MC, I know you are upset. Just think about what's getting you all worked up. It's frustrating, yes. It is a punch in our dignity as married men, but who's the sane and stronger one? Who's gonna make it through intact? And who will be there when she comes out of the fog??? (It WILL lift!)......
I want my sitch to be fixed NOW.....not gonna happen. I see that. I get worked up when I should have been praying, DBing more, and like OSU likes to put it - I need to "man up".......
If you can suck it up, then suck it up!!!!!!!!
If you want to cry - then do it. Let your emotions out!!!! THEN suck it up!!!!!
K???
Take it easy.....get through just one night.
Last edited by sol1696; 05/12/0704:02 AM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Hey Theo, just glancing at your signature. I have to say I admire you for what you've been through and standing. I don't think I could have handled that long of a PA from my W.
MC - listen to Theo.
Last edited by sol1696; 05/12/0704:30 AM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Thanks everyone for weighing in and proping me up. I was down about the "I am comfortable" statement and then the fact that she was with the OM last night pushed me deeper. Curses to my expectations that continue to get the best of me.
Last night was tough, mostly because I got a little sunburn yesterday and I had a spicy supper. That kept me awake and helped me to ruminate.
This morning is the garage sale again. I am working so I won't be here for most of today. To be a nice guy, I went and got fresh bagels for breakfast I called W to find out what kind she would like. She was cheery and nice, like she has no problems in the world.
I am committed to this fight again. I was down, but I am rising again. I will do stuff with her this weekend, because I committed to it, but after this weekend I need to let her feel my absense more. That is where I need help from you guys.
Several of you have used the phrase or similar statements to, "let her feel your absence in subtle ways". What exactly do you mean by that? How am I supposed to balance the absence and the contact? If I totally back off, I will likely get a reaction like I got when I did the LRT while she was at home, that I no longer care and want out of the M as well. Do I go 50%, 60% 75% or a combination? I guess my real question is, what are subtle ways?
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Good Morning MC! I'm glad you are feeling better today. Those dips in the roller coaster really suck! I'd like to hear the suggestions regarding subtle ways to have your S feel your absence as well. I know it's a balancing act and that everyone's sitch is slightly different but I certainly need help with this, too.
As for coping with the contact between your W and OM - sometimes I like to think that every conversation or minute spent with the OP brings them closer to the end of their R. I also say a prayer for H at those times when I know they are together. It helps a little...
Have a great day.. I hope you make a ton of cash at the garage sale!
It is all going to the youth group at church for their trip to Orlando this summer, so I get jack.
And yes, I really need to hear what these subtlies are.
Also, my W's cousin told me about a website with some good articles on marriage and Infidelity. Later today I will post the website. I skimmed one last night and it was good.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
