Definitely small positive signs in there. Keep it up. Next time she asks, don't say "I don't think I have choice," say "sure, no problem. Have fun but be careful." All in your most positive, happy, upbeat tone.
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Definitely small positive signs in there. Keep it up. Next time she asks, don't say "I don't think I have choice," say "sure, no problem. Have fun but be careful." All in your most positive, happy, upbeat tone.
You're right Nomopo, that's what I should have said, but I was so shocked and suprised that she even asked me that I blurted it out before I could stop myself.
Well, the vacation went excellent, we had a great time and my W and I got along great and strangley I had no feelings of panic, or any anxiety. We got home home Sunday at around three and I had been wondering what it was going to be like . I could tell when we were unpacking my truck that my W was irritated because the kids we underfoot and had a ton of energy after being in the truck for so long. So after we got everything unpacked and she was putting things away I went outside and piddled around so that I could give her time to be by herself. Sunday night was good, we ate and played with the kids for awhile and then we gave them baths and put them to bed, she took her shower and then I took mine and I went out to the living room and watched some tv again so she could go to bed without having to worry about me and pressure. I came to bed around midnight and went to sleep and when I got into bed, she actually put her hand on my shoulder and man did my heart skip a beat, nothing else happened, but just the fact the she touched me made me feel pretty good.
Yesterday she got up and got ready for work and told me goodbye and then I got up and got the kids ready for vacation bible school then came home and straightend up the house a bit and then did yardwork. Last night was totally different from Sunday, she didn't come home 'til around 6pm (she gets off at 3pm) and I had already cooked supper for the kids and we had eaten, and I could tell that she was in a bad mood, so I tried to stear clear. We played some games with the kids and then got them ready for bed and after that it was more of the same, I took a shower and came out to watch tv and I tried to make small talk with her, she apparently didn't really want to be in the same room as me so she went to bed to watch tv and then after she was alseep I came to bed. I thin she might be mad at herself for starting to have feelings again, but I'm not sure. This morning she got up and went to work and didn't wake me up tell me goodbye like she usually does. I feel like crap again, she also had her ring off again, but I'm hoping that she took it off for work so that it wouldn't rip her latex gloves and forgot to put it back on, but I don't know. I start nights again tonight so she'll have time to be by herself. I don't think we are going to get a divorce, because she reserved our cabins again for next year, but I'm just not sure.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Feeling very down today, can't stop thinking about things. I guess I should expect these mood changes she has, but it is very hard to understand.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Sorry you are having a down day. They are to be expected, unfortunately. I know it is hard, but try your best to keep your mood upbeat despite what her mood might be. Try hard not to feed off of what her mood is and maybe she will start feeding off of your positive mood some more.
Is there something you can plan to do for YOU today that might pick up your mood? Go get a beer w/ a friend, hang out at a bookstore,...I dunno, just something that might get your mind off of things and help you to feel better?
Is there something you can plan to do for YOU today that might pick up your mood? Go get a beer w/ a friend, hang out at a bookstore,...I dunno, just something that might get your mind off of things and help you to feel better?
I hope you get to feeling better.
Thanks Itskat, it's just so hard not to get down. As far as doing something, I have to go to work tonight so I can't go out for a beer or anything. I am going to go work out at the gym we have at work, it helps me to relieve stress. Things just seemed to be going so well, and then last night happened and I let it get to me. I forgot to add that when she went out the night before our trip, she called me and left me a messege apologizing for being out so late and telling me that she was on her way home, made me feel kind of good. I'm hoping that these three nights that I'm not at home will be good for her and her space. We have my family reunion this weekend in Houston, and I'm not quite sure how to ask her if she still wants to go.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Just got off the phone with my W, things didn't go so well. She initiated a R talk, she told me things are not all right, and I said I know, she said "you know what I want, and I'm done", and "why can't you just let me go?" I told her that she knows how I feel, and she made mention of the fact that I seem all calm and collected to which I responded that on the outside I may look that way, but on the inside I'm a jumbled mess. She metnioned that fact that She barked at me a couple of times this weekend and that I just took it, and wanted to know why I couldn't just be myself, and I said, I'm trying to be myself. I'm just so confused right now, things seemed to be going so well and now this, I don't know what to do.
Last edited by Dustin R; 06/27/0712:28 AM.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
What do I do when everything I do seems to piss her off?
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Hi Dustin- I just read through your whole thread and wanted to say that I'm sorry about the latest setbacks. It sounds like she might be confused by your behavior- you're not acting the way she's grown to expect and that makes her uncomfortable (even if she's not conscious of it). Keep trying to stay positive.
Thanks Sad, I kind of suspect that too, just from things she said. I just wish she'd see that it's me, and not some stranger.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
You may need to be careful to not bee *too* different. Consistant if very important but what you are doing can't be an act - you need to be you. Emotion is ok...as long as it is resonable to what is happening.
