Quoting lostlove: I'd love to go back to school, work on getting that masters so that by the time the kids are in school full time I can get right to the real job. but h seems to have an issue with the money? I wonder if it is just the money or if there is some other resignation in there.
gotta be something else--in the long run the tuition is a lot cheaper than being separated/divorced and paying for two households.
Quote: give up the appartment and use that rent money to pay for my schooling?? what d'ya think of that. $ for school issue solved. my viewing the appartment as your still not being fully commited to our m gone. two issues resolved in one shot.
Quote: I have brought up the going to school thing with h and is doesn't seem like a possitive in his eyes, says why don't I see what I can do with the degree I already have now.
Sounds like your H has insecurities. When you've expressed doing your own thing in the past how has he handled it--encouraging or stifling? Just curious, LL.
Quote: When you've expressed doing your own thing in the past how has he handled it--encouraging or stifling?
depends very much what "my own thing" happens to be.
ie: when I told h that I had called the gym to sched an appointment to look at it to join up, he was happy for me.
h does not ever discourage me from going out and doing things with my friends or making new ones.
when I mentioned the possibility of getting a part time job h was all for it and suggested when I was going to be at walmart that day why not pick up an application even asked about it later to see if I had.
but for some reason my going back to school seems to be some kind of threat? I don't know, could be a money issue, perhaps he doesn't really know how much it would cost and is thinking of it like undergraduate school with a big bill? or maybe he feels threatend that I may meet more people "like me" there, maybe a man more like me?
anyone who knows h, would never see him as insecure or sensitive, infact most view him as pretty confident in himself.
think that for now I will work the gym thing in, do some research on school costs and potential for earnings with and without the masters and at another time bring it up with h.
we are planning to leave tommorrow evening for our mini ski trip. there is still a threat of snow leaving the possibitly that we will have to cancel. that really bites and I don't see it as all that neccissary, I mean after all he does let his employees go away for ski and/or snow-mobile trips. why can't the boss get a break????
Quote: maybe he feels threatend that I may meet more people "like me" there, maybe a man more like me?
This was my first thought...
Quote: anyone who knows h, would never see him as insecure or sensitive, infact most view him as pretty confident in himself.
IMHO, I have to say that any S that behaves like our Ses is not confident. My W did what she did out of insecurity. Is it possible your H did the same and is threatened by you really taking yourself up a notch? Maybe he's always felt inferior because he never finished school like you? Like I previously said, I'm simply thinking outloud and throwing this out there, as I have no clue either way...
LL, hope you get to go on that trip..it would be so good for both of you..glad that you are going to check out the gym..it gets you out and is good for you!! We all seem to be a little restless with our spouses..we all just want things to be done and go on with our lives with or without them..we have to hang in there for the long ride. Sue
ll, i am not sure if you have said, but exactly what is h's apartment for, i mean why is he keeping it? can he rent it out to make money? or is he renting it from someone? it makes sense that giving up the apartment would free up money for other things. i want to go back and get a masters too but i can not figure a way to do it right now. my h is not all that supportive about school either. he dropped out of highschool and got a ged then went to several communtiy colleges. he is looking in to go back now. i am going to try to take a spanish class. I think it's great you are going to a gym, to, but i fear i wouldn't be motivated enough to use it! have a great trip! lisa
Quote: but exactly what is h's apartment for, i mean why is he keeping it? can he rent it out to make money? or is he renting it from someone?
when h left last spring, he first went to mom & dads, then to sisters and then finally took a basement appartment. why he still keeps it??? he doesn't seem to use it much anymore, cept for when it snowed last week (actaully hasn't stopped yet ) he took a nap there in between plowing runs. he knows that it has to go but it is now up to him to do it. it's a bit of a convineince thing...so he doesn't have to drive all the way home at the end of a storm or if he's out with buddie (though the last night game he did come home) perhaps he is holding onto it for a while as a "just in case" I try not to think about it and honestly had forgotten about it til the last storm when he stayed there.
oh well.
the trip is still up in the air, due to get more snow, trying to see if employee can cover. I won't know the plan til tommorrow. way to live a life ha?
) he took a nap there in between plowing runs. he knows that it has to go but it is now up to him to do it. it's a bit of a convineince thing...so he doesn't have to drive all the way home at the end of a storm or if he's out with buddie (though the last night game he did come home) perhaps he is holding onto it for a while as a "just in case"