1. My ex will be comfortable around me. I will know this because there will be an absence of "Don't fall back in love with me" and "I'm really glad that we're friends" kind of comments thrown into our conversations.
2. I will be confident within myself. I will know I am when I am more willing to take good risks for me - good conversations, trying lots of new things and when I'm happy with whatever outfit I choose.
3. I will get a life. I will know I have when I am desperately struggling to find time to be at home and chill out.
And I'll come back and look at these goals often... just to stay on track.
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
For my wife: 1- I will complement her dircetly. (I have an tendency to assume that she has the praise already) 2- I will clean up the house more to relieve some of her stress. 3- I will stop trying to ask her about our marriage constantly. 4- I will be more positive and continue to go to the gym and look good for myself. 5- I will accept the criticism and be an active listener. 6- I will stop trying to analyze every situation and try to find an answer. I will let her find her own solutions. 7- I will stop telling her that I love her so that she is not constantly reminded about the feelings that she can not reciprocate. 8- I will stop looking at her cellphone. 9- I will spend more quality time with my children. They are feeling the stress and it is only hindering. 10- I will not give up.
I will start small 1. I will not contact H 2. When I do talk to him, I will not talk about R 3. I will get emotionally stable enough to bring D6 home with me instead of at her Grandparents.
Dear Michele and everybody, Please I need your advice. I and my wife have separated a month ago. My short term goals are 1) My wife stops talking about divorce, 2) We do not fight, 3) My wife becomes more “physical”. I am trying to achieve this through the ‘last resort” strategy (not annoying my wife with my presence, not asking her of anything, and staying cool and friendly), but she works next door and I see her quite often. Besides we have 2 years old daughter and I come every day for at least 30 min to play with her. Should I schedule day or two a week when I am not coming? I love my daughter, and enjoy playing with her, but I afraid that if my wife sees me so often even “last resort” may not work. What is your opinion? Thank you Art P.S. Is it OK to offer small favours like clean her appartment, tank the car, or do for her shopping???
Hope someone can help. I have been looking for a series of postings entitled "Michele and Joanne." I ran across this a couple of months ago, and found it very helpful in giving examples of how to work through devising a set of goals, but have been unable to find it! I see several references to it, but when I click on the link to the thread, I get led back to the main forum page. Any suggestions?
