The D has been final for a bit over a year. It was a initiated much before that, but there were lots of issues, biggest being custody. His son is his life as my daughter is mine. But he may have just realized how real it does get when you involve kids. His son kept talking about my daughter after, asking to come over on his dads nights. Maybe he realized that if his son gets attached and this doesn’t work out it would detrimental to him?
I’m just speculating now. He did ask that we just go slow which he said I’ve been amazing with so far.
Even if we move much slower with the kids, I really don’t want to move backwards . That I’m not ok with.
But he is hanging out with me and my daughter on Sunday. So I don’t think he wants to end anything. I think he’s just scared.
Can't edit. I guess I'm just trying to say that he might be feeling nothing but positive feelings and just wisely making sure he doesn't rush things, particularly with his kid. He told you as much. None of that necessarily means fear or negative emotions. It could even be the opposite, he feels like running away and getting married so is trying to keep himself from losing control out of love for you.
Keep calm and do what comes next!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Zues, he is definitely protective and deliberate. Which I respect. Maybe he enjoyed it too and feelings were kind of strong and he wants to slow this down and make sure he isn’t acting hastily. I really do appreciate and hope your positive version is true.
Part of me is freaking because I also brought my daughter into this. And she really likes him and his son. And I do think he takes into account the fact about how I feel regarding that and wouldn’t be spending time with my daughter this weekend.
I need to do something different this time. I need to majorly back off and not show my insecurity and let him come to me. I’m going to give him the space. Maybe I need some mental space too. I care deeply for him. It’s tough.
In the meantime, I took a loan out against my 401k and my surgery set and I opted for the more expensive option but one that will be worth it in the long run.
I think I’m a bit vulnerable right now too. Sensitivities are running high.
I don’t think I am. I never asked. But that department is very healthy. Not an ounce of performance anxiety, we are very compatible in that department and it’s defibitely very connected. It’s also been over 2 weeks since, lol. He’s also a big post-coital and sleeping cuddler. He will randomly kiss me in the middle of the night, spoon and hold my hand.
Away from the kids he is very physically affectionate and has no problem with PDA He is a hand holder, higher and kisser. Just as I am. He snuck a few touches in when we were away and 2 kisses.
Zues, he is definitely protective and deliberate. Which I respect. Maybe he enjoyed it too and feelings were kind of strong and he wants to slow this down and make sure he isn’t acting hastily. I really do appreciate and hope your positive version is true.
Part of me is freaking because I also brought my daughter into this. And she really likes him and his son. And I do think he takes into account the fact about how I feel regarding that and wouldn’t be spending time with my daughter this weekend.
Right on. The more I think of it the more positive I think it is. If he was rushing forward and love bombing you it would almost be scarier, wondering if it was going to real and if he was going to panic and just vanish one day. At least here you know that he is genuine and taking this very seriously.
Hang in!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I just ask because this all just may be very new to him. First serious R post D, first maybe??? sexual partner after D. It can be a lot to process.
The DR is not my first sexual but obviously my first serious and even though she is an amazing person and I am very lucky it scares the $hit out of me.
