Wow what a day yesterday. Where all those emotions came from I will never know. I had been having a good day until about 3pm and bang, it went to crap. I started obsessing and thinking etc etc. I am glad its over. I woke up much better this morning. I decidded that I am going to minimize all contact with W. I will be civil etc and speak to her, but I will not initiate. Then I checked my email and this is what I got from her:
I'm still trying to get in touch with (SIL) about (Neice's)wedding, have you made up your mind about it yet.
did (Friend)call you about bringing a table over for the garage sale?
What are you doing Friday? I thought we could get the tables from church and start setting up Friday and Saturday most of the day and catch a movie either one of those nights.
let me know
(W)
WTH am I reading into this or is she actually taking the lead and asking me out? I am so so very confused.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Sorry I have not been here for you - busy weekend!
Sounds like she may be trying to balance both you and OM (or FOM as you call him).
My H did that big time and he too missed the bedtime call and I really let him have it for that one. H and OW were at the movies - I said fine but it is HIS responsibility to call HIS kids - even do it B4 going into the show DUH! He felt really bad and did not let it happen again. I am not sure your wife will feel this same pull with your boys...
You need to work on your detachment AGAIN! Maybe if she sets something up you can pick or choose what YOU want to do with her - back off on being the initiator - but I would not back off completely!!
You are reading too much into your dates and then your expectations set you off (as well as the snooping). You have come so far to blow it now. You know she's calling and seeing the OM - and I know HOW HARD this is to accept - but this is what she has choosen for the moment. It may not be the final choice for her and this is where you come in - your job is to SHOW her with your actions what she is giving up and throwing aside.
D right now would SEEM easier but in the long run there would be just as much if not more pain... She will always be a part of your life b/c of the boys.
Go find some old postings from GH (Grasshopper) - he wrote and awesome piece on not giving up!!! Read his sitch (VERY LONG) to see how far he came and got through it - it sure helped me!!
Keep at it! BABY STEPS!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
Hey MC--this is easier said than done, but try not to read anything into what she says/does. There is no way to know what's going on in her head, but any interaction between the two of you is an opportunity to leave her with good feelings about you.
You're doing a fabulous job with planning dates and being calm/cool/collected around her. It IS hard not to get expectations up when things are going good...but in my experience, it's essential to keep the expectation thing under control, because that is what sends you crashing when you find evidence that suggests you're not as far along as you'd like to be.
Expectations are your real enemy at this point--slay your dragon.
What do you gals think about her email and the "date" she suggests for Fri or Sat night? I am inclined to do it, but I am also inclined to pursue lately....
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Something to think about...she may be just expecting your help with the yard sale and not see it in the same light as catching a movie as far as fun time together is concerned.
I agree with HB though. Do what you feel will make the best positive impact on her.
Thanks for weighing in ladies. I feel like the most popular guy at the catillion.
The garage sale is at the house, so I will be here for the prep either way. I think I will go to the movie, I will wait and see about the day. Make her sweat.
She has called 3x so far today. I havent answered yet.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
W just called for the 4th time. S15 answered. I quickly went to get the mail. He brought me the phone bc W wanted to talk to me. She asked if I had gotten her e-mail. I said I did etc. She then read it. She wuickly noticed that I had answered everything except the movie question. I told her that a movie was fine etc. She is very very confusing to me. It may be guilt, but she is beiing extra nice.
She told me I could drop S6 with her at work if I wanted before going to work out if it would be easier for me. What a crock. If she thought I would risk seeing the FOM she is dreaming. I am pretty restrained, but if I saw him I am pretty sure I would slap the crap out of him.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
