating and want to know about me and that feels good because of being in a Lonely relationship with my ex husband and in a relationship with someone lazy and passive and rude last time around. I think about how other woman would have cheated on my ex husband or left. I’m glad I didn’t disappoint my son that way though. I am not gonna put up with that in a partner in the future.
It is fun for me though. I like having something to think about and a motivation and place to go to dress up and look nice. I like meeting knew people and it’s nice to have someone to think about a bit. It distracts me from other stuff in life.
I agree meet as soon as possible. I made that mistake one time of chatting it up way too much with someone before I met them. They were not what I expected.
First date should be coffee or drinks like happy hour. Personally I never met anyone for coffee. My reason was if I like them and was attracted meeting for coffee was not romantic (also if i wanted to kiss them it would have to be with coffee breath). If I liked the person and was attracted I always went for the kiss after the date. If I wasn't attracted they got a hug.
No dancing or dance lessons. Way too much for the first date.
