I think you are too nice and teach your W to take advantage of that.
I think you are 100% right. I'm trying to stop but it goes against my nature and it's a hard habit to break. I'm always trying to do for her...always have. I think I've done it so much that she doesn't even recognizes what I do anymore and she certainly doesn't seem to appreciate it. Well if she is not going to be my W then I do need to stop doing for her. Or at least when it means that I am losing out somehow. We'll see if she starts to recognize it after I stop I guess.
just checkin in how things went...sounds great. Kinda makes you feel normal again doesn't it? I'm surprised your WAW couldn't smell the other ladies scent on you at brunch...
I think you are too nice and teach your W to take advantage of that.
I think you are 100% right. I'm trying to stop but it goes against my nature and it's a hard habit to break. I'm always trying to do for her...always have. I think I've done it so much that she doesn't even recognizes what I do anymore and she certainly doesn't seem to appreciate it.
Working on it F21...working on it.
Swashy, You sound a lot like me. I am sort of in the same dilema. I always try to do things for people but you know sometimes it is nice to be appreciated for it. I have always done what I could for my for my wife or suprised her with little things. The appreciation for those things definitly decreased with time though. I still do things but I wonder if I should continue. If you read my other posts, I mentioned that she said that she really doesn't like me getting her things or doing stuff for her because it makes her feel guilty. It is just my nature. If I go buy a cup of coffee here at work I will usually get someone else a cup too. That kind of thing! Oh well...your not alone.
Nice Cincy...in that case...she probably did. Whatever - I know I had fun!
I sent her an email this morning letting her know how much fun I had, etc. She sent one back.... I think I need to tread lightly here. This has the potential to move much more quickly then I am ready for.
I sent her an email this morning letting her know how much fun I had, etc. She sent one back.... I think I need to tread lightly here. This has the potential to move much more quickly then I am ready for.
Hmmmm......
So, I have a question. Yes, once again I am here to bust your _____!! Ok, not really.
I was under the impression that you had already told her how much fun you had. Now let's be honest here. The email was sent to let her know you hold an interest in her? That you could see something come of this and wouldn't mind it? She responded back and that just opens the door of communication a little bit more?
We know she is not your 1st choice, but she is an available attractive woman whom you could see yourself getting close with. Or, is she an opportunity to make your W jealous in hopes that you get her back?
I'm NOT saying that any of this is wrong. I just want you to take a look at you! Feel this one out. Focus on Scott. Not on W or her.......
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"
You got it...tread lightly. I am going to dinner with a woman this Saturday and I keep telling myself it's not a romance or nothing thing. It's a meet new people and make new friends thing.
I had fun! I had a lot of fun. It was relaxed and comfortable. We seemed to fall right back into our old groove. We clicked right away. So yes, I wanted to contact her and let her know, again, how much fun I had and to let her know that I would like to hang out again.
That said...right now...I don't think I'm ready for it to go any further than hanging out and having fun. However...by her emails and the conversations we had on Sat night...she certainly seems...interested. However, she is starting to ask about the W....in an assuming all is AOK kind of way...when I think she probably knows full well that it is not.
SO...I have to let her know that not all is ok. Only fair to her. And I have to let her know what I am looking for right now - a friend to go have some fun with.
If my W continues on this path or if I make the decision that I'm done...then we'll see where life takes us I guess.
I'm REALLY glad you had a great time the other night.
I think it would be very easy to get caught up in the excitement of having beautiful women taking an interest in you, and decide it was time to chuck the old M right out the window. And if you did, I can't say anyone would blame you. I wouldn't! You've stood for your marriage for a very long time - much more than the vast majority of people would or could.
But on the other hand, I'll just caution you to not make any hasty, emotion-driven decisions. If you decide to move on, don't do it because something really tasty is being dangled in front of you. Do it because you really are done and ready for that step.
Whatever happens, wishing you the very best!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
