As I have learned too well, you can't change your wife's mind. You can only let her see what she'll be missing. Enjoy your children because they are relying on you(the only sane one) for stability and responsibility. Best of luck.
Which is what I hope happens. As for my D's, I let them know everyday that their mommy and daddy love them more than anything.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Regarding the vacation? I thought I did, I WANT to go on the vacation, we have been planning it for a year and I am looking forward to going.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
I was really nervous about coming home from work this morning my W was home from Dallas and wouild be up and getting ready to go to work when I got home. I thought all the way home about how I would act and what I would do, or not do. I came in the door and she was in the bathroom getting ready, I didn't immediatley go in there as I would have done before, instead I went and changed out of my Nomex ( I work in a chemical plant) and looked at the mail, and when she came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen I told her good morning and she responded with the same, and then I helped her get my two D's up and moving to get ready for a dance camp they have today ( it was really great to get to hug and hold my daughters even if only for a brief time) I stayed upbeat and positive, didn't try and discuss our sitch and I also noticed that she is still wearing her ring, but did not comment on that fact, or let her know that I was checking.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
I need some advice, I get off of nights tomorrow morning and will be off Tues and Wed. My question is, after we put the kids to bed what should I do? Should I go upstairs and watch TV and sleep up there? Should I leave? I don't really want to turn into a bar fly because that's not me. Or, should I just guage her reaction and actions before I decide? This will be the first time we've been alone together since the bomb dropped last Wed. Thanks.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
bump, c'mon someone offer me some suggestions,pretty please?
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Do what you feel like doing - don't act based on your W's actions or inactions. For one of the nights I'd try and go out for awhile, maybe with a friend or family you haven't seen in awhile.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
No, Nick's question about whether it is joint or one-on-one counseling. Not about the vacation.
Originally Posted By: Dustin R
My question is, after we put the kids to bed what should I do? Should I go upstairs and watch TV and sleep up there? Should I leave? I don't really want to turn into a bar fly because that's not me. Or, should I just guage her reaction and actions before I decide?
Do what you want. If you want to go out, go out. That might be good for you. If you want to stay home, stay home (but give her space, meaning no R talks and no hovering around her), if you want to sleep in your bed, sleep in your bed. Don't overthink this part. Don't try to play games here, or anticipate what she is thinking. Wahtever you do, I'd keep as PMA as possible.
Nomopo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
